February 24th, 2016

February 24th, 2016

(Jordan referencing Editor's note: Hi Jordan -G)

(The below was written the morning of the 23rd)

I want to start the day by going, really, before the start of the day- my mission was to stay in bed and recover some. I seemed to have dreamed a lot of complicated stuff- the big one was this story about two alien races at war, and how this one soldier, a woman from a race of some sort of baboon/butterfly hybrids-- I don't know why I dreamed that as the combination exactly, she didn't have any wings or antenae or anything. Actually she looked more like if Skeletor had a little bit of flesh on his face- an empty hole where her nose should be, but prominent, fleshy cheekbones. The butterfly part comes in from how light and agile she was- anyways, she finds herself behind enemy lines and finds a society confusingly similar to her own, children playing, caring families, that whole thing. Despite the fact that they're descended from a bird/insect race (sometimes they had beaks, othertimes my mind skipped that detail) and look very different from the main character, she didn't clue in to the fact that she was somewhere she shouldn't be. She makes friends with someone there- this is where I got the clearest image of her face- it's not a face that you would think could smile, but she made it smile with this friend, excited for an adventure. They race away from some soldiers, until she decides to help them, to betray her people. So she agrees to go back to her side and set them up for a fall, but when she goes back she keeps offering for someone to check her bio-recorders: she has one in her foot (which for some reason is referred to as her life) and one behind her ear (which is referred to as her soul) but no one feels the need to check the recorder because they implicitly trust her.

And now for a sad plot twist: she's so moved about her peoples trust in her that when she returns to the other camp she uses a green flashlight/laser to kill all the enemy forces by surprise. I didn't see that one coming.

Oh man! I also dreamed about this experimental/mystical mech suit, large but somewhat effervescent with a few tron lines going on- it fights by clamping on to an enemy's back and taking a "spirit bite" out of the top of their head- it doesn't physically damage the person, but it wipes away all the negative things from a person- it turned a monstrous soldier guy, the guy you'd expect multiple war crimes under his belt, into this- mentally speaking- idealistic recruit that wanted to help out a cause for the greater good, on the side of the ghost mech, which was piloted by this vaguely pink woman (think Princess Bubblegum) who is some kind of wealthy person about town and has this mech stashed away in the basement of her tower complex at the center of the city, because of course she does- and she has a bubbly persona that falls away when it's just her and her robot assistant- Siri/Alfred type of deal. I remember thinking she was acting too mysterious and as though she knew everything, with this sort of secret knowledge, and I was all- come on man, that's like some stupid anime characterization. If she had glasses she'd be constantly pushing them up on her face with one hand, smirking while the glasses flashed light back at the viewer.

But fine, I guess I dream in bad anime characterization today. I'm impressed with my brain for coming up with that ghost mech- I can't think of anywhere I might have seen that before and  it was an insanely cool visual.

Last thing I want to mention that I dreamed: I dreamed that Harlan Ellison (er, I think that's the comedian's name, that, or I'm name dropping the one science fiction writer... but I mean the comedian with big ears. You know the one.) showed up at some house I lived at in the past (I'm not entirely sure what house this was) looking for a bathroom, and Jordan points him to this bathroom that's really far away. And I'm like "Jordan, there's a bathroom just behind you, what are you talking about?" And makes a movement like, yes, yup, I knew you were going to mention that, and then he says it all has to do with... "seatbelts."

That was so ridiculous I had to wake up and have a good laugh about it.

And I ALSO had to wake up at 3 am or so- someone called my Canadian cell phone and the signal reached me (unexpected since I failed at sending a text back home that one time)- my phone ring changed now that I'm "digitally roaming" so I didn't recognize the sound- I shot up out of bed, disoriented, but assuming it was some kind of fire alarm, only to see it was my dumb phone probably getting a call about winning a free cruise. In short, I do not know what the fire alarm sounds like here.

10:55 am on the 24th

First stop was to go to Bank of China to try and send all that money back to Canada to pay my credit card bill/student loans- I took some video of the subway system, paranoid of the security, but I'm told they wouldn't have cared. Even still, better to avoid them maybe. Bank of China really tried to turn me away because of my not having my passport, but I was insistent that, seeing as they already had a picture of my passport in their system after I recieved that moneygram a month ago, month and a half ago, they already HAD that picture, and as I was only sending money, it should suffice. They stuck to their guns, but so did I, waiting around for higher management to get involved so I could make my case. I said, look, you're telling me I can't send this money because I don't have my passport, but I could go out, find some schlub on the street with a passport, bring him here, and have HIM send my money out- it's all the same thing, the money gets sent, so how about we save a lot of time, and just send the money now?

Then they changed their tune, that maybe my photocopied passport would be okay, but I'd need the authenticating document that went with it (Vicky had to take that- it's apparently back in Wuhan now...) ALSO, and this is a direct quote from the paper the manager wrote on for me, I'd need "income proof", "tax proof" and "employment". I assume "employment" also requires "proof"- this is all for the purpose of of foreigner changing yuan into, I guess, American dollars- again, this is something I can perhaps bypass using a foreigner to send this money for me, but it was an effective smokescreen to get me to leave the building.

I subwayed back to Web and immediately informed Vicky that, first, there was no more drip in my bathroom, so I guess that problem went away on its own?, and then I asked for help in regards to this moneygram situation. She took down the info, bank of china number, etc. etc. and I told her that, if I sort of stretch my less crucial Wal-Mart and student loan payment times, I needed this sent and in my Canadian bank account for the third or so- really, I'm not sure what's going to happen with my BIG credit card when the internet bill hits it, I don't want to think about that. Yee-eesh. But enough about that, Vicky is on the case, and she's mostly reliable. She then asked me if I could take a trip to Qinqniwaqiao Web to get my fingerprint into the clock in system- I said no problem, but spoiler alert, I got there around 8pm and the HR person was gone- well, Vicky should have said a time I had to be there by, I was otherwise occupied.

And here is how I was occupied: I was approached by a new student, first day, Ivy- she wanted some advice for an upcoming interview she had with Peking University. We had a very long conversation, and she asked if we could be friends- of course we could! That was obviously an amazing segway (segue? sp?) to me talking about Kamen rider Fourze- regardless, she invited me to get some coffee, and I accepted. So we hung out in the coffee shop for several hours chatting, and I couldn't help but notice she was staring a little too intently into my eyes... and to be honest, I indulged myself in a fantasy of intimacy and looked into hers. It was a nice feeling, but in doing so I worry that I could lead her on. She is very sweet though.

We parted ways when I had to make my trip to Qinqniwaqiao (like "Chin ni wa chow")- I'm getting used to the subways system, but I still have a lot of trouble with the exit here- I second guessed myself, and came out the wrong end, unsure of which way was north, and walked the wrong way for a bit. There was a sign pointing to Huanghe Lu, which is north of where I was, so I knew I needed to turn around.

To my surprise, there was Dany teaching an English Corner! He's a busy guy. But no Tyler, no HR, so I had wasted some money on the trip. I stayed for the tail end of Dany's presentation before deciding to go to Victory Plaza for some boneless chicken, but it seems that whole place closes at 8- which was the time. So I popped back in the subway to go back to Xi'an Lu and who should be waiting for the subway but Melody, a student, and her friend who introduced herself as Margaret. It seems Melody just had a job interview, and Margaret came for moral support. So we got to practice the word "coincidence" a little bit, and generally have a nice ride until my stop.

Deciding I wasn't really hungry, and getting a kettle to try and improve my health was more important, I skipped Food Bazzar in favour of hitting up Carrefour. I purchased an 89 yuan kettle that, now that I've used it (not in my kitchen of course, no power in that outlet, so I have to use my phone station where a tv should be) it boils water in like two seconds, it's crazy good, way better than the family kettle back in Canada. You know, oatmeal with hot water is actually pretty good, eh? 

I also got some water (naturally), and someone waved some discount bread near me and I shrugged my shoulders and bought it. Then got some dried fruit stuff at the place outside Carrefour where I got those Trojan Apples (technical term). I returned home, dropped everything off, then crossed the street to the restaurant where I had that giant corn cake thing. This time I played it safe- 10 sticks of somekind of meat. Ah, the first five were kind of small, and I'm sick, I should get some kind of vegetables... okay, let's order that salad...

...and the salad was mostly nuts, I kid you not. Like, 12 yuan for that number of nuts is likely an amazing deal, but I couldn't eat all of them. Again, this restaurant defeated my iron eat-everything-on-my-plate will. I have to conclude that those higher priced, large plate items are meant to be shared- the portion sizes are out of proportion to everything else served EVERYWHERE in China. Like, there's no way this is the only place that gives a guy this much food. I took some video in the restaurant, and, defeated, paid my bill and left. The cashier used a little English and had such a warm, friendly smile, a nice end to the meal.

Er, well, but then I went home and had a ton of the medicine Alona gave me today, and oatmeal, and dried fruit, and a banana, and discount bread, so I ate a lot after I left the restaurant. I just couldn't deal with anymore nuts. Or the sauce. Or the red onions. Give me cucumbers(in my salad) or give me death! That's a saying, I'm sure it is.

I also got a call from my dentist back home in Canada alerting me that I'm due for a check up- it was nice to hear from them, they must have been the ones that called me that morning at 3am, but I told them I'd have to get back to them, you know, sometime later. Boy, my "digital roaming" mode phone ring is alarming to me.

And then I played pokemon and candy crush and went to bed! Full day! And now it's another day! And I'm all caught up on my posts! And in one of the last few days Alona had a birthday, and so Sylar bought a cake which I got to partake in at Food Bazzar, but I forget which day that was. And did I remember to tell you about the souvenir Steve got for me from his trip to Kumming? It LOOKS like a native person carved into a bull horn. Very uncomfortable for me, but thoughtful of him just the same. Ah, yes, thanks Steve, it's very... interesting, for sure!

I'm crossing my fingers that the people of Kumming just happen to dress similarly to certain first nations peoples and yet have zero history of being oppressed by anyone, but especially by white people. That would be great, super, really swell.

Okay, NOW I'm all caught up. Talk to you later! - 11:57 am

February 23, 2016

February 23, 2016

7:03 pm on the 22nd

My last post was for the 19th, so I'm a few days behind, but I've started taking some short notes, about which classes I taught, which students, anything actually noteworthy, on my daily work schedule. I'll catch up on those posts tomorrow, if in a truncated fashion.

I seem to be sick again, I spent a good portion of last night and today blowing my nose- but at least my throat seems to be fine. I am somewhat low energy, but that could also be tied into having had less sleep.

There are fire works outside my window, it sounds like a sudden downpour on a metal roof. I guess I should grab that camera... as expected, I start recording, and it all but dies away. At least now there's a recording of my stuffed up sounding voice.

Oh, and the fireworks are because today is the Lantern Festival. Does the Lantern Festival last one day or multiple days? No idea. But they serve a kind of cold dumpling thing for the occasion (a word I hate trying to spell) and you'll never guess what it tastes like: peanut butter and jam! Didn't expect that one.

I was supposed to go check out a fireworks display with Aimen (now I think it's spelled with an 'e', maybe he's messing with me, spelling-wise), but I didn't get back home until after he checked on me, left a note, and headed out. It doesn't matter, I wasn't feeling like going out anyways- also, his note said the official fireworks display was cancelled due to pollution. Scary. But that hasn't dampened the spirits of the firework loving citizens of this metropolis.

This morning....okay, just barely afternoon, I got out of the shower to the sound of a dripping noise. I hate that noise- it's the sound of a problem that requires some kind of adult response. The dripping was from some kind of nozzle at the bottom of my now-powered water heater. Hmm, perhaps if I pull the lever down *spray of water from the nozzle* ookay, so I'll push it the other way*spray of water from the nozzle* so there's no right answer here. I went back to the power switch things and turned off the power to the heater- the drip seemed to slow, but that maybe had more to do with me not fiddling directly with the nozzle.

I won't keep you in suspense about it, during my extended visit to work today I stopped Vicky to let her know about this drip situation, and she said to tell her if it persisted to the next day. I returned home to find no drip, the room dry as a dry place.

I don't know what to tell you.

My main pursuit today was in biting the bullet and looking at the exchange rates, and preparing to send money to Canada for my various credit card and student debts. I have tons of money for life in China, at least so far as I can tell. But it doesn't translate all that well.

To get into the grisly details, I still have my cellphone for Canada (which I want to keep)- $22.60. My Wal-Mart card, uh, I'm sending $50 for that one, I always forget to bring my password with me to work so I can check the statement on that one- my low Visa card is easy, $17 which I round up to $20. I know what you're thinking: what's this guy complaining about, this doesn't sound so bad! Well, hold on- student loan is $175 at the end of the month, and my BIG credit card, the maxed out one, is well, some fee or other tipped it over the edge (ARRGH that's the worst) so that's a $50 fee right there, plus internet for everyone back in Canada is about $53- that card needs $300. Aye. Yeah, that's the hit you were waiting for.

So I need $567.60 Canadian in my Canadian bank account to make these people happy (and I think I already blew it, because I don't think this months internet fee has been charged to my card yet, so that'll bounce and I'll get hit with another fee? Man.) $567.60, add 10% to cover any Moneygram fees, and the fee from getting Jordan to e-transfer the funds from his account into mine- so $624.36. In Chinese Yuan that's 2958.30- I took out 3000 from my account here, so I have it, I have that which the wampyre feeds on- but apparently the sign that said "Moneygram" outside the Bank of China by Roosevelt was just for show, and I have to go back to the ever loving Zhongshan Square to get this sent.

I really wanted to angrily tell the guy they should lose the sign, but I didn't. INSTEAD I mentioned that exact same anecdote about wanting to tell the guy to remove the sign on facebook, ending with "somehow I was repressed" or however  phrased it- I'm hoping someone comments that I repressed it through "years of practice" and then I can happily comment "yes, I was hoping someone would add that punchline, I set you up for that".

But the chances of that happening are somewhat slim.

I didn't have the energy for Zhongshan Square trips- it was about 3:30 and I didn't want to make the trip only to be told the bank closed early for the Lantern Festival or something, so forget it, tomorrow I'll go.

One of the flyer girls- a short girl with a darker complexion, dimples, slightly tiny teeth that accompany a knowing smile, dark eyes that always seem like she's squinting- she probably is, I've seen her wear glasses- with just above the shoulder length hair, often styled with a slight curl to it, an orange-brown colour except for the dark roots, asked for my name today. We've smiled and nodded at each other for over a month now- I assumed she didn't have much English, well, okay, she doesn't, but she has more than I thought. Anyway, her name is Tammy. Glad to know it.

After Vicky finally finished her class about the first episode of Friends I told her about that drip business, you know all about that- and I was all set to leave, whether to crawl into bed, or to visit Aimen, or what, but Steve/Bradley/Sylar invited me to grab food with them at Food Bazzar. Well, sure, why not? Besides my not feeling well... and it wasn't just me, tons of people today said "er, are you feeling okay?" so I clearly must not be looking like my regularly scheduled self.

The Sunny I'm most familiar with joined us- while the others were on the far side getting whatever, Sunny purchased a drink (and only a drink, despite being so skinny she's concerned about her weight..) which she ended up spilling a bit of when she tried to put her lid on it. It was kind of embarrassing, so I told her how earlier that day I was having some melon pieces in Food Bazzar (hoping the melon would magically cure me) when it looked like this woman across the way was staring at me- and then she got up and started walking towards me, so naturally right then I start choking on a melon piece... as she walks on by to get her food that was being prepared at the stall behind me. Classic Swingers moment, an embarrassing story.

Trust me, I'm usually cooler than that.

It seems Sunny has only two more classes with us before she begins the job that had her studying English in the first place- airline attendant! Woah, awesome! Also, she reminded me about how she studied Japanese for so long, so I searched out the one song on my music player from Kamen Rider Fourze that's about growing up, changing, and living in and loving the moment while it's here and it lasts. I think it's a wonderful song. Sunny said she liked it too, though she couldn't understand it.

It's always tough when someone hands you a song on the spot. Here, like this! You like, yes? No? Ah, what do you know.

Okay, my head hurts and I already took some tylenol type business. I'm going to play some Candy Crush, then a bunch of pokemon, then sleep whenever I fall asleep. - 8:15 pm

February 22nd, 2016

February 22nd, 2016

9:58 am on the 24th, about the 21st

Ah, that's right, I got up way too early, did some writing and then ran through a quick hour long workout with my window open, before, slightly late, running to work, and carrying my coat for the last stretch so I could cool down and not be all sweaty. That's likely why I'm sick now.

First class had Sherry, Marcia and Anna having to present their "letters to a friend" assignment before moving on to a sort of "question web" I'll call it. I put a statement on the board, and they have to use question words to ask ten questions about it. I told them "I earned my TEFL certificate last summer." Plenty of questions to be asked there, and they did a fine job of finding them.

Next class had three students presenting on historical figures- Lee did Beethoven, Sherry did Hans Christian Anderson (sp?), and Li Bin did George Smith Patton (so THAT'S what the S. stands for!) and we worked on the phrasing of "how long before x did you y?" or "how long after y did you x?" I told Li Bin that to say Patton "had got battle achievements" or however he phrased it exactly, was incorrect, but I couldn't back that up with why- the best I could figure was it was a matter of formality (and that's the best I could figure after trying to look it up).

After the two hour break (again, no notes, sorry, probably nothing interesting happened) was a class on finding out how similar or different you were to your partner- in attendance was Leon (who I always forget, but I'm locking it down now), Eamonn, May, Mandy, and Jasmine, this quiet girl at the front who I partnered up with for the sake of this classes surveys. We tallied scores at the end, and MY team had the lowest scores! What? How is that possible? Leon, very interested in my answers, had me give my responses to the class, and we got to see that I just score low with everbody... so, I'M the different one? Wha-a-at?

I guess anyone could see that coming from a mile off.

Dany gave an English Corner on the amazing human body, what with all our glands and sweat and whatnot. Meanwhile, I chatted with reception woman Dora the longest we've ever talked- maybe her English is improving? We chatted about Wechat and I argued the superiority of western social media by virtue of the metric that multiple cultures use them together, which was a point that either couldn't be argued against, or couldn't be argued against with the level of English proficiency that she had. Also she and Adam had a good laugh at my flip phone, Dora took a picture of it.

AND she told me that a word that sounds like "newbie" in Chinese means great! Newbie! (I doubt that's how it's spelled in Pinyin- I told her "newbie" is negative in the west, like you're new and don't know what you're doing)

Next was the class on talking about what 8 items you'd bring with you to survive on an island for two years. Ruby was the only student prepared for the class- also, she wasn't wearing her usual sports suit, but, like, almost a nice suit. Very sleek, nice. Meggie copied 80% of Ruby's list, which I said was a fine thing to do, it was a mostly good list (the homework tells you you have clothes, you don't need to bring more, and a telescope probably is less useful than something else you could bring). Jessi opted to bring a dog, a cat and wine- she sounds like a bohemian westerner already- but had a LOT of trouble adding to her list.

And then there was Shark, who was amazing. He stuck to his guns for a long time, saying he'd only bring "some books. A fishing rod." YES. Amazing. He eventually hit on the idea of bringing some kind of advertisement, to get other people to come to his island and charge them admission- the homework says you can't leave, it doesn't say anything about no people ever coming by. Shark, I salute you.

My last class was a doozy with Cindy, Sherry, Anna, Queena, Belinda, Steven, a Lily, an absent JK, Mars, and Daisy, who was clearly disappointed when I called her name but looked at someone else. OKAY locking that one in, won't happen again. 

We had to play through this board game, to advance you had to flip coins (because of a lack of dice, I've written about this game before- I was determined to do it better than last time, so I brought TWO sets of coins so we wouldn't be playing two identical scenarios... but then I forgot to pick up personal game pieces for everyone. Whoops... I tore pieces of paper and handed them around the table, giving them to Mars on my right, and having them passed around until one got to Belinda on my left- everone thought it was weird that I didn't just pass a paper to my left, right, left, right, whatever, but I was just being silly. Belinda said I was a "naughty boy" which is so weird- people here like to use "delicious" all the time for food, and "naughty" for bad behaviour, which obviously lacks a lot of the connotation is has accrued in the west.) anyways anyways- the game went fine. Mars felt the need to explain a bunch of stuff in Chinese to people, which isn't exactly kosher- and at one point I gave Cindy a hard time about asking Mars questions- I forget what she said exactly, it must have been a question for me, and I asked "are you sure you don't want to ask Mars about that?" and she turned SUPER red. Of course, unlike a million or so people on this planet, I'm not a dick about that, and didn't feel the need to point out "oh wow, look how red you are", rather I pretended not to notice and moved on. Like you're supposed to!

 We went a bit over time, I should have started sooner, but I didn't think it would take so long to play through the game so I wasted a bit of time at the start to slow things down intentionally. Belinda's was the first piece to cross the finish line- and everyone expected to keep playing, but I said, oh, you did it, first team with someone across the finish line- you won the game, and there's Belinda with that astonished face.

I signed everone's books and bade them get outta here (I didn't say it like that at all) I was very tired, and not feeling well, and started having to sniff back rolling snot. Mars commented on my looking tired, and I got the feeling he'd have offered to give me a ride home if I hadn't assured everyone of how close I lived. After everyone else left, Anna approached me about how you get in the teaching game, she wanted to teach someone Chinese- I only have so much useful knowledge on the topic, but I suggested she should find someone online, and I told her about kijiji. She thanked me for my time and boy was I glad to leave.

I was supposed to go bowling with Aimen and some friends of his this night, but I got home to find a note saying it was cancelled anyways- sweet. I woulda begged off going anyways, but this is easier on the conscience.

That's all my notes. I'm kinda tired now, too. - 10:53 am

February 21st, 2016

February 21st, 2016

(Time sensitive Editor's note: Guess not... you can do it Isaac! -G)

9:27 am on the 24th, talking about the 20th

Okay, first class- intermediate level 1 with Tyler, Monica and Jim. Jim is a new student (maybe Monica is as well, I don't recall) I met the day before as he left the center after enrolling in classes. Skinny, great smile, glasses. I'd cast him in a heart beat for a Chinese version of Order the Pheonix or above... I seem to be blanking on the later movies. Half-Blood Prince. Uh, the disappointing ending movie duology. Uuuuh Harry Potter and the Last Crusade. There, nailed it, vastly improved.

This class requires you to remember a story from the computer- though I remind them the story is less important (far less important) than giving me correct sentences- Tyler had done the courseware a week ago, Jim, the day before- Monica had done it a month ago! But three guesses who remembered the most of the courseware- yeah, Monica did, very impressive.

Next was a class about "Life Changes"- it was just about conversations for when you meet someone after some time and their life is different then it was. In the class we had Andrea (who I can't remember at all, I'm just going off my notes), a guy named Sunny (usually those are women), Mandy, Kee kee, a new student named Zora who was a little shy, but very sharp- and Galaxy! I gave Galaxy a gentle reprimand for her little prank on Harry the previous day.

The first activity had the students pair up and imagine what happened to some fictional people in the future after the circumstances listed on the paper. Galaxy and her partner were coming up with "got cancer" and, for the woman that was expecting her first child, in the future she had "no child". I said wow, dark, and Galaxy assured me that it wasn't her partners idea, these were all from herself. I told her I pretty much had that figured out already.

Two hour break, no notes written down. Moving on.

I had a salon class with Johnson, Rachel, James, Queena, Meggie, Bill (I love Bill, what a cute kid), Mars, Sunny (one of the older Sunnys), Belinda, and Cindy... I'm TRYING to remember what we talking about this class, I didn't write the name of it down... I would just give up, but I remember James asking me a particular question, the remembrance of which I feel is the key to unlocking the whole thing... he was asking me... how to say something... in English... which describes basically every single class here ever. Okay, I give up.

An hour break, which I spent watching Adeel give an English Corner on Speed Dating- that's right, he asked if anyone had ever tried it and I mentioned having a go at Fanexpo. He was surprised, which I took as a compliment. He backed off his premise a bit to the less pressure "speed friending" but a LOT of the guys in class just chatted with each other. Adeel and I exchanged looks like, come on guys.

I had a beginner class with Andy, David, and Dobby- Dobby is the young girl that had been hanging around Dany a bit, and was apparently friends with Steve, quite young himself. We talked about schedules, and just barely got through the lesson before the end of the hour.

Finally I had a private intermediate business class with Bradley and Amy- Bradley forgot about the homework, but that was fine- we talked about Time-Warner on Amy's side, and then Bardley talked about these two models of popular airplane, the first could carry upwards of 800+ people, and the next one, 400 people with far more fuel efficiency- I said how this made sense, with the timeline of the creation and the travel market around the great recession. Which I got to describe by talking about the Great Depression. So, we mostly just talked. It was a good time.

Those are all my notes! - 9:54 am

February 20th, 2016

February 20th, 2016

(Transdimensional Editor's note: Has he caught up? I guess I'll find out eventually. Hello future me. -G)

9:05 am on the 24th about the 19th

It was this day that I really started to record all my students names on my daily schedule so I could lock them down for myself, and to help me remember the group dynamics of the class, and thereby remember what happened in the class.

First I had Lydian, the boss' wife- but she didn't get to my classroom on time- hey, I don't care, you're in charge here! Apparently she was eating a bit- again, fine by me. And then we got started, but it seems we weren't doing the lesson she expected, so I had to go find a different one. Again, no problem, any delay that isn't my fault is a-ok. She told me she could plank for 2 minutes straight- wow, that's impressive!

English Corner, more Hamlet- skipping over some exposition at the end of scene 1, and skipping over some repetitive parts of King Claudius' speech (Bradley said his name like "Clow-dius" which sounded appropriately villainous, I approved) we got to Claudius telling Hamlet to be nice to his mother, and to keep close to his family (I mentioned the idea of keeping one's friends close and your enemies even closer). As ever, I had a blast- so much so that I didn't notice when I went 9 minutes over my allotted time. Vicky didn't seem to mind the delay to her presentation- she said she didn't notice the time either. Entranced by Hamlet? No doubt, no doubt.

Two hour break, no notes, blank mind. Moving on.

My next class was important because I had Vera in it- and I forgot her name again! (If they wrote it on my attendance sheet this wouldn't happen) and so I said that's it, I'm locking it down- Vera, I promise I will never forget your name again!(I told her this) I wrote it on the schedule, in my notebook, and etched it into my mind.

Then I had a beginner class talking about appropriate gifts for a Chinese wedding- ah, never fear, I'm an expert on them! Nope, but the lesson plan has all the info. At the end of it I got to talk about a wedding I had gone to in the past, and they seemed to really dig my talking about vows to love etc. etc. AND there was a girl named Lolita AND AND her friend named "Alien". YES. I need to get Galaxy, Alien and Mars in a class together.

My last class had to do with describing pictures- you had to say three things about the picture handed to you. What kept happening was either they'd switch over to almost making stories about the pictures (I'm looking at you, Henry) to struggling to say more than three things, not paying attention to how many they'd already said (I'm looking at you, Jessi- obviously I let her keep thinking for a bit, either she'll find a fourth thing to say, great, or she'll realize she was done, also great) and then I ended on Vera, who I said to everyone was the master of getting in, doing an acceptable amount of work, and getting out. 1-2-3 "Three things, yes?" Yup, Vera, you didn't disappoint. And then at the end you got to imagine about the circumstances in the pictures- "Henry, this is your time, man! You're all about this!"

It was fun- and that's all my notes for that day. - 9:26 am

February 19th, 2016

February 19th, 2016

10:08 am

I got up and left a little early yesterday- all the time I had spent at this other Web location meant I had no chance to make any of my regular stops to Carrefour for water, and I was running low. Did you know we need water to live? Crazy!

Ah, I also had only that one last little package of oatmeal for breakfast, and very few raisins left. Food, food is also a requirement for me to live. So high maintenance!

It was a gorgeous day yesterday- sunny and too warm for my jackets. All signs of the recent snowstorm have almost melted away.

I considered blowing by the Carrefour door attendant, but instead dutifully approached to put my backpack in a sack- but whether it was because I was willing to get sacked (what do you mean that's funny?) or because it was the top floor entrance, or whatever, the attendant waved me on- yes! Backpack goes... ON my back. There we go.

Arriving at Web, I dropped my things off and got some small foodstuffs at Food Bazzar- a couple of foods-on-a-stick type deals, nothing major, but it was what the doctor ordered. Returning to Web I tried to get my facebook on, at least to pass some blog posts on- but it took forever, and didn't want to load, I got frustrated.

These connectivity issues didn't bode well for my ability to prepare for my English Corner- the other reason I came in early. However, I had my answer for that one. I decided to copy the text of Hamlet onto my USB and go over it with the class, line by line, explaining EVERYTHING to the best of my ability. Besides copying the text into easily navigatable folders and doing a quick review for any tough words for MYSELF it was an easy presentation to prepare for. And looking through my lessons for the day I didn't need to do any photocopying (er, well, the one maybe, but I could do without it).

My first class was a homework review, going over the schedules of our best friend- two of the girls, Gabriella and Freya, were each others best friend, so they talked about each other (it's what makes them so easy to remember now)- Gabriella was often quick to raise her hand and volunteer to participate first- she even said "First!" one time, though I doubt she's aware of that as an internet phenomenon, and referred to Freya as staying at home and playing games all day. The third woman, I forget her name, but her best friend's name is Momo. If that helps.

The remainder of the class was spent with "what if" questions, altering the original schedule with a "but what if this happened...?" I described it like being that annoying kid that says "why?""why?""why?""why?"

As an example, I suggested what if Freya's neck disappeared, and she couldn't wear her neckerchief anymore? Alarmed, Gabriella said she'd take her to a hospital. I said she could pay the doctor all in neckerchiefs, since Freya didn't need them... ah, but then if the doctor is successful, she'll have a cold neck. I was perhaps a little silly.

But it was a straightforward exercise, and they seemed to enjoy it. They were less enthused about the predicting the future element of the class- I originally planned for eight rounds of guesses about the future to cover all the vocabulary of degrees of certainty- probably/definitely/might/certainly etc. etc. things like that- but we got three deep, and the class was almost over, and the three clearly wanted to not be doing that anymore. So we just chilled out and chatted for the last few minutes.

Next was my Hamlet English Corner- I had a lot of fun! I talked about scripts, the strengths and uniqueness (sp?) of plays, how they change entirely based on the director, actors, staging, all sorts of things, and I talked about expository dialogue- very key at the beginning of Hamlet. Some people seemed REALLY into it, some people seemed to hate it- so, pretty much the same reaction Shakespeare gets in any class of people. We made it as far as the ghost exuent-ing and just before someone gets into the nitty-gritty of the political circumstances surrounding Denmark vs. Norway. Really, we stopped at a perfect place, it was about to get VERY exposition heavy, even compared to what happened before. I'm considering skipping the last few things of dialogue in the scene and jumping ahead to scene 2 for todays English Corner.

During the break I went with Sylar and Leo to get some food, but actually stopped and joined Melody at this food cart thing I'd always wanted to try, but needed some guidance- essentially it's a cart for a kind of pancake/crepe wrap with lettuce, er, lunch meat, and some flaky cunch cracker thing that sets the whole thing off nicely. It took a while to prepare, and was too hot for me to dive into right away, but it was great.

Have to take a break now, I want to do some exercises before work starts! - 10:55 am

February 24th, 8:23 am

I took a few days off, being sick and low energy- so let me quickly run through the remainder of my notes for the 18th.

Adam invited me to his birthday, but he got the day wrong on the calendar because he was looking at the screwed up calendar on my computer. Once we determined I was correct about the date being wrong I played up one of those "hey, obvioously, don't you know I'm always right?" type of bits, which Adam was happy to go along and agree with.

Still talking to Adam, I asked Stella about the "single dog" song- I knew they referred to single people here as "single dogs" but I didn't know there was a song- another student mentioned it in class today- but apparently it's not a REAL song so much as it is the words "single dog" to the tune of "jingle bells".

I remained with Adam and Stella right up until the bell for my next class- "Making Movies" where students had to come up with genre and whatnot. For an example I came up with a comedy about a clown (Daniel Radcliffe) who falls in love with an acrobat (Rachel McAdams), which I kind of want to see now. I went with McAdams because one of the only western  films my students were familiar with was "The Notebook". Also there was a girl in this class with this weird accent- like it ALMOST sounded like a perfect Canadian/American English accent, and then she'd say something different and break the spell.

Oh, hey, it's snowing outside- one of those nice, light "why, it's Christmas Day, sir!" types of snowfalls. Idyllic.

And I turn away to use the bathroom and get some hot water in a cup, and it stops snowing. Life is fleeting, fellas.

My next class was on intonation, pronounciation and rhythm when speaking, and it had Belinda, Sam, James, and Candy. I'd never taught Candy before, but she was pretty quick and had a nice laugh.

My last class was on corporate benefits/requirements for jobs- I split the class in half to come up with a separate list, then took one from each side and mashed them together for role play interviews. Notable participants are Galaxy and Harry/"Goliath" (who was today named "Nikita" but I told him "Goliath" was better- I've since heard him referred to as "Harry" again, which is a better fit than "Nikita") at the end of the class I had Galaxy role play as a boss in front of everyone with Haven as the employee on the cusp of firing. They had, probably too much, fun, and then I let them choose the next group, and Galaxy chose Harry- who is a very slow speaker, tortoise-like, really, and you know Galaxy is sharp enough to have chosen him because she thought it would be funny. A little mean- a trouble maker!

And those are all my notes for that day. I need to catch up. 8:57 am

February 18th, 2016

February 18th, 2016

9:36 am on the 19th, talking about the 17th- I took some okay notes.

I got up and did some writing, then ran through my exercises, showered and power walked to Roosevelt to use facebook to wish Simon a happy birthday, it was close, facebook has been getting less reliable over here, but I managed to post something. Then I grabbed food at Food Bazzar, I wolfed it down before power walking to the subway- I took the wrong entrance such that walking and using the correct entrance would have been faster. It's confusing!

I arrived at this other Web place just in time for the 1pm deadline. I talked to Shane, also British, but probably ten years younger, about Chris's strong anti-Trudeau reaction. So it's not a British thing in general, Chris was just weird.

The first class was an intermediate business level class- some students, sure, intermediate business level, absolutely- but also there were some that need to step up a bit. The topic was on leadership, what makes a good leader, so I went around asking the class about any good bosses or teachers they've had. This one girl talked about a teacher she had in such glowing terms that I felt like I should leave, or as Moe would say "this teacher sounds so good she makes me look like a pile of puke." Don't worry, I'm just being funny- this teacher did sound genuinely amazing though, and it's a credit to her work as an English teacher that this student was able to be so convincing about her.

Besides that, the class consisted of a debate between the merits of individualists and communalists. It didn't really go anywhere, but I enjoyed jumping in on either side during slower moments. We had some laughs.

I ran through the Trudeau English Corner, it was a great success, I'm very happy with how it's come together- I added some Pierre Trudeau clips for an additional example of that kind of charisma the two run on, but also to contrast how they're two very different individuals.

Nuts to the "Food Marche"- I went to Victory Plaza for lunch. A fried chicken place welcomed me in with an English "hello", so sure, I'm eating there. The son (or just a random worker, but come on, you know it's the owners son) asked if I spoke french, which was a surprising question- he hadn't even established whether or not I spoke English. I replied with my standard "un petit peau", then he said something that may or may not have been correct- I'm obviously not good enough in French to tell if someone else is a good speaker or not. It sounded convincing.

They had these boneless chicken pieces for 12 yuan, slightly sweet, which I wasn't in the mood for, but still very good.

I finished and returned to the cash register with the son- "je veux acheter un boire" pointing at a sort of lemon iced tea drink for 6 yuan. "Ah, tres bon."

In case it wasn't clear, I don't know how to add accents in notepad and it's not a big enough deal to figure out if that is an option- but yes, it's a big enough deal that I'd stop and tell you "yes, I know there's an accent in 'tres'".

Returning to Web I spent the remainder of my time in-between classes reading articles from yahoo- yahoo works- you take what you can get. An article on the neoconservative ideology that led to the war in Iraq was very interesting, but didn't forward the cause of thinking up an English Corner for the next day. Did you know Henry Cavill has a 19 year old girlfriend? It would be less scandalous if the picture they used to tell us about it didn't make Cavill look so incredibly douchey-- and the quote they used from him made him sound clueless.

I wonder how he feels about "Man of Steel" and "Batman V. Superman Dawn of Justice Electric Boogaloo 2". Does he like the script? The way the first film was received? I hope he's a good guy.

I had a salon class regarding different faces and the descriptions thereof- mostly crickets from the crowd. Drew a really good picture of a top row of teeth though, that was some fine drawing.

A private class on the environment, good work from the two participants.

A beginner class answering questions about fictional people in the commputer courseware, good work from a good humoured class.

I had a short chat with Tyler before heading out to grab one of the last subway trains. According to a station attendant it seems I was too late to get the ride all the way back home, but got to Xi'an Lu, which is just fine- I had a nice walk back with my music playing. - 10:06 am