I really shouldn't be taking too much time to write just now, I should be hopping on a bus to go downtown and deliver some packages. I keep telling myself that I'll head back home later today before I head back out for New Years, and that I therefore have time to spare THEN to do my last entry for the month. I even need to pick up milk on the way home, something I can not do after New Years style celebrating.
And yet here we are. Because at the very least, I know if I don't type this now, then either I won't go out later because I'll be rushing to make this very post, or, and this is unlikely, I go out, run out of time, and miss my deadly quota.
But that crisis is averted.
I don't have much in the way of time, as I've already explained, so let me just briefly mention some of the STUFF I got for Christmas.
Dad got me some nice new pants, a size up around the waist for relaxin', with a too big around the collar button up shirt, and a pajama combo.
Jordan got me Ferris Bueller's Day Off and 3:10 To Yuma (new version).
Simon got me the Cromartie High School series, which is something I love. It's something that you will either love or hate, I think. I love it.
PJ got me a hardcover collection of the comic event/series Flashpoint from DC, as well as a new nephew.
That's the lot from immediate family, besides cash and cash like entities from Grandpa and Aunt Margaret respectively.
Not to disregard them, I recieved some love from the D&D crew in the form of fair trade chocolate and a lovely card with some money in it. I'll skip their names since they're a bashful sort, but Cool Geoff knows who I'm talking about.
And of course I got to go to Medieval Times with Jordan. Sure, I paid for everything, but it was half off with the coupon from my friends out in Saskatoon. So, sure, let's say I got that coupon for Christmas, why not.
Really, I would have preferred to talk about the Medieval Times visit here, but I'd rather have more time for that, and I want to scan a picture of my brother and I for the purposes of posting here (and making my facebook profile image awesome).
Oh, too bad I couldn't have done some kind of "year in review" type thing here, that would be appropriate. Later I guess. It's time and past time that I got going.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Wodehouse
Oh! Wodehouse, not "Road House". I... listen, I just thought about that Family Guy bit (look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened) where Peter Griffin takes his life inspiration from the Patrick Swayze movie "Road House" and starts round house kicking everything he can. I think that's how it went. And then later in the episode a cartoon version of House showed up, and then Peter went "Rude House"... um, because he was also constantly saying "Road House".
So, I, you know, just realized they could have made a P.G. Wodehouse gag in that episode.
I'm sorry!!
Anyways, P.G. Wodehouse is basically THE humorist of the 20th century. He was crazy prolific, and yup, the dude got knighted. He died pretty soon after that, which makes sense as the guy had said that he had now accomplished everything he wanted in life.
The lesson? Always aim to visit Alpha Centauri. That way, you'll live forever! Unless you really have done everything and are ready to check out.
Since being introduced to this writer I've easily blazed through 3 of his Jeeves novels. They're a series about a chump of an aristocrat (he calls himself a chump, what? He also tends to say what. What? But, er, rather more like an unspoken "eh, what?") who, whenever he gets into trouble, or wants to help out a chump of a pal, he rings for his "gentleman's gentleman" Jeeves who puts the old brain power to work and sets things in order.
The titles are all very similar, and though there is a continuity to the stories, it isn't needed at all, so you really can pick up any of the series and have a go at it (at least, up to the third book, I can't speak to the rest). My favourite though is the first book I read, which was that third in the series, because the stories were more self contained there than in the others. So at the begining whatever trouble would happen would be brought up, expounded upon, and solved in that chapter. Or, er, you know. Self contained.
*coughs*
I love how Bertram Wooster (that chump of an aristocrat) always sings Jeeves' praises even though the brilliant plan will very often be more beneficial to Jeeves than to Wooster. I'm not a 100% on this, but I'd probably let my butler go if he got me out of engagements by convincing the potential father-in-law that I was insane. Would hurt the old pride, what?
I tried to find a good copy of the thing, with a pair of fingers crossed for that third book, so I could give it to a friend at a Christmas party. Unfortunately, all I could find was a copy at Chapters that had a cover I really didn't like. Remember kids, always judge a book by its cover!
But it worked out in the end, I found a copy of Zot! by Scott McCloud for a great price at a book store across the street from the Chapters at Yonge and Eglinton, and it was really such a perfect thing to get for her, I'm quite happy how that worked out.
The point is, read Wodehouse AND Zot!
So, I, you know, just realized they could have made a P.G. Wodehouse gag in that episode.
I'm sorry!!
Anyways, P.G. Wodehouse is basically THE humorist of the 20th century. He was crazy prolific, and yup, the dude got knighted. He died pretty soon after that, which makes sense as the guy had said that he had now accomplished everything he wanted in life.
The lesson? Always aim to visit Alpha Centauri. That way, you'll live forever! Unless you really have done everything and are ready to check out.
Since being introduced to this writer I've easily blazed through 3 of his Jeeves novels. They're a series about a chump of an aristocrat (he calls himself a chump, what? He also tends to say what. What? But, er, rather more like an unspoken "eh, what?") who, whenever he gets into trouble, or wants to help out a chump of a pal, he rings for his "gentleman's gentleman" Jeeves who puts the old brain power to work and sets things in order.
The titles are all very similar, and though there is a continuity to the stories, it isn't needed at all, so you really can pick up any of the series and have a go at it (at least, up to the third book, I can't speak to the rest). My favourite though is the first book I read, which was that third in the series, because the stories were more self contained there than in the others. So at the begining whatever trouble would happen would be brought up, expounded upon, and solved in that chapter. Or, er, you know. Self contained.
*coughs*
I love how Bertram Wooster (that chump of an aristocrat) always sings Jeeves' praises even though the brilliant plan will very often be more beneficial to Jeeves than to Wooster. I'm not a 100% on this, but I'd probably let my butler go if he got me out of engagements by convincing the potential father-in-law that I was insane. Would hurt the old pride, what?
I tried to find a good copy of the thing, with a pair of fingers crossed for that third book, so I could give it to a friend at a Christmas party. Unfortunately, all I could find was a copy at Chapters that had a cover I really didn't like. Remember kids, always judge a book by its cover!
But it worked out in the end, I found a copy of Zot! by Scott McCloud for a great price at a book store across the street from the Chapters at Yonge and Eglinton, and it was really such a perfect thing to get for her, I'm quite happy how that worked out.
The point is, read Wodehouse AND Zot!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Christmas Eve
In the above picture you'll find myself, my Grandpa, my new nephew Silas, and my brother/new dad PJ. He's not MY new dad, he's the kid's new dad.
This day was the first I got to meet the little fella. He's a cute one, was really quiet on the road trip up to Cobourg and throughout dinner. I understand a quiet baby is desirable.
The captured moment above is seconds before, after the urging cry of my Grandfather to "spit on him, spit on him!", the obedient Silas let loose with his attack. I stepped back and cleared the entire area, with Grandpa getting the resultant guckiness on his pants and sweater. Justice.
It was basically the funniest thing that could have happened, and I was at the forefront with the heartfelt laughter.
I commandeered the rental van for the ride home (and that is actually how to spell 'commandeered' apparently) so that I could avoid the back seat driver stress that I'm often subjected to. Though it's always a long drive back, I was electrified and alert. "Must. Keep. Baby. Safe."
I'm sure my not having the headlights on for most of the drive was a great way to accomplish that.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Activate the Chronotons!
I'm just stretched out across the old bed, listening to this Simon and Garfunkel CD. Oops, I hit restart on the thing when there's actually a whole other CD I could pop in. The start of which is Mrs. Robinson! And I just finished a comment over at http://toobusythinkingboutcomics.blogspot.ca/ which is really an excellent site.
I woke up from a bit of Inception just now. I thought I was awake, having just woke up, but ah-HA! I was still dreaming.
Whilst in the deepest parts of it there was a story concerning a girl that had been turned into a cyborg, getting chased by a guy who, after an explosion in his car, was fused with some other guy. The effect is a half and half person, half chalk white, half robotic grey, with thick dark blue lips, all black eyes, and platinum blonde hair like a Dragonball character.
He was pretty scary, but I was still complaining about how, from a narrative perspective, the villain was undeveloped.
I seemed to inhabit a young super scientist that, through a process of the will, "turned off all limitations". The effect was, as proclaimed in an explanatory manner, that pain could no longer be felt, I had become intangible, rather I had become a creature of light, beaming across the planet. It was pretty fun when I managed to be in control, and that was for a great portion of things.
Then I "woke up" and explained to Simon about this dream, and how I turned off these limiters with chronotons. I think I made a Futurama reference too. I explained the turning off of limiters like how, if there are two people that are equally as strong as each other, but one is tired, then that one appears weaker. Removing the limitation of getting tired, and now the two are equal again. It was like a way to make calculations more reliable and fitting with the perfect theoretical by getting rid of, say, wind resistance or some such.
Hey, if that sounds stupid to you, blame dream Isaac.
Then I walked down the hall and was asked to shave my head for cancer research. I was hesitant at first, but then said okay.
Then I woke... and my hair was GONE!!!!! That's not true, but could you imagine?
I woke up from a bit of Inception just now. I thought I was awake, having just woke up, but ah-HA! I was still dreaming.
Whilst in the deepest parts of it there was a story concerning a girl that had been turned into a cyborg, getting chased by a guy who, after an explosion in his car, was fused with some other guy. The effect is a half and half person, half chalk white, half robotic grey, with thick dark blue lips, all black eyes, and platinum blonde hair like a Dragonball character.
He was pretty scary, but I was still complaining about how, from a narrative perspective, the villain was undeveloped.
I seemed to inhabit a young super scientist that, through a process of the will, "turned off all limitations". The effect was, as proclaimed in an explanatory manner, that pain could no longer be felt, I had become intangible, rather I had become a creature of light, beaming across the planet. It was pretty fun when I managed to be in control, and that was for a great portion of things.
Then I "woke up" and explained to Simon about this dream, and how I turned off these limiters with chronotons. I think I made a Futurama reference too. I explained the turning off of limiters like how, if there are two people that are equally as strong as each other, but one is tired, then that one appears weaker. Removing the limitation of getting tired, and now the two are equal again. It was like a way to make calculations more reliable and fitting with the perfect theoretical by getting rid of, say, wind resistance or some such.
Hey, if that sounds stupid to you, blame dream Isaac.
Then I walked down the hall and was asked to shave my head for cancer research. I was hesitant at first, but then said okay.
Then I woke... and my hair was GONE!!!!! That's not true, but could you imagine?
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Unfun video game business (aka, writing ANYTHING before bed)
I don't really seem to have that much patience for video games these days. I gave Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword a try on Christmas Day, and have since given the thing up. Everything was too slow for me- the dialogue took forever to scroll through (A,A,A,A,A... come on! I already read you!) And the busy work they had me doing inplace of forwarding any kind of narrative really annoyed me.
Then there's trying to use the wiimote to swing your sword around. If the control actually worked intuitively, if I could just swing the thing around with a corresponding attack on screen, that'd be something. But that's not how it works. And I CAN'T get the balancing mechanic right for those tight rope walking sections. It's obvious that if I don't master that immediately it'll bite me later. Well, it shan't get the chance to do any biting- ha!
As much fun as it is to not so slowly boil over in raging frustration, I'll pass thank you.
Instead, I've been offered Mega Man Battle Network 1 from 2001, and although it's still got me yelling into the air with how often the viruses kill me and I'm reduced to my last save point (which was HOW LONG AGO?!?), but I'm otherwise having a fine time with it. If I was expected to get frustrated with finding my way through the twisty turny game landscape, well that isn't happening. I was far more frustrated with navigating Skyward Sword. Trying to find those stupid kiwi creature men at the beginning, with that useless device that, ostensibly, points right where you want to go... great, if there wasn't always some tree or cliff face in the way. I just never felt like I was getting anywhere. Highly annoying.
With Battle Network, even when I do a horrible job, I get some money to spend on upgrades. Things get advanced.
In short, whether deserved or not, Skyward Sword has made an enemy of me. Give me a call when it doesn't use the wii motion controls.
Then there's trying to use the wiimote to swing your sword around. If the control actually worked intuitively, if I could just swing the thing around with a corresponding attack on screen, that'd be something. But that's not how it works. And I CAN'T get the balancing mechanic right for those tight rope walking sections. It's obvious that if I don't master that immediately it'll bite me later. Well, it shan't get the chance to do any biting- ha!
As much fun as it is to not so slowly boil over in raging frustration, I'll pass thank you.
Instead, I've been offered Mega Man Battle Network 1 from 2001, and although it's still got me yelling into the air with how often the viruses kill me and I'm reduced to my last save point (which was HOW LONG AGO?!?), but I'm otherwise having a fine time with it. If I was expected to get frustrated with finding my way through the twisty turny game landscape, well that isn't happening. I was far more frustrated with navigating Skyward Sword. Trying to find those stupid kiwi creature men at the beginning, with that useless device that, ostensibly, points right where you want to go... great, if there wasn't always some tree or cliff face in the way. I just never felt like I was getting anywhere. Highly annoying.
With Battle Network, even when I do a horrible job, I get some money to spend on upgrades. Things get advanced.
In short, whether deserved or not, Skyward Sword has made an enemy of me. Give me a call when it doesn't use the wii motion controls.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Amazing Spider-Man #700
I've loved Spider-Man for a very long time. An insidious, unconditional love, that twists perspectives.
I say that because when J. Michael Straczynski wrote for Amazing Spider-Man, I bought it every month, and hardly perceived how much darker the book had gotten. What did he have, a five year run? Six? Without a doubt, Straczynski defined an era for the web-head. When One More Day happened, magically wiping away, SPECIFICALLY, Peter Parker's 25 year marriage to Mary Jane Watson, it was a travesty that Straczynski didn't want his name attached to.
Brand New Day was how Spider-Man was re-introduced after this status quo shift, now a weekly book with a rotating creative staff, all new villains, and, surprisingly, a new lease on life.
I couldn't wait to see what this Brand New Day fuss was all about. I forget if I was coming or going from school, but I stopped on a bench at Downsview station and read that first issue. And it was amazing! In a flash the darkness of the Straczynski run was revealed to me. How had I not seen it? Here was Spider-Man! Hello again, old friend! (this despite the crassness of having the first image of that issue be Peter Parker making out with some young hottie in a night club. It was a subtle touch guys. Reeeal subtle.)
I greatly appreciated the rotating creative team, not just for the different styles I got to enjoy (no more 6 year stretches of darkness) but for the fact that each team undoubtedly acted as a counter to the others. You had an out there idea? Great! But it has to be vetted by all these other guys, each with their own ideas. I personally found this era to be a highlight in the career of the Spider-Man comic.
I have just finished reading Amazing Spider-Man #700. Once again, I didn't wait to get home. I wasn't riding on the bus, heading to this appointment or that. I bought this comic, wandered over to a bench in the Agincourt Mall where I bought this comic, and sat and read it from cover to cover.
This wasn't from any excitement on my part. Due to spoilers on the internet (and, to give terrible credit where it's due, much of this spoiling happened before any actual comic panels had been released, spoiled instead by a misguided attempt at hyping the story by the very creators themselves! When the contents of the issue cause the internet to fold in on itself in incoherent rage, know that it was the creators themselves that built up this dread in me.) I wanted to see how bad it was. How much damage had been done.
How did we get to this point? An all too short time ago, the Spider-Man comic was riding high. What changed? Amazing Spider-Man #700 is only the latest, most overt, example of a theme by Dan Slott.
Now don't get me wrong. The man does good work. His was the first name listed on that Brand New Day issue that had me so enthralled in my spot at Downsview station those years ago. The mini-series "Spider-Man and the Human Torch" was equal parts funny, exciting, and a touching homage to the bygone eras of stories past. But for the past few years, Slott has been doing his best to change Spider-Man.
Changing Spider-Man. That's a tricky thing to attempt, altering the core of a character that has been around since 1962. If you were to try it, then a light touch is required. A gentle course correction so that the end result, if we absolutely must have your end result, is an organic one.
Obviously the perfect example of the opposite of what I'm talking about is having a mystical demon show up to "make a deal" and then magic things into how they "should" be. That this is exactly how Brand New Day got it's set up should be revelatory of the kind of culture at work creating these stories, and why I shouldn't be surprised when something similar happens in the future (though on a lighter scale, because, come ON. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, and I burn your institution to the ground.)
Here is the change in a nutshell. "Spider-Man is a good looking, brilliant, super-empowered hero, with plenty of friends in that super hero community. So why is he a broke loser with no job? THAT doesn't make sense. So I will fix it." This is a short sighted, wish fulfillment or "fan-ish" approach to the character that ignores two very important factors. First is the real neurotic, self destructive quality of Peter Parker/Spider-Man that sabotages his efforts to be a not-"broke loser with no job". To try and proceed with making Parker a success without addressing that self destructive quality, to pretend that he is a victim of "the old Parker luck", is to forfeit claims to understanding the character.
The second factor it ignores is the meta narrative one. Peter Parker Spider-Man is an everyman who worries about money, gets the sniffles, etc. etc. These very real world problems, this level of relatability, is core to the success of the character (how many letter column entries at the back of a Spidey book have told the tale of someone loving Spider-Man because of how they identified with the character? Brother, they weren't identifying with the web-slinging, super side!), to attempt to change that is to play with the hottest of fires. This is the same reason why Oracle couldn't, despite living in a world of wonders, regain the use of her legs. If she ever did, the character would be fundamentally altered- which, whether or not you like the current Batgirl book, I think everyone could agree that Barbara Gordon, ex- Oracle, is no longer the same person as Batgirl.
Slott has taken leave of his senses and decided to cure his hero's tragic flaw. Not through any earned progression, but through magic changes out of nowhere.
Parker is out of work and low on funds. Solution? Marla Jameson shows up using her connections as a scientist to hook Peter up with "Max Modell" super genius operator of Horizon Labs, who ends up giving Peter the job of his dreams. Be a scientist. Oh, you have to leave unexpectedly to fight crime? No worries! We're a progressive institution, come and go as you please. You have experiments on hand that'd reveal your identity as Spider-Man? No worries! Here's a special box closet thing that you can keep all your private stuff in, no one will ever see, not even me.
Both of those provisions, about leaving anytime and having a private box to store stuff in, were specifically mentioned in that first issue where Peter got the job. It's like the whole scenario was specifically designed to be Parker-proof. Not even Peter's self destructive habits could get him fired from this job, now he HAS to be well off for his work! No more money complaints from this guy! Even on the occasion when Peter acts suspiciously, even when Modell does go into that box and sees all the incriminating Spider stuff, there's nary a thought of "He's Spider-Man!"
To contrast, back in the day ol' Harry Osborn can find a pair of Spidey pajamas in his roommates drawers and KNOW that this is Spider-Man.
Obviously, Slott is bending over backwards to remove that sort of drama from the Spider books. And refocusing on adventures isn't a mistake at all... but to arbitrarily skip over the drama when his own writing created that drama is a mistake.
This is all separate from the oddity of how Peter has suddenly become, not just a brilliant chemist/physicist but a classic "omnidisciplinary scientist" that can build whatever mad creations you want, ala Reed Richards, which, you know, is Reed Richards thing. I personally find it very out of place in a Spider-Man book, but whatever.
After getting Peter Parker the job of his dreams that not even his being Spider-Man can ruin for him and get him kicked out of, Marla Jameson gets killed. She dies, and it effects Spider-Man to such a degree that ever since he's been quite emphatic about having no one else die when he's around. This displays a surprising lack of maturity about ones own limitations, but in itself is something Spider-Man could believably say, I suppose (I mean, if he didn't say it when Gwen Stacy died, it's not something he's going to say ever, but fine, for the sake of argument let's leave it). This desire to be a Spider-Man that never fails, a "Superior Spider-Man" if you will (oh, no! I'm starting to pull things together!), takes the odd turn of having him invent a series of super suits to aid in his war on crime or whatever.
These suits, a couple of neon Tron looking numbers, and an armoured one, haven't reappeared after their initial use despite their effectiveness. Why is that? Because of their negative side effects in regards to creating drama in the story. It's the same reason why Superman gets depowered a bit every ten years (an act which misses the point about Superman and the source of that characters drama, but that's another topic), so that the enemies can remain a substantial threat. That Slott didn't consider this when he let the genii out of the bottle is yet another example of short sightedness. Of course I apologize if it was mandated from on high that they wanted some action figure designs. Wait, that would only work if I had seen any action figures based on these designs, so I retract my possibility of retraction.
Furthering his aims towards creating a "Superior Spider-Man" was the story arc leading up to Spider-Island, where Spider-Man loses his spider sense and ends up training with Shang Chi to create "Spider-Fu". And yes, I am embarrassed to have typed "spider" so often in that last sentence. The problem as percieved by Slott was that Spidey relies too much on his spider sense. Slott's solution was to remove that spider sense as an excuse for training, making Spider-Man that much more effective when he got his spider sense back. Instead of capitalizing on the dramatic potential of taking away what is arguably Spider-Man's greatest ability (to be fair, the story arc leading up to the loss, and the first issue where he operates without it, were fantastic), Slott goes for a power up.
Not just a power up, but a power up suited to a boyish power fantasy. Spider-Man needs to be better? Kung fu. Obviously that's the answer. This is why the Spider Island story was so disappointing. The premise was beautiful: everyone in New York has Spider-Man's powers (plus webbing for some reason), so when you factor things out, Peter Parker has no more power, and therefore no more responsibility than anyone else. Even better, Peter didn't have his spider sense, so he's actually at an enormous disadvantage! I would have greatly enjoyed seeing Peter having to use his intelligence to solve the problem of the day, while constantly navigating the treacherous world that has erupted around him.
Instead, he has spider-fu, and is able to beat up everyone there. That is of course why people like Spider-Man: because he beats people up. Yes, I've heard that many a time.
All of which brings us to Amazing Spider-Man #700, wherein Doctor Octopus is in the body of Spider-Man and vice versa. Hardly the first time that a body swap has occurred between hero and villain, one could argue that the same trick was given us when the Chameleon had our hero chained up under a pot of acid or somesuch and went about AS Peter Parker. If memory serves, the Chameleon got away with that particular impersonation job, which is funny, because what usually happens with these stories is some other character sees through the charade and calls the villain out on it.
This time Slott is reacting to criticisms of his own story (I'm pretty sure it was Slott that wrote that bit with the Chameleon...): how do I keep the supporting cast members that know the main character so well, who live in a universe where body swaps happen and are therefore credulous enough to be on the lookout for them? Easy! I'll just give my body swapped characters all the memories of the other person.
Once more, Slott is trading away dramatic potential (Doc Ock in Spider-Man's body must now keep on his toes to avoid alerting Peter Parker's closest friends to the switch up, to say nothing of the Avengers or the Fantastic Four) for the sake of removing a problem that... wasn't a problem. I'm sure I've never lost sleep at night over the Chameleon's inability to know my innermost thoughts when he's stealing my life.
So Slott didn't want to do a straight body swap, he wanted to figurativlely sew Doc Ock's head onto Spider-Man's shoulder, complicatedly mish-mashing the characters together. All well and good, except for the infuriating part where he insists he's telling a body swap story. Doc Ock's body dies with all of Peter's and Ock's memories inside of it, but Peter's body lives with all of Peter's and Ock's memories inside of it. And yet we are told this is a body swap story, and that it is sad when "Peter" dies. I like how Octopus gloats about having all Peter's memories, and Peter has "all" of Ock's... excepting the part about how the mind copy-pasting was done. We'll just skim over that little problem, shall we?
This is actually a CLASSIC Marvel philosophical problem- what makes a person a person? Having the memories of a lifetime isn't apparently enough, since both Peter Parker and Ben Reilly get really messed up by the prospect of being a clone. Yes, the problem of feeling a kinship with friends and relatives who have never actually met you and already have "you" in their life is a juicy one... so why these comics feel the need to dwell on whether or not they deserve life or have a soul or not is sure confusing. Anyways.
Even though I greatly disagree with the assertion that what has happened in the story is a body swap, everything else that we're told by the writer, by the characters, everything we're directed to feel by the story is such that we are supposed to take this as a body swap. It's just like when you were little and playing action figures with some other kid, and you'd smash them together and the other kid would always declare himself the winner, despite the lack of reason behind that call. I win because. This is a body swap and now it's Ock Spider-Man because.
I say again, infuriating.
The actual flow of the main #700 story was quite well done up to the point where Peter-in-Ock's-body attempted to switch back with the little gold octobot. The action kept rising, both sides constantly countering the other in a "I know you know I know" sort of fashion. Despite the grittiness of it, the act of having Ock-in-Peter's-body punch off the Scorpion's jaw excellently illustrates why we root for Peter Parker, that we're on the side that controls that kind of power.
(It also, by the way, acts as the counter-argument to the need for a "Superior Spider-Man"- Spider-Man is already privy to such power that the act of improving him from a physicality standpoint is pointless. It also renders Doctor Octopus's condition as much less sympathetic. Before, it was framed such that the mean old Spider-Man had caused Octopus's state of being through the repeated body blows, but this points out Octopus was lucky to get out of even their first encounter with his head intact. To repeatedly antagonize Spider-Man becomes an act of stupidity on the Doctor's part.)
The turn around came, ignoring JJJ's slobbering over the Ock Spidey (this despite actively seeing Spider-Man be a menace with that jaw punching thing... sloppy characterization), when the gold octobot failed to switch back the "body swap".
From then on, it's all gobbledygook in the vein of Spider-Island. There's somehow a constant link, or something, between each characters minds (a fact that conveniently hadn't been brought up until now) and so Peter forces Octopus to REALLY relive some memories, thereby getting Octopus to see the error of his ways, and promising to be a good-ish Spider-Man. A Superior Spider-Man! One that will never fall for brain switching doodads! Then Peter-in-Ock's-body dies.
If we must take this story as a body swap, that it is indeed sad that Peter dies, then this story breaks the rules of good triumphing over evil. If this can happen, then when Thanos kills half the worlds population, there's no reason to think they'll be brought back to life by stories end. It's if the hero's journey, instead of a boy leaving his village for adventure and returning a conquering hero, it's the boy leaving and dying somewhere outside the village. No one really knows where, we never heard from him again, and we assume the worst.
If this wasn't really any kind of a body swap, like I've been talking about this whole time, that Peter Parker isn't really dead, then #700 is a story told under false pretenses that doesn't deserve any attention, and we've gone through all these hoops to try and mentally agree with this "body swap" idea for no reason.
The letters page has tributes to the character Spider-Man from various industry professionals. Some give touching accounts about, ultimately, the power of fiction to effect one's life, re-directing it's course forever, and then you have some joke tributes that cheapen the whole exercise.
The final letter in the book, from Kevin Tu, 13 years old, from Pennsylvania, tells us how these comics bridge time together. He's talking about the time Peter took a job at Tricorp, and how he ended up fired because he couldn't be reliable enough for the hours (thanks, Spider-Man!), and was hoping something similar didn't happen to Peter at Horizon labs. This is amazing to me. This kid was barely even alive when I was reading that Tricorp stuff, but look at him now, he's blazed through all the Amazing comics and is referencing Tricorp, the Clone Saga, other stuff that I've just now forgotten what he said... this is the power of a character like Peter Parker, a timelessness that lets people enjoy him in 1962, 1992, and 2012. One might even say that writing this character is a great responsibility.
Slott has dropped the ball on that responsiblity, aiming for a memorable run instead of maintaining the stewardship of the character. I've bought issues of Amazing Spider-Man since I was ten (I know, I'm surprised I was that old too, but I just checked the dates) and now, even if I wanted to, I can't anymore. What are the ten year olds of today to do?
I say that because when J. Michael Straczynski wrote for Amazing Spider-Man, I bought it every month, and hardly perceived how much darker the book had gotten. What did he have, a five year run? Six? Without a doubt, Straczynski defined an era for the web-head. When One More Day happened, magically wiping away, SPECIFICALLY, Peter Parker's 25 year marriage to Mary Jane Watson, it was a travesty that Straczynski didn't want his name attached to.
Brand New Day was how Spider-Man was re-introduced after this status quo shift, now a weekly book with a rotating creative staff, all new villains, and, surprisingly, a new lease on life.
I couldn't wait to see what this Brand New Day fuss was all about. I forget if I was coming or going from school, but I stopped on a bench at Downsview station and read that first issue. And it was amazing! In a flash the darkness of the Straczynski run was revealed to me. How had I not seen it? Here was Spider-Man! Hello again, old friend! (this despite the crassness of having the first image of that issue be Peter Parker making out with some young hottie in a night club. It was a subtle touch guys. Reeeal subtle.)
I greatly appreciated the rotating creative team, not just for the different styles I got to enjoy (no more 6 year stretches of darkness) but for the fact that each team undoubtedly acted as a counter to the others. You had an out there idea? Great! But it has to be vetted by all these other guys, each with their own ideas. I personally found this era to be a highlight in the career of the Spider-Man comic.
I have just finished reading Amazing Spider-Man #700. Once again, I didn't wait to get home. I wasn't riding on the bus, heading to this appointment or that. I bought this comic, wandered over to a bench in the Agincourt Mall where I bought this comic, and sat and read it from cover to cover.
This wasn't from any excitement on my part. Due to spoilers on the internet (and, to give terrible credit where it's due, much of this spoiling happened before any actual comic panels had been released, spoiled instead by a misguided attempt at hyping the story by the very creators themselves! When the contents of the issue cause the internet to fold in on itself in incoherent rage, know that it was the creators themselves that built up this dread in me.) I wanted to see how bad it was. How much damage had been done.
How did we get to this point? An all too short time ago, the Spider-Man comic was riding high. What changed? Amazing Spider-Man #700 is only the latest, most overt, example of a theme by Dan Slott.
Now don't get me wrong. The man does good work. His was the first name listed on that Brand New Day issue that had me so enthralled in my spot at Downsview station those years ago. The mini-series "Spider-Man and the Human Torch" was equal parts funny, exciting, and a touching homage to the bygone eras of stories past. But for the past few years, Slott has been doing his best to change Spider-Man.
Changing Spider-Man. That's a tricky thing to attempt, altering the core of a character that has been around since 1962. If you were to try it, then a light touch is required. A gentle course correction so that the end result, if we absolutely must have your end result, is an organic one.
Obviously the perfect example of the opposite of what I'm talking about is having a mystical demon show up to "make a deal" and then magic things into how they "should" be. That this is exactly how Brand New Day got it's set up should be revelatory of the kind of culture at work creating these stories, and why I shouldn't be surprised when something similar happens in the future (though on a lighter scale, because, come ON. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, and I burn your institution to the ground.)
Here is the change in a nutshell. "Spider-Man is a good looking, brilliant, super-empowered hero, with plenty of friends in that super hero community. So why is he a broke loser with no job? THAT doesn't make sense. So I will fix it." This is a short sighted, wish fulfillment or "fan-ish" approach to the character that ignores two very important factors. First is the real neurotic, self destructive quality of Peter Parker/Spider-Man that sabotages his efforts to be a not-"broke loser with no job". To try and proceed with making Parker a success without addressing that self destructive quality, to pretend that he is a victim of "the old Parker luck", is to forfeit claims to understanding the character.
The second factor it ignores is the meta narrative one. Peter Parker Spider-Man is an everyman who worries about money, gets the sniffles, etc. etc. These very real world problems, this level of relatability, is core to the success of the character (how many letter column entries at the back of a Spidey book have told the tale of someone loving Spider-Man because of how they identified with the character? Brother, they weren't identifying with the web-slinging, super side!), to attempt to change that is to play with the hottest of fires. This is the same reason why Oracle couldn't, despite living in a world of wonders, regain the use of her legs. If she ever did, the character would be fundamentally altered- which, whether or not you like the current Batgirl book, I think everyone could agree that Barbara Gordon, ex- Oracle, is no longer the same person as Batgirl.
Slott has taken leave of his senses and decided to cure his hero's tragic flaw. Not through any earned progression, but through magic changes out of nowhere.
Parker is out of work and low on funds. Solution? Marla Jameson shows up using her connections as a scientist to hook Peter up with "Max Modell" super genius operator of Horizon Labs, who ends up giving Peter the job of his dreams. Be a scientist. Oh, you have to leave unexpectedly to fight crime? No worries! We're a progressive institution, come and go as you please. You have experiments on hand that'd reveal your identity as Spider-Man? No worries! Here's a special box closet thing that you can keep all your private stuff in, no one will ever see, not even me.
Both of those provisions, about leaving anytime and having a private box to store stuff in, were specifically mentioned in that first issue where Peter got the job. It's like the whole scenario was specifically designed to be Parker-proof. Not even Peter's self destructive habits could get him fired from this job, now he HAS to be well off for his work! No more money complaints from this guy! Even on the occasion when Peter acts suspiciously, even when Modell does go into that box and sees all the incriminating Spider stuff, there's nary a thought of "He's Spider-Man!"
To contrast, back in the day ol' Harry Osborn can find a pair of Spidey pajamas in his roommates drawers and KNOW that this is Spider-Man.
Obviously, Slott is bending over backwards to remove that sort of drama from the Spider books. And refocusing on adventures isn't a mistake at all... but to arbitrarily skip over the drama when his own writing created that drama is a mistake.
This is all separate from the oddity of how Peter has suddenly become, not just a brilliant chemist/physicist but a classic "omnidisciplinary scientist" that can build whatever mad creations you want, ala Reed Richards, which, you know, is Reed Richards thing. I personally find it very out of place in a Spider-Man book, but whatever.
After getting Peter Parker the job of his dreams that not even his being Spider-Man can ruin for him and get him kicked out of, Marla Jameson gets killed. She dies, and it effects Spider-Man to such a degree that ever since he's been quite emphatic about having no one else die when he's around. This displays a surprising lack of maturity about ones own limitations, but in itself is something Spider-Man could believably say, I suppose (I mean, if he didn't say it when Gwen Stacy died, it's not something he's going to say ever, but fine, for the sake of argument let's leave it). This desire to be a Spider-Man that never fails, a "Superior Spider-Man" if you will (oh, no! I'm starting to pull things together!), takes the odd turn of having him invent a series of super suits to aid in his war on crime or whatever.
These suits, a couple of neon Tron looking numbers, and an armoured one, haven't reappeared after their initial use despite their effectiveness. Why is that? Because of their negative side effects in regards to creating drama in the story. It's the same reason why Superman gets depowered a bit every ten years (an act which misses the point about Superman and the source of that characters drama, but that's another topic), so that the enemies can remain a substantial threat. That Slott didn't consider this when he let the genii out of the bottle is yet another example of short sightedness. Of course I apologize if it was mandated from on high that they wanted some action figure designs. Wait, that would only work if I had seen any action figures based on these designs, so I retract my possibility of retraction.
Furthering his aims towards creating a "Superior Spider-Man" was the story arc leading up to Spider-Island, where Spider-Man loses his spider sense and ends up training with Shang Chi to create "Spider-Fu". And yes, I am embarrassed to have typed "spider" so often in that last sentence. The problem as percieved by Slott was that Spidey relies too much on his spider sense. Slott's solution was to remove that spider sense as an excuse for training, making Spider-Man that much more effective when he got his spider sense back. Instead of capitalizing on the dramatic potential of taking away what is arguably Spider-Man's greatest ability (to be fair, the story arc leading up to the loss, and the first issue where he operates without it, were fantastic), Slott goes for a power up.
Not just a power up, but a power up suited to a boyish power fantasy. Spider-Man needs to be better? Kung fu. Obviously that's the answer. This is why the Spider Island story was so disappointing. The premise was beautiful: everyone in New York has Spider-Man's powers (plus webbing for some reason), so when you factor things out, Peter Parker has no more power, and therefore no more responsibility than anyone else. Even better, Peter didn't have his spider sense, so he's actually at an enormous disadvantage! I would have greatly enjoyed seeing Peter having to use his intelligence to solve the problem of the day, while constantly navigating the treacherous world that has erupted around him.
Instead, he has spider-fu, and is able to beat up everyone there. That is of course why people like Spider-Man: because he beats people up. Yes, I've heard that many a time.
All of which brings us to Amazing Spider-Man #700, wherein Doctor Octopus is in the body of Spider-Man and vice versa. Hardly the first time that a body swap has occurred between hero and villain, one could argue that the same trick was given us when the Chameleon had our hero chained up under a pot of acid or somesuch and went about AS Peter Parker. If memory serves, the Chameleon got away with that particular impersonation job, which is funny, because what usually happens with these stories is some other character sees through the charade and calls the villain out on it.
This time Slott is reacting to criticisms of his own story (I'm pretty sure it was Slott that wrote that bit with the Chameleon...): how do I keep the supporting cast members that know the main character so well, who live in a universe where body swaps happen and are therefore credulous enough to be on the lookout for them? Easy! I'll just give my body swapped characters all the memories of the other person.
Once more, Slott is trading away dramatic potential (Doc Ock in Spider-Man's body must now keep on his toes to avoid alerting Peter Parker's closest friends to the switch up, to say nothing of the Avengers or the Fantastic Four) for the sake of removing a problem that... wasn't a problem. I'm sure I've never lost sleep at night over the Chameleon's inability to know my innermost thoughts when he's stealing my life.
So Slott didn't want to do a straight body swap, he wanted to figurativlely sew Doc Ock's head onto Spider-Man's shoulder, complicatedly mish-mashing the characters together. All well and good, except for the infuriating part where he insists he's telling a body swap story. Doc Ock's body dies with all of Peter's and Ock's memories inside of it, but Peter's body lives with all of Peter's and Ock's memories inside of it. And yet we are told this is a body swap story, and that it is sad when "Peter" dies. I like how Octopus gloats about having all Peter's memories, and Peter has "all" of Ock's... excepting the part about how the mind copy-pasting was done. We'll just skim over that little problem, shall we?
This is actually a CLASSIC Marvel philosophical problem- what makes a person a person? Having the memories of a lifetime isn't apparently enough, since both Peter Parker and Ben Reilly get really messed up by the prospect of being a clone. Yes, the problem of feeling a kinship with friends and relatives who have never actually met you and already have "you" in their life is a juicy one... so why these comics feel the need to dwell on whether or not they deserve life or have a soul or not is sure confusing. Anyways.
Even though I greatly disagree with the assertion that what has happened in the story is a body swap, everything else that we're told by the writer, by the characters, everything we're directed to feel by the story is such that we are supposed to take this as a body swap. It's just like when you were little and playing action figures with some other kid, and you'd smash them together and the other kid would always declare himself the winner, despite the lack of reason behind that call. I win because. This is a body swap and now it's Ock Spider-Man because.
I say again, infuriating.
The actual flow of the main #700 story was quite well done up to the point where Peter-in-Ock's-body attempted to switch back with the little gold octobot. The action kept rising, both sides constantly countering the other in a "I know you know I know" sort of fashion. Despite the grittiness of it, the act of having Ock-in-Peter's-body punch off the Scorpion's jaw excellently illustrates why we root for Peter Parker, that we're on the side that controls that kind of power.
(It also, by the way, acts as the counter-argument to the need for a "Superior Spider-Man"- Spider-Man is already privy to such power that the act of improving him from a physicality standpoint is pointless. It also renders Doctor Octopus's condition as much less sympathetic. Before, it was framed such that the mean old Spider-Man had caused Octopus's state of being through the repeated body blows, but this points out Octopus was lucky to get out of even their first encounter with his head intact. To repeatedly antagonize Spider-Man becomes an act of stupidity on the Doctor's part.)
The turn around came, ignoring JJJ's slobbering over the Ock Spidey (this despite actively seeing Spider-Man be a menace with that jaw punching thing... sloppy characterization), when the gold octobot failed to switch back the "body swap".
From then on, it's all gobbledygook in the vein of Spider-Island. There's somehow a constant link, or something, between each characters minds (a fact that conveniently hadn't been brought up until now) and so Peter forces Octopus to REALLY relive some memories, thereby getting Octopus to see the error of his ways, and promising to be a good-ish Spider-Man. A Superior Spider-Man! One that will never fall for brain switching doodads! Then Peter-in-Ock's-body dies.
If we must take this story as a body swap, that it is indeed sad that Peter dies, then this story breaks the rules of good triumphing over evil. If this can happen, then when Thanos kills half the worlds population, there's no reason to think they'll be brought back to life by stories end. It's if the hero's journey, instead of a boy leaving his village for adventure and returning a conquering hero, it's the boy leaving and dying somewhere outside the village. No one really knows where, we never heard from him again, and we assume the worst.
If this wasn't really any kind of a body swap, like I've been talking about this whole time, that Peter Parker isn't really dead, then #700 is a story told under false pretenses that doesn't deserve any attention, and we've gone through all these hoops to try and mentally agree with this "body swap" idea for no reason.
The letters page has tributes to the character Spider-Man from various industry professionals. Some give touching accounts about, ultimately, the power of fiction to effect one's life, re-directing it's course forever, and then you have some joke tributes that cheapen the whole exercise.
The final letter in the book, from Kevin Tu, 13 years old, from Pennsylvania, tells us how these comics bridge time together. He's talking about the time Peter took a job at Tricorp, and how he ended up fired because he couldn't be reliable enough for the hours (thanks, Spider-Man!), and was hoping something similar didn't happen to Peter at Horizon labs. This is amazing to me. This kid was barely even alive when I was reading that Tricorp stuff, but look at him now, he's blazed through all the Amazing comics and is referencing Tricorp, the Clone Saga, other stuff that I've just now forgotten what he said... this is the power of a character like Peter Parker, a timelessness that lets people enjoy him in 1962, 1992, and 2012. One might even say that writing this character is a great responsibility.
Slott has dropped the ball on that responsiblity, aiming for a memorable run instead of maintaining the stewardship of the character. I've bought issues of Amazing Spider-Man since I was ten (I know, I'm surprised I was that old too, but I just checked the dates) and now, even if I wanted to, I can't anymore. What are the ten year olds of today to do?
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Toys for Christmas
Yesterday I made a stop off at Toys R Us to pick up a toy to donate this year. I didn't end up finding a readily accessible place to drop it off that evening, and didn't end up leaving the house today (someone was supposed to come over, but that didn't end up happening..).
I consoled myself with the thought that I'd be out and about Monday... but now I'm reading online that for most places the deadline is the 23rd, aka today. This is troubling.
Apparently fire stations (where they house people to put OUT fires, thankyouverymuch) will accept toy donations any day of the year, so I can drop this guy off, but I, and I really don't want to think this, may have missed out on this Christmas.
Among my options at Toys R Us, there were plenty of hardcore Spider-Man figures, thanks to this summers movie. No kid should be subjected to that. Iron Man is a complicated figure for a kid (though a hero nonetheless... I actually think I did a blog post here examining that difficulty.) Captain America is great, but a little country specific. Thor looks kind of scary.
Speaking of scary, the new figures for the latest Ninja Turtles cartoons are terrifying in how angry they make the turtles look. This from what is arguably the most cutesy incarnation of the group.
I ended up going with a decently priced box containing Batman and Joker figures.
It's more fun to have a villain to play off with.
Another option that I would have NEVER considered is the Green Arrow/Prometheus pairing.
You know what story has both Prometheus and Green Arrow together? The one where Prometheus kills Green Arrows adopted grand-daughter, whereupon Green Arrow hunts down and murders Prometheus.
To have these two in a fun little package together for kids is, yeah, obscene. What brain dead executive thought this was an appropriate pairing? What? Who?
At least Batman and Joker can laugh together. And more importantly, are in well written stories.
I consoled myself with the thought that I'd be out and about Monday... but now I'm reading online that for most places the deadline is the 23rd, aka today. This is troubling.
Apparently fire stations (where they house people to put OUT fires, thankyouverymuch) will accept toy donations any day of the year, so I can drop this guy off, but I, and I really don't want to think this, may have missed out on this Christmas.
Among my options at Toys R Us, there were plenty of hardcore Spider-Man figures, thanks to this summers movie. No kid should be subjected to that. Iron Man is a complicated figure for a kid (though a hero nonetheless... I actually think I did a blog post here examining that difficulty.) Captain America is great, but a little country specific. Thor looks kind of scary.
Speaking of scary, the new figures for the latest Ninja Turtles cartoons are terrifying in how angry they make the turtles look. This from what is arguably the most cutesy incarnation of the group.
I ended up going with a decently priced box containing Batman and Joker figures.
Another option that I would have NEVER considered is the Green Arrow/Prometheus pairing.
To have these two in a fun little package together for kids is, yeah, obscene. What brain dead executive thought this was an appropriate pairing? What? Who?
At least Batman and Joker can laugh together. And more importantly, are in well written stories.
Why I'll need to do something else. (Hint: It's for more money)
You know that thing where you bring up what had once been a sore spot months or years later and all the parties involved have a good laugh about it? That was attempted last night. Apparently I'm not able to laugh at it yet. Awkward.
(The night before- edit) Last night was highly weird.
Chiefly this was due to me having to be in upbeat party mood, when I had recieved my first paycheck for doing courier work and was let down. I thought I'd already lowballed what I might be getting (lowered expectations=never disappointed) but I, er, got to be surprised.
This is mitigated by three factors:
1. Due to getting the job on the Monday, I had only worked 4 of the 5 days that week.
2. The natural inefficiency that comes from having to do major guess work about where certain places are along a length of road.
3. My taking it relatively easy in getting to work, thereby starting late and reducing my earning potential.
For this past week problem 1 was eliminated, and problem 2 was greatly reduced. Unfortunately I was even worse about getting started in the morning. Adding that up will probably negate the benefit of having the extra week...
However, as a potential plus factor, there was no indication whether that first paycheck was on 50% or 65% commision. It was likely 50% because that's what you earn when you don't put in a full week. So unless they were REALLY generous about the fact that I obviously couldn't have worked that first Monday, then I'll get that boost with the following weeks cheque.
All together, I should be able to raise the amount to a suitable earning level, but most likely at the cost of some of the fun I was having with the job.
I took a short poll concerning whether my next venture should be getting the private investigators licence or taking the necessary course to become a personal trainer. Of the three people asked, the only definitive answer was in favour of the personal trainer option. I'll look into both sides in the meantime. Plus, there's no question that EVENTUALLY I'm getting the private investigators licence. It's too awesome a thing to not get.
In other news, "douce" is dictionary.com's word of the day, and it means sedate; modest; quiet.
Like some sleepy village out in the countryside.
It also sounds exactly like deuce. Crazy.
P.S.- I can sort of hear a difference, maybe. Still, in any kind of conversation it'd be all up to context.
(The night before- edit) Last night was highly weird.
Chiefly this was due to me having to be in upbeat party mood, when I had recieved my first paycheck for doing courier work and was let down. I thought I'd already lowballed what I might be getting (lowered expectations=never disappointed) but I, er, got to be surprised.
This is mitigated by three factors:
1. Due to getting the job on the Monday, I had only worked 4 of the 5 days that week.
2. The natural inefficiency that comes from having to do major guess work about where certain places are along a length of road.
3. My taking it relatively easy in getting to work, thereby starting late and reducing my earning potential.
For this past week problem 1 was eliminated, and problem 2 was greatly reduced. Unfortunately I was even worse about getting started in the morning. Adding that up will probably negate the benefit of having the extra week...
However, as a potential plus factor, there was no indication whether that first paycheck was on 50% or 65% commision. It was likely 50% because that's what you earn when you don't put in a full week. So unless they were REALLY generous about the fact that I obviously couldn't have worked that first Monday, then I'll get that boost with the following weeks cheque.
All together, I should be able to raise the amount to a suitable earning level, but most likely at the cost of some of the fun I was having with the job.
I took a short poll concerning whether my next venture should be getting the private investigators licence or taking the necessary course to become a personal trainer. Of the three people asked, the only definitive answer was in favour of the personal trainer option. I'll look into both sides in the meantime. Plus, there's no question that EVENTUALLY I'm getting the private investigators licence. It's too awesome a thing to not get.
In other news, "douce" is dictionary.com's word of the day, and it means sedate; modest; quiet.
Like some sleepy village out in the countryside.
It also sounds exactly like deuce. Crazy.
P.S.- I can sort of hear a difference, maybe. Still, in any kind of conversation it'd be all up to context.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Courier gig
Last week I started work as a courier. It's a job that I've dreamed of doing for a long time, and the fact that I'm actually doing it now is somewhat crazy. It makes me think maybe, just maybe, I can do a bunch of stuff that I want to do.
A friend of mine asked me about it, and here's what I had to say:
So here's the big thing. You get paid per package you deliver. The amount varies slightly depending on size of package, and probably whether it's a rush job or whatever. I don't know the exact numbers on that stuff because, well, I'm not a big money guy. I'm getting my first paycheck this friday, so even though I said I'm not a money guy, I have no choice but to be a little practical, so this check will really determine how long I can do this job.
As for how I'm liking it? I LOVE it! They've got the three courier types at this place, drivers, metropassers, and bikers, and as I've said before I'm metropassing it. I think the bikers have the best shot at raking in the dough, and if it wasn't on the verge of winter slushness I could probably see to trying it (honestly, I saw a bike almost get hit by a taxi today, and when that biker tells the story she'll be all "man, taxis are CRAZY" but from where I was sitting she almost drove into him). So I just walk around, and very often just smile that I get to be outside and walking around. My knees were pretty sore the first few days, but that seems to have died down, and I haven't had the energy to hit the gym afterwards since I started (which, I think you'll agree, is pretty understandable!) You can take a break whenever you need one, well, I assume. I mostly just chill out, eat my food and whatnot, whenever I have some unusually long subway distance to travel. Otherwise I try to plug along like a good, responsible, trooper.
The hardest part has actually been getting up in the mornings. Apparently even when you like what you do, you like your bed even more. So I keep hitting the snooze button WAY too much... and you know what they say when I drag myself over to yonge and bloor an hour late? Nothing! They don't seem to care! First time that's happened... but obviously I need to get there earlier to increase the ol' earning potential. In my defence, I haven't had to get up this early in well over a year, in fact it's basically the polar opposite schedule that I had been working (overnights... I actually went to bed at the sime time I'm getting up now).
My world just feels so much larger now. It's like I no longer have the urge to withdraw the maximum from my credit card and run away on the train for as far as it'd take me. You know, for now, anyways.
A friend of mine asked me about it, and here's what I had to say:
So here's the big thing. You get paid per package you deliver. The amount varies slightly depending on size of package, and probably whether it's a rush job or whatever. I don't know the exact numbers on that stuff because, well, I'm not a big money guy. I'm getting my first paycheck this friday, so even though I said I'm not a money guy, I have no choice but to be a little practical, so this check will really determine how long I can do this job.
As for how I'm liking it? I LOVE it! They've got the three courier types at this place, drivers, metropassers, and bikers, and as I've said before I'm metropassing it. I think the bikers have the best shot at raking in the dough, and if it wasn't on the verge of winter slushness I could probably see to trying it (honestly, I saw a bike almost get hit by a taxi today, and when that biker tells the story she'll be all "man, taxis are CRAZY" but from where I was sitting she almost drove into him). So I just walk around, and very often just smile that I get to be outside and walking around. My knees were pretty sore the first few days, but that seems to have died down, and I haven't had the energy to hit the gym afterwards since I started (which, I think you'll agree, is pretty understandable!) You can take a break whenever you need one, well, I assume. I mostly just chill out, eat my food and whatnot, whenever I have some unusually long subway distance to travel. Otherwise I try to plug along like a good, responsible, trooper.
The hardest part has actually been getting up in the mornings. Apparently even when you like what you do, you like your bed even more. So I keep hitting the snooze button WAY too much... and you know what they say when I drag myself over to yonge and bloor an hour late? Nothing! They don't seem to care! First time that's happened... but obviously I need to get there earlier to increase the ol' earning potential. In my defence, I haven't had to get up this early in well over a year, in fact it's basically the polar opposite schedule that I had been working (overnights... I actually went to bed at the sime time I'm getting up now).
My world just feels so much larger now. It's like I no longer have the urge to withdraw the maximum from my credit card and run away on the train for as far as it'd take me. You know, for now, anyways.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Name of the Wind
I asked a few friends of mine for some reading recommendations. The first I got was the Jeeves series of books by P.G. Wodehouse, the second was "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss.
Recommedations made, my reading order had been decided.
The Jeeves books I'll get into later (truthfully, I thought I'd already written about them), but right now I want to spew vitriol against The Name of the Wind (hereafter referred to as NW for short).
Full disclosure: I have very little interest in fantasy books. I recognize their essential similarity to my beloved super hero comics, and I'm even told fantasy books are folded under the speculative fiction umbrella. I personally define speculative fiction as "our world with a twist, an 'if only', a 'but this'- and that being the case fantasy books tend to require an exponential number of such twist/only/this's that I hardly think it's a fair comparison. But whatever.
Also important to note that, in consequence of my lack of interest, I haven't read much fantasy. I read The Lord of the Rings trilogy in grade 8 (my only accomplishment during my year of home schooling), and made a half-hearted attempt at the Silmarillion (I haven't touched the thing since). The Hobbit had been read to me by my mother, and that's the only reason I'm going to humour this first-of-an-unnecessary trilogy that's just come out... though I will certainly be waiting at least a month before I go see it. I've read all the Harry Potter series, some entries had been read to me, but the effect is near enough to the same thing. The Narnia books were also read to me.
That, I believe, is the extent of my fantasy knowledge, again, discounting more modern set "science" fantasy. If it has technobabble in place of magic, that's science fiction/fantasy, and I'm much better versed in it (Doctor Who, I'm looking at you). Star Wars certainly has fantasy elements... you know what, forget this disclaimer. I've got enough fantasy knowledge to stand by my problems with this NW book. Even if I didn't, I would certainly be able to discuss it through my more general literary/story-telling sensibilities.
The novel is by one Patrick Rothfuss, it's his first, and it's a monster at 662 pages. Page counts are impressive right? They sell, right? It seems to me rather an exercise in self importance to have this novel reach this page count with so little story actually taking place within its pages. It's mind boggling to me how little seems to have actually happened in this book, how little actual 'story' has actually taken place.
The first problem is that it's never been decided what the story for this novel is. Supposedly it's the coming of age of this character Kvothe, as told by an older Kvothe, now living in hiding at an inn, to a master storyteller or somesuch. There is some problem that needs to be faced in this present, but we're only given the barest of glimpses at it. Something around five or six such interludes that marginally suggest that there even is some mystery in the present-to-the-future. During the telling of Kvothe's backstory (i.e. the main narrative) they have various characters tell tales of the world's history or it's own maybe fiction. The stories within the story actually are the best, most satisfyingly constructed stories. They have a beginning, middle, and end. Strange though that may seem. Climax and denoument and whatnot.
There's actually an infuriating interlude near the end of the novel that makes my point for me. Kvothe says that he's just about finished the difficult work of constructing the ground work for his story. Well, to borrow Scarlett O'Hara's excellent catchphrase, Fiddle-dee-dee! No, you don't get to be a novel whose sole job is to set up for the sequel. Not at this size.
There is so much half formed in this book, the qualities of young Kvothe are those of any three (four?) protagonists for three separate novels. He is, among other things, a master musician, a student of medicine, and a student of a sort of magical blacksmithing. Again, among other things! Too many, in fact, that we never really get to EXPERIENCE any of them. We're told that he spends two hours a day in the medical, uh, faculty, learning and practicing that craft. We even meet a potential love interest/friend from the medical school. Or maybe she's an enemy. Or maybe she's... nope, she's nothing. She gets introduced, several hundred pages later she goes with Kvothe to treat another character (who didn't end up even needing any medical treatment..) with very little introduction and very little effect on the story (though this character, Auri, actually has LOADS more significance than this medical student girl). An efficient story-teller would have excised this medical stuff completely, or mentioned it only EVER in passing. To have, my best guess, 30-40 pages of the medical school stuff in a 662 page book is to have no effect on the story.
If this character becomes important in the later novels (of this "Kingkiller Chronicle Trilogy" only the second novel is even out yet, so there're no guarantees of anything) then I can understand the use of her. Understand, not excuse, because it still adds nothing to the actual story of this novel in my hands.
This is one instance of a systemic problem in the novel, one of a lack of focus. The lack of depth in the characters is astounding. Kvothe's best friends at the University are Wil and Simmon. Besides being privy to their introduction we don't get to SEE them become friends. We're just told that they are. Best friends, in fact. We're told some of their background, but it never has any baring on the story. They hardly even hang out together, but at least we know they're the best friends of the main character at this point in his life. Again, if they do something significant in the next novel, that's great for that novel, but it doesn't do any good here.
There's the girl from the library (Archives) who Kvothe met on or around his first day. She comes back later to play at the damsel in distress to get saved, as well as a sort of accomplice when Kvothe breaks into the archives. Those are two interesting parts, important to both this novel AND setting up for the next. She's probably in 40-50 pages (if we're lucky).
The character Denna is the actual love interest, and according to the Your Mileage May Vary section on tvtropes.org she's part of the novels "romantic plot tumour". She has a lot of pages devoted to her. A lot. And that's fine! She's important to the story... I think the hearing about all the times Kvothe went out looking for her was probably completely irrelevant and wasted space in the book. Denna has a vastly disproportionate amount of the story devoted to her, but all it does is make me question what these other women are doing popping up in the story at all. These are the main characters/leading ladies of entirely different novels, and it seems Rothfuss wanted to shove them all together for his opening act.
I would probably be more forgiving of all this if Kvothe, when telling the professional story teller who he's dictating his life story to, hadn't yelled at this storyteller/writer, asserting that Kvothe himself was a master storyteller born and raised with a travelling troupe of showmen and that if this guy writing everything down changed even a word of what he was being told... I forget if he threatened the guy or just threatened to tear up the story. Either way, it was crazy irritating at the time, and then when Kvothe goes on to tell this mish-mash of mental wandering. Pfeh!
The antagonism between Kvothe's equivalent Snape and Malfoy (the characters Hemme and Ambrose) is, once again, hardly touched on through the course of the book. They show up every couple hundred pages, do something villainous (or just plain spiteful, an act that therefore hardly needed recording) then exuent stage right. Neither one could really be called the villain of the piece. There ISN'T any villain to the novel. There are some villainous characters, some of which provide a problem for our hero, but nothing over arcing.
There's a very fun battle with a draccus (sort of a dragon thing) near the end of the book. I guess that's the climax. It just sort of appeared while some other mystery was busy not getting solved this novel.
The history of this world and the intricacy of the rules of its magics are both impressively thought out. No question about that. But the story...
And now, as a petty final jab, here's an excerpt from p.54:
"My father was a better actor and musician than any you have ever seen. My mother had a natural gift for words. They were both beautiful, with dark hair and easy laughter. They were Ruh down to their bones, and that, really, is all that needs to be said.
Save perhaps that my mother was a noble before she was a trouper. She told me... (the passage goes on.)"
So, uh, maybe save that "and that is all that needs to be said" stuff for when you're actually done saying stuff. You monster.
Recommedations made, my reading order had been decided.
The Jeeves books I'll get into later (truthfully, I thought I'd already written about them), but right now I want to spew vitriol against The Name of the Wind (hereafter referred to as NW for short).
Full disclosure: I have very little interest in fantasy books. I recognize their essential similarity to my beloved super hero comics, and I'm even told fantasy books are folded under the speculative fiction umbrella. I personally define speculative fiction as "our world with a twist, an 'if only', a 'but this'- and that being the case fantasy books tend to require an exponential number of such twist/only/this's that I hardly think it's a fair comparison. But whatever.
Also important to note that, in consequence of my lack of interest, I haven't read much fantasy. I read The Lord of the Rings trilogy in grade 8 (my only accomplishment during my year of home schooling), and made a half-hearted attempt at the Silmarillion (I haven't touched the thing since). The Hobbit had been read to me by my mother, and that's the only reason I'm going to humour this first-of-an-unnecessary trilogy that's just come out... though I will certainly be waiting at least a month before I go see it. I've read all the Harry Potter series, some entries had been read to me, but the effect is near enough to the same thing. The Narnia books were also read to me.
That, I believe, is the extent of my fantasy knowledge, again, discounting more modern set "science" fantasy. If it has technobabble in place of magic, that's science fiction/fantasy, and I'm much better versed in it (Doctor Who, I'm looking at you). Star Wars certainly has fantasy elements... you know what, forget this disclaimer. I've got enough fantasy knowledge to stand by my problems with this NW book. Even if I didn't, I would certainly be able to discuss it through my more general literary/story-telling sensibilities.
The novel is by one Patrick Rothfuss, it's his first, and it's a monster at 662 pages. Page counts are impressive right? They sell, right? It seems to me rather an exercise in self importance to have this novel reach this page count with so little story actually taking place within its pages. It's mind boggling to me how little seems to have actually happened in this book, how little actual 'story' has actually taken place.
The first problem is that it's never been decided what the story for this novel is. Supposedly it's the coming of age of this character Kvothe, as told by an older Kvothe, now living in hiding at an inn, to a master storyteller or somesuch. There is some problem that needs to be faced in this present, but we're only given the barest of glimpses at it. Something around five or six such interludes that marginally suggest that there even is some mystery in the present-to-the-future. During the telling of Kvothe's backstory (i.e. the main narrative) they have various characters tell tales of the world's history or it's own maybe fiction. The stories within the story actually are the best, most satisfyingly constructed stories. They have a beginning, middle, and end. Strange though that may seem. Climax and denoument and whatnot.
There's actually an infuriating interlude near the end of the novel that makes my point for me. Kvothe says that he's just about finished the difficult work of constructing the ground work for his story. Well, to borrow Scarlett O'Hara's excellent catchphrase, Fiddle-dee-dee! No, you don't get to be a novel whose sole job is to set up for the sequel. Not at this size.
There is so much half formed in this book, the qualities of young Kvothe are those of any three (four?) protagonists for three separate novels. He is, among other things, a master musician, a student of medicine, and a student of a sort of magical blacksmithing. Again, among other things! Too many, in fact, that we never really get to EXPERIENCE any of them. We're told that he spends two hours a day in the medical, uh, faculty, learning and practicing that craft. We even meet a potential love interest/friend from the medical school. Or maybe she's an enemy. Or maybe she's... nope, she's nothing. She gets introduced, several hundred pages later she goes with Kvothe to treat another character (who didn't end up even needing any medical treatment..) with very little introduction and very little effect on the story (though this character, Auri, actually has LOADS more significance than this medical student girl). An efficient story-teller would have excised this medical stuff completely, or mentioned it only EVER in passing. To have, my best guess, 30-40 pages of the medical school stuff in a 662 page book is to have no effect on the story.
If this character becomes important in the later novels (of this "Kingkiller Chronicle Trilogy" only the second novel is even out yet, so there're no guarantees of anything) then I can understand the use of her. Understand, not excuse, because it still adds nothing to the actual story of this novel in my hands.
This is one instance of a systemic problem in the novel, one of a lack of focus. The lack of depth in the characters is astounding. Kvothe's best friends at the University are Wil and Simmon. Besides being privy to their introduction we don't get to SEE them become friends. We're just told that they are. Best friends, in fact. We're told some of their background, but it never has any baring on the story. They hardly even hang out together, but at least we know they're the best friends of the main character at this point in his life. Again, if they do something significant in the next novel, that's great for that novel, but it doesn't do any good here.
There's the girl from the library (Archives) who Kvothe met on or around his first day. She comes back later to play at the damsel in distress to get saved, as well as a sort of accomplice when Kvothe breaks into the archives. Those are two interesting parts, important to both this novel AND setting up for the next. She's probably in 40-50 pages (if we're lucky).
The character Denna is the actual love interest, and according to the Your Mileage May Vary section on tvtropes.org she's part of the novels "romantic plot tumour". She has a lot of pages devoted to her. A lot. And that's fine! She's important to the story... I think the hearing about all the times Kvothe went out looking for her was probably completely irrelevant and wasted space in the book. Denna has a vastly disproportionate amount of the story devoted to her, but all it does is make me question what these other women are doing popping up in the story at all. These are the main characters/leading ladies of entirely different novels, and it seems Rothfuss wanted to shove them all together for his opening act.
I would probably be more forgiving of all this if Kvothe, when telling the professional story teller who he's dictating his life story to, hadn't yelled at this storyteller/writer, asserting that Kvothe himself was a master storyteller born and raised with a travelling troupe of showmen and that if this guy writing everything down changed even a word of what he was being told... I forget if he threatened the guy or just threatened to tear up the story. Either way, it was crazy irritating at the time, and then when Kvothe goes on to tell this mish-mash of mental wandering. Pfeh!
The antagonism between Kvothe's equivalent Snape and Malfoy (the characters Hemme and Ambrose) is, once again, hardly touched on through the course of the book. They show up every couple hundred pages, do something villainous (or just plain spiteful, an act that therefore hardly needed recording) then exuent stage right. Neither one could really be called the villain of the piece. There ISN'T any villain to the novel. There are some villainous characters, some of which provide a problem for our hero, but nothing over arcing.
There's a very fun battle with a draccus (sort of a dragon thing) near the end of the book. I guess that's the climax. It just sort of appeared while some other mystery was busy not getting solved this novel.
The history of this world and the intricacy of the rules of its magics are both impressively thought out. No question about that. But the story...
And now, as a petty final jab, here's an excerpt from p.54:
"My father was a better actor and musician than any you have ever seen. My mother had a natural gift for words. They were both beautiful, with dark hair and easy laughter. They were Ruh down to their bones, and that, really, is all that needs to be said.
Save perhaps that my mother was a noble before she was a trouper. She told me... (the passage goes on.)"
So, uh, maybe save that "and that is all that needs to be said" stuff for when you're actually done saying stuff. You monster.
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