Never been to the space channel website, but with their shows online, they are REALLY pushing this stupid "Fact or Fiction" show. It's basically Ghosthunters crossed with Mythbusters. So better than Ghosthunters.
Just watched the musical episode of "Todd and the Book of Pure Evil". Musical sequences make life worth living. True fact. (Also, as I'm contractually obligated to mention, I always say that. It's a saying of mine. Ask my brother, he'll confirm it.)
Reading through Chandler's short story collection "The Simple Art of Murder" hasn't always been the most fun. A disproportionate number of the stories have featured hotel "house dicks" (detectives) as the protagonist, which is a little lame for me. I guess I've only read the four stories so far, but still, two out of four protagonists. Wait... that's half!
This one story, however, had me quite electrified: "Pearls are a Nuisance" It's the only mystery that hasn't revolved around murder (which raises the question about why it was included in the collection "The Simple Art of Murder"), it's the only story where the protagonist truly feels unique compared to the other heroes, and the writing matched the tone of this character. It was quite a shift from the normal style, but I loved it.
The main character is a wordy intellectual, very wealthy, with a greater than normal penchant for whiskey- okay, so in that regard not too far off from the standard American detective. His verbosity is constantly commented on by the more straight talking, hard edged characters, but this guy, instead of playing it up like he's better than they are just cops to the fact that he can't help how he talks, that even he finds it strange. That perspective is refreshing as well.
He's not afraid to get his hands dirty with some fisticuffs (though he would lament any damage to his suit), but his partner/anagonist is so sturdily built that it's ridiculous how ineffective this guy is.
That's the other thing: this story was funny!
I was surprised how close it came to the detective characters I want to create, the tough guy trench coat wearing, wrangle a hornets nest and get the job done guy, and the prim and proper weaver of the intellectual tapestry that could figure it all out from an easy chair and a newspaper.
But working together! The ORIGINAL odd couple! (okay, not "original" odd couple... I should really look up who the original odd couple was... it was a show, right?)
Fortunately for me, the duo in this story turned out to be friendly enemies by the end, so at least I have that going for me, difference wise. But it really is a lot of fun, so check out "Pearls are a Nuisance".
Oh, but if you do read it and get to the part about how the main character didn't give out his private line, but got a call on it, make sure to check whether or not he gave Henry that number, or else this doesn't make sense. I didn't feel like checking it myself, but that's just because I was lazy.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Wow I freaked out
Unexpectedly, there's a doings transpiring. Terrible, terrible doings.
I got a wake up call today from a random guy at Iron Horse Security (it's not that random, that's the company I work for) asking me when my security licence expires. I said May 7, on my birthday.
It was brought to my attention that I did not have enough time to get my physically renewed licence before then, that there would be a period of time when I couldn't act as a security guard.
I thanked this guy for the information, then IMMEDIATELY DIALED THE NUMBER ON MY NOTICE OF EXTENSION MINISTRY OF WHATEVER.
So the woman who answered my call, I'm afraid I have to take great umbrage to. She told me that I'd have to hand in the full application for my security licence. In my agitated state, I assumed this meant retaking the training course, exam, and application process from when I first got my licence, with all the adjacent fees that went with it.
I asked "do I have to go through the FULL application?" which, in my head, meant the aforementioned 2-3 month process that I went through the first time, again, with all the costs.
Her answer: "Do I have to repeat myself? You must send in the full application." said with a close a tone as possible to the line "did I stutter?!?" without actually crossing that line.
I thanked her very politely for the information, hung up.
I proceed to wish I'd screamed obscenities at her, hit the wall, cry out, generally freak out. There's really only been a handul of times where I've ever lost my cool like this. Man.
A bare minute after I'm done throwing my tantrum I get a call from my (I guess) supervisor at Iron Horse, asking me about this licence business. I tell him the truth, the part that really burns me- I forgot to renew my licence earlier. Just- forgot it! That's like the one thing I had to do, and I didn't do it.
Having woken up this late, there's no time to stop at the Ministry of Magic to renew my licence today. That'll be a first thing in the morning job.
Here's how this is likely to play out: though it sounded like I had to do the rigamarole of my original licencing process, the phone operator probably just meant I needed to do the full REGULAR annual licence renewal application. So when I go down to the offices tomorrow and pay the renewal fee ($70 or thereabouts), they may issue a temporary licence until the new one comes in the mail, and I'm good to go. I'll swing by the Iron Horse offices to let them know things are good, and I'll pick up some new work pants while I'm out. That's the best case scenario.
Alternatively, and more likely, I pay the fine, and have to wait out the physical card being mailed to me. That leaves me with an enforced three weeks to a month off work. When I have my licence again I may or may not be able to return to my current staffing position at the condo. This kind of change could be a good thing, and I have just been working for a year straight- I could actually use a bit of vacation.
Least likely, but also possible: there was no misunderstanding between me and that phone operator, I DO have to go through the whole several hundred dollar process of getting a new licence, and will have to find a new job after that. <- that's the option that had me freaking out.
Okay, just got another call from my supervisor, making it sound more and more like that first option is what's going to happen. So we'll see how it goes.
Less earth shattering post to come tonight for the sake of quota.
I got a wake up call today from a random guy at Iron Horse Security (it's not that random, that's the company I work for) asking me when my security licence expires. I said May 7, on my birthday.
It was brought to my attention that I did not have enough time to get my physically renewed licence before then, that there would be a period of time when I couldn't act as a security guard.
I thanked this guy for the information, then IMMEDIATELY DIALED THE NUMBER ON MY NOTICE OF EXTENSION MINISTRY OF WHATEVER.
So the woman who answered my call, I'm afraid I have to take great umbrage to. She told me that I'd have to hand in the full application for my security licence. In my agitated state, I assumed this meant retaking the training course, exam, and application process from when I first got my licence, with all the adjacent fees that went with it.
I asked "do I have to go through the FULL application?" which, in my head, meant the aforementioned 2-3 month process that I went through the first time, again, with all the costs.
Her answer: "Do I have to repeat myself? You must send in the full application." said with a close a tone as possible to the line "did I stutter?!?" without actually crossing that line.
I thanked her very politely for the information, hung up.
I proceed to wish I'd screamed obscenities at her, hit the wall, cry out, generally freak out. There's really only been a handul of times where I've ever lost my cool like this. Man.
A bare minute after I'm done throwing my tantrum I get a call from my (I guess) supervisor at Iron Horse, asking me about this licence business. I tell him the truth, the part that really burns me- I forgot to renew my licence earlier. Just- forgot it! That's like the one thing I had to do, and I didn't do it.
Having woken up this late, there's no time to stop at the Ministry of Magic to renew my licence today. That'll be a first thing in the morning job.
Here's how this is likely to play out: though it sounded like I had to do the rigamarole of my original licencing process, the phone operator probably just meant I needed to do the full REGULAR annual licence renewal application. So when I go down to the offices tomorrow and pay the renewal fee ($70 or thereabouts), they may issue a temporary licence until the new one comes in the mail, and I'm good to go. I'll swing by the Iron Horse offices to let them know things are good, and I'll pick up some new work pants while I'm out. That's the best case scenario.
Alternatively, and more likely, I pay the fine, and have to wait out the physical card being mailed to me. That leaves me with an enforced three weeks to a month off work. When I have my licence again I may or may not be able to return to my current staffing position at the condo. This kind of change could be a good thing, and I have just been working for a year straight- I could actually use a bit of vacation.
Least likely, but also possible: there was no misunderstanding between me and that phone operator, I DO have to go through the whole several hundred dollar process of getting a new licence, and will have to find a new job after that. <- that's the option that had me freaking out.
Okay, just got another call from my supervisor, making it sound more and more like that first option is what's going to happen. So we'll see how it goes.
Less earth shattering post to come tonight for the sake of quota.
A bit of Swiftian description.
Quick health update: getting better, last night was definitely the worst of it.
I wasn't able to write this second post last evening (had work to do), but that's okay! I'll right this one now, another when I get up, and a final entry sometime before midnight. This is definitely the most I've ever cheated going into another month- my rule is I don't like to post more than once a day... or at least that WAS the rule, it'd be hard to assert that now!
I wanted to work on a description of this one girl from the subway I found interesting yesterday- which is another plus to having two more posts up so soon after this one, it'll bury this and maybe I won't appear to be some creepy guy that stares at people.
I clearly am a creepy guy that stares at people, but at least I won't appear as such.
I suppose I should start by saying she was asian; if I had to guess I'd say chinese... but given my track record that probably means she's anything but chinese.
Her most striking feature were her lips, large and full, I'd guess about twice the size of an average pair.
She had straight, shoulder length dark hair, with the bangs cut (that's such an odd word for a bit of hair design, "bangs" I feel like I've got the info wrong on this one..) and parted on the right, with a hair clip (love those) holding together a curtain draped along the left side of her face.
She had a thin line of light purple eye shadow, usually only noticable when she half closed her eyes, which she did fairly often. She seemed unfocused in that way, so I wonder if she was tired. She had earbuds in, a long dark coloured cord snaked out from under her hair, below her bag and into her pocket. This stood out for me because of how long it actually took me to notice she had them in, and then it seemed like such a glaring oversight on my part. You also see white earbuds/cords so often because of the ubiquity of Apple products that a black cord is notable.
She had a dark brown fur trimming at the top of her coat- or else it was a scarf, I wasn't able to figure that out for sure. (I feel like I started out thinking it was a bomber jacket then grew to suspect the scarf option.. but it's been a while, maybe the opposite is what I thought).
All of her clothes had a brown-orange colour to them. Her bag sat on her lap, a large buckle attached to the carrying cord. Her shoes were especially interesting, like workmans boots, but really small, pointed slightly inward, and with a scuff or scrape of white over the right foots big toe. I feel like there's a story behind that scuff mark- really it's that mark that made me want to catalogue this girl.
Her pants, more orange than brown, but still on that spectrum, had these fantastic half inch long white stiches following the inside of her pockets to halfway down her thigh and then curving down and around her leg. Possibly they just contoured the pockets themselves, but the marks felt more stylized than functional. This single element popped off of her ensemble. I should hope a fashion writer would be enthused by them.
She had a ring on each pinky finger. Both silver coloured, the right handed one looked like like a key ring made to fit, with a groove in the middle separating the corkscrewed halves of itself. Uh, then again, I may be crazy and she just had two really thin rings. Either way, the left handed ring was thicker, with the beginnings of a wave to it as it sloped around the finger. You could tell there was some design on it, I just couldn't see it because it was the hand furtherest away from me, often obscured by her bag.
She was slouched into her seat, but not into herself. That feels like a tricky thing to do, I'm not sure. Needs more study.
She coughed a couple of times, a quick and quiet cough, restrained and timid, but I didn't get the impression that she herself was especially timid. Maybe she was simply too tired to cough with gusto.
That should do it for my recollections. They aren't very poetical (no "her lips were like..." uh, somethings. I don't know.) I didn't want to project much of a narrative onto her, what with her being an actual person and not a creation of my own imagination. Or maybe it's that nothing came to me. I was more just trying to itemize things. See what words came readily to me or not.
For example, "orange-brown". Not very helpful. I guy with a firmer grasp of colour palette could've maybe said "chestnut" or "oak" or whatever, and I COULD have said that, but I'd be faking it after hearing a few bars hummed. It's no good using cliched descriptors if you don't know what they mean yourself, how is anybody else supposed to know?
Ugh- this from a guy that said an article of her clothing "popped". I'm an idiot.
I wasn't able to write this second post last evening (had work to do), but that's okay! I'll right this one now, another when I get up, and a final entry sometime before midnight. This is definitely the most I've ever cheated going into another month- my rule is I don't like to post more than once a day... or at least that WAS the rule, it'd be hard to assert that now!
I wanted to work on a description of this one girl from the subway I found interesting yesterday- which is another plus to having two more posts up so soon after this one, it'll bury this and maybe I won't appear to be some creepy guy that stares at people.
I clearly am a creepy guy that stares at people, but at least I won't appear as such.
I suppose I should start by saying she was asian; if I had to guess I'd say chinese... but given my track record that probably means she's anything but chinese.
Her most striking feature were her lips, large and full, I'd guess about twice the size of an average pair.
She had straight, shoulder length dark hair, with the bangs cut (that's such an odd word for a bit of hair design, "bangs" I feel like I've got the info wrong on this one..) and parted on the right, with a hair clip (love those) holding together a curtain draped along the left side of her face.
She had a thin line of light purple eye shadow, usually only noticable when she half closed her eyes, which she did fairly often. She seemed unfocused in that way, so I wonder if she was tired. She had earbuds in, a long dark coloured cord snaked out from under her hair, below her bag and into her pocket. This stood out for me because of how long it actually took me to notice she had them in, and then it seemed like such a glaring oversight on my part. You also see white earbuds/cords so often because of the ubiquity of Apple products that a black cord is notable.
She had a dark brown fur trimming at the top of her coat- or else it was a scarf, I wasn't able to figure that out for sure. (I feel like I started out thinking it was a bomber jacket then grew to suspect the scarf option.. but it's been a while, maybe the opposite is what I thought).
All of her clothes had a brown-orange colour to them. Her bag sat on her lap, a large buckle attached to the carrying cord. Her shoes were especially interesting, like workmans boots, but really small, pointed slightly inward, and with a scuff or scrape of white over the right foots big toe. I feel like there's a story behind that scuff mark- really it's that mark that made me want to catalogue this girl.
Her pants, more orange than brown, but still on that spectrum, had these fantastic half inch long white stiches following the inside of her pockets to halfway down her thigh and then curving down and around her leg. Possibly they just contoured the pockets themselves, but the marks felt more stylized than functional. This single element popped off of her ensemble. I should hope a fashion writer would be enthused by them.
She had a ring on each pinky finger. Both silver coloured, the right handed one looked like like a key ring made to fit, with a groove in the middle separating the corkscrewed halves of itself. Uh, then again, I may be crazy and she just had two really thin rings. Either way, the left handed ring was thicker, with the beginnings of a wave to it as it sloped around the finger. You could tell there was some design on it, I just couldn't see it because it was the hand furtherest away from me, often obscured by her bag.
She was slouched into her seat, but not into herself. That feels like a tricky thing to do, I'm not sure. Needs more study.
She coughed a couple of times, a quick and quiet cough, restrained and timid, but I didn't get the impression that she herself was especially timid. Maybe she was simply too tired to cough with gusto.
That should do it for my recollections. They aren't very poetical (no "her lips were like..." uh, somethings. I don't know.) I didn't want to project much of a narrative onto her, what with her being an actual person and not a creation of my own imagination. Or maybe it's that nothing came to me. I was more just trying to itemize things. See what words came readily to me or not.
For example, "orange-brown". Not very helpful. I guy with a firmer grasp of colour palette could've maybe said "chestnut" or "oak" or whatever, and I COULD have said that, but I'd be faking it after hearing a few bars hummed. It's no good using cliched descriptors if you don't know what they mean yourself, how is anybody else supposed to know?
Ugh- this from a guy that said an article of her clothing "popped". I'm an idiot.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Cabin in the Woods
I feel way worse today. The throat seems to be doing okay, but I'm congested as all get out. My nose has been running like mad, and directly under my nose I've got the whole "dry under-nose from too much nose blowing". It's basically terrible.
Okay, I promised Cabin, you're getting Cabin. Specifically, I promised SPOILERS!! Yay!
So the reviews all make it sound like the spoiler/mystery is the fact that it isn't a straight horror movie, that those lab coated dudes that, again, these reviews have mentioned, are manipulating a horror movie style scenario into existence for the sake of SCIENCE!
However it's alluded to very early in the film (wait, was there a painting at the beginning beginning with a picture of some ritualistic slaughter?) that the process is a modern day sacrifice. The line "remember when you could just throw a virgin into a volcano?" connects the dots for us pretty quickly.
Possibly supposed to surprise us is the idea that if these sacrifices don't go off (and there are several compounds around the world conducting similar culture specific sacrifices for the sake of making sure that at least one does work) the world ends.
Or rather, some old gods under the Earth will grow unsatisfied and rise from their slumber, wiping out all of mankind in the process.
Again, if you've ever watched any Buffy or Angel, any Whedon style supernatural story, the end of the world as a possibility comes up quite often.
So it's supposed to be shocking that, in this movie, the heroes winning (i.e. staying alive) means the end of the world, and that's what happens.
But as a cool allegory for the horror film industry I find it way more interesting. The gorey McMurder stuff is the standard Hollywood horror movie, the scientists are the writers and directors creating this stuff to appease the "old gods", and the old gods are the audience, and when no horror movies grab onto our imagination, when they all fail, that's the end of the world. The Hollywood Horror machine grinds to a halt. In that case the ending is a wink to itself, suggesting that for any critics that disliked the film, you're making it true.
I like it even better as a meta look at just this singular movie on its own: the old gods are still us audience members, which means that regardless of whether or not the sacrifice gets successfully completed, the movie is going to end, and we'll walk away from the theatre, thus ending the world before us. Saving the world was guaranteed to fail! That means there was something about the process of the sacrifices that the scientist guys didn't know or understand- most likely the ephemeral quality of their world, a world that hadn't existed for billions of years as they thought, but only a few minutes.
I'm making the movie sound like it isn't incredibly fun and inventive- I should probably be using more exclamation marks!!!! I really did have a blast at this thing.
Okay, I promised Cabin, you're getting Cabin. Specifically, I promised SPOILERS!! Yay!
So the reviews all make it sound like the spoiler/mystery is the fact that it isn't a straight horror movie, that those lab coated dudes that, again, these reviews have mentioned, are manipulating a horror movie style scenario into existence for the sake of SCIENCE!
However it's alluded to very early in the film (wait, was there a painting at the beginning beginning with a picture of some ritualistic slaughter?) that the process is a modern day sacrifice. The line "remember when you could just throw a virgin into a volcano?" connects the dots for us pretty quickly.
Possibly supposed to surprise us is the idea that if these sacrifices don't go off (and there are several compounds around the world conducting similar culture specific sacrifices for the sake of making sure that at least one does work) the world ends.
Or rather, some old gods under the Earth will grow unsatisfied and rise from their slumber, wiping out all of mankind in the process.
Again, if you've ever watched any Buffy or Angel, any Whedon style supernatural story, the end of the world as a possibility comes up quite often.
So it's supposed to be shocking that, in this movie, the heroes winning (i.e. staying alive) means the end of the world, and that's what happens.
But as a cool allegory for the horror film industry I find it way more interesting. The gorey McMurder stuff is the standard Hollywood horror movie, the scientists are the writers and directors creating this stuff to appease the "old gods", and the old gods are the audience, and when no horror movies grab onto our imagination, when they all fail, that's the end of the world. The Hollywood Horror machine grinds to a halt. In that case the ending is a wink to itself, suggesting that for any critics that disliked the film, you're making it true.
I like it even better as a meta look at just this singular movie on its own: the old gods are still us audience members, which means that regardless of whether or not the sacrifice gets successfully completed, the movie is going to end, and we'll walk away from the theatre, thus ending the world before us. Saving the world was guaranteed to fail! That means there was something about the process of the sacrifices that the scientist guys didn't know or understand- most likely the ephemeral quality of their world, a world that hadn't existed for billions of years as they thought, but only a few minutes.
I'm making the movie sound like it isn't incredibly fun and inventive- I should probably be using more exclamation marks!!!! I really did have a blast at this thing.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Just Jump Street, Cabin tomorrow
I'm slightly sick again. I've been working through a sort of sore throat for a few days now, losenges, vitamin C chewable tablets, and breathing in this spray that relieves ones sore throat. Of course you aren't supposed to actually breathe it in, just spray it in. I'm a bad sprayer, whaddya want?
My throat's now more irritating than anything else, but that may be the tea talking. We'll see if it gets worse or whatever. My nose is running now, that's new.
Anyways, forget all that- last Wednesday evening I went to see 21 Jump Street followed by The Cabin in the Woods.
Major Spoilers to follow.
Seriously, I'm going to tell you everything about what happens in these movies. If you don't want to know the details of Johnny Depp's cameo in Jump street, turn away. If you don't want to know what the fuss about Cabin in the Woods is all about then power down the computer and go for a walk or something. Or, wait, yeah, go see the movies. That really is the thing to do if you don't want to be spoiled about them.
I can't help but wonder how accessible movies are. Or any media really. I have to do a lot of decoding of these american detective stories; they're done in a quick, crisp tone, no explanations. More of that Hemmingway influence. Was that last line a figure of speech, or something to be taken literally? I often have to try it both ways to see what works, something that the novels contemporaries wouldn't have had to do.
I mention this because of how referential Jump Street and Cabin are. (Similarly, I've started watching Wayne's World the other day- got busy and didn't finish- and there were plenty of gags that I could only smile ruefully over, sure that these whippersnappers running around today, the 90'S KIDS wouldn't have a clue if they saw it. When have they ever seen a Grey Poupon commercial. Then again, I can't be too far behind them, I have no clue if I spelled that right just now..)
In one scene it was commented on that Jonah Hill's character's character "Doug" (remember the whole undercover thing about Jump Street? You do?! Then you're already doing quite well, since I didn't explain that to you. You've clearly come to this blog with quite a bit of information already with which you can decode what I'm saying) had done something odd in calling this girl from school instead of texting. The gag is that this slightly older generation existed before texting- Community's pulled this one, too- how long do you think it'll be before the powers that be in Hollywood decide us pre-texters are no longer worthy of courting for our dollar? Eh, we'll see what happens.
Anyways: I LOVED 21 Jump Street. As I had straight up said in a "Facebook status" (remember those? "Facebook" was a social media platform where people most often posted inane things about themselves*) this movie made me laugh more than any other that I could remember. It definitely blew me away.
*this note, obviously, is for the people of the future who needed a little bit more context. Presuming there's no large scale electromagnetic pulse that wipes every computer clean on the planet. Which there almost certainly will be. That's my pet theory anyways.
The movie wasn't especially crude, discounting foul language which rolls off my back and regardless makes me laugh. I mean there was no guy taking a dump in a cooler of beer crude (I'm looking at you American Reunion. Ah, don't feel bad, you were sweet enough in your own way).
The movie liked to poke fun at cop show conventions: angry captain, handsome dumb guy, smart loser, and ESPECIALLY explosions (!!!)
The run down of the character arc is this: Dumb guy is popular in high school, smart guy is not. They both become cops, symbiotically making up for the physical and mental weaknesses of the other as partners and friends. However they're both immature screw-ups that get relegated to the Jump Street division where they go undercover as high school students to ferret out a drug operation. Fearing (or looking forward to) the old high school dynamic, the characters are pleased (or really frustrated) to discover that the kids today are slightly different. What made the dumb guy popular in high school (single strapping a back pack, driving a cool gas guzzler, and not caring about things) is now out, double strapping is back in, so the roles actually become reversed! Cool guy sucks, loser is cool, up is down, black is white, dogs and cats, living together!
(I don't seem to ever get tired of that Ghostbusters quote)
Feelings are hurt- it seems that popularity breeds an inconsiderate nature- but eventually they make amends to solve the mystery and save the day. Vigilante style! (Of COURSE they were fired during the course of the movie)
Soon after the characters start fighting, but before they make up, "Brad" (Tatum's character's character) tells "Doug" that he'd have "taken a bullet for him, man."
Not long after this point I decided that it would make sense for "Doug" to take a bullet for "Brad" thus cementing their friendship, all debts cancelled. It would definitely make up for the jerk "Doug" is during their time back in high school.
But get this, during the last scene, it's the two guys facing off against the bad guy, "Brad" has run out of ammo, the bad guy raises his gun... and points it at "Doug"! And then "Brad" leaps in front, taking the bullet just like he said he would! What I thought would happen, happened, except the complete opposite.
This disappointed me because I prefer being right.
I suppose it's possible that "Brad" needed to prove that he really would take that bullet, ameliorating (way to shoot for the moon, Isaac. You'd better spell check that one! Maybe look up the definition too.*) him of his original high school tyranny. However we didn't spend an entire movie seeing him be terrible all through high school, we spent an entire movie seeing this guy get humiliated in high school (granted the one female teacher wanted to jump his bones- and if the quick scene during the credits is any indication, she did. I have to wonder about the timeline on that one.. did that scene come after the adventure, or is it a sort of deleted moment from earlier? Whatever.). The writers expect us to side with the Jonah Hill character I guess? But two wrongs don't make a right, writers**!
*I did! It was good enough! (I wrote this asterix before checking it out, assuming it would be right. FYI, I did spell it wrong, added an extra 'm', also, "ameliorate" basically means to improve, which is totally wrong for this sentence. I really needed some word for "wiping the slate clean". Like "forgiving" or something..)
**Right writers. Write righters. Write riders. Ghost riders in the sky...
Right, the Johnny Depp cameo. I've already gone too long without those promised spoilers! (also, forget Cabin in the Woods, I'll do that for tomorrow)
So it turns out the Jump Street undercover operation is interferring with the another undercover operation. When the main characters are about to get executed, the two gang members that are about to do it reluctantly reveal themselves to ALSO be cops: Johnny Depp and some other guy, apparently both from the original 21 Jump Street show. They promptly get gunned down in a hail of bullets, but are alive enough for a tearful apology to each other about how they should have treated each other better and not gotten so hung up on being popular in their undercover identities... a speech that "Doug" hears and obviously takes to heart.
Whew, man, I almost didn't get to spoil that! Take that as a lesson kids- with a little hard work and dilligence, you can spoil anything if you really want to.
My throat's now more irritating than anything else, but that may be the tea talking. We'll see if it gets worse or whatever. My nose is running now, that's new.
Anyways, forget all that- last Wednesday evening I went to see 21 Jump Street followed by The Cabin in the Woods.
Major Spoilers to follow.
Seriously, I'm going to tell you everything about what happens in these movies. If you don't want to know the details of Johnny Depp's cameo in Jump street, turn away. If you don't want to know what the fuss about Cabin in the Woods is all about then power down the computer and go for a walk or something. Or, wait, yeah, go see the movies. That really is the thing to do if you don't want to be spoiled about them.
I can't help but wonder how accessible movies are. Or any media really. I have to do a lot of decoding of these american detective stories; they're done in a quick, crisp tone, no explanations. More of that Hemmingway influence. Was that last line a figure of speech, or something to be taken literally? I often have to try it both ways to see what works, something that the novels contemporaries wouldn't have had to do.
I mention this because of how referential Jump Street and Cabin are. (Similarly, I've started watching Wayne's World the other day- got busy and didn't finish- and there were plenty of gags that I could only smile ruefully over, sure that these whippersnappers running around today, the 90'S KIDS wouldn't have a clue if they saw it. When have they ever seen a Grey Poupon commercial. Then again, I can't be too far behind them, I have no clue if I spelled that right just now..)
In one scene it was commented on that Jonah Hill's character's character "Doug" (remember the whole undercover thing about Jump Street? You do?! Then you're already doing quite well, since I didn't explain that to you. You've clearly come to this blog with quite a bit of information already with which you can decode what I'm saying) had done something odd in calling this girl from school instead of texting. The gag is that this slightly older generation existed before texting- Community's pulled this one, too- how long do you think it'll be before the powers that be in Hollywood decide us pre-texters are no longer worthy of courting for our dollar? Eh, we'll see what happens.
Anyways: I LOVED 21 Jump Street. As I had straight up said in a "Facebook status" (remember those? "Facebook" was a social media platform where people most often posted inane things about themselves*) this movie made me laugh more than any other that I could remember. It definitely blew me away.
*this note, obviously, is for the people of the future who needed a little bit more context. Presuming there's no large scale electromagnetic pulse that wipes every computer clean on the planet. Which there almost certainly will be. That's my pet theory anyways.
The movie wasn't especially crude, discounting foul language which rolls off my back and regardless makes me laugh. I mean there was no guy taking a dump in a cooler of beer crude (I'm looking at you American Reunion. Ah, don't feel bad, you were sweet enough in your own way).
The movie liked to poke fun at cop show conventions: angry captain, handsome dumb guy, smart loser, and ESPECIALLY explosions (!!!)
The run down of the character arc is this: Dumb guy is popular in high school, smart guy is not. They both become cops, symbiotically making up for the physical and mental weaknesses of the other as partners and friends. However they're both immature screw-ups that get relegated to the Jump Street division where they go undercover as high school students to ferret out a drug operation. Fearing (or looking forward to) the old high school dynamic, the characters are pleased (or really frustrated) to discover that the kids today are slightly different. What made the dumb guy popular in high school (single strapping a back pack, driving a cool gas guzzler, and not caring about things) is now out, double strapping is back in, so the roles actually become reversed! Cool guy sucks, loser is cool, up is down, black is white, dogs and cats, living together!
(I don't seem to ever get tired of that Ghostbusters quote)
Feelings are hurt- it seems that popularity breeds an inconsiderate nature- but eventually they make amends to solve the mystery and save the day. Vigilante style! (Of COURSE they were fired during the course of the movie)
Soon after the characters start fighting, but before they make up, "Brad" (Tatum's character's character) tells "Doug" that he'd have "taken a bullet for him, man."
Not long after this point I decided that it would make sense for "Doug" to take a bullet for "Brad" thus cementing their friendship, all debts cancelled. It would definitely make up for the jerk "Doug" is during their time back in high school.
But get this, during the last scene, it's the two guys facing off against the bad guy, "Brad" has run out of ammo, the bad guy raises his gun... and points it at "Doug"! And then "Brad" leaps in front, taking the bullet just like he said he would! What I thought would happen, happened, except the complete opposite.
This disappointed me because I prefer being right.
I suppose it's possible that "Brad" needed to prove that he really would take that bullet, ameliorating (way to shoot for the moon, Isaac. You'd better spell check that one! Maybe look up the definition too.*) him of his original high school tyranny. However we didn't spend an entire movie seeing him be terrible all through high school, we spent an entire movie seeing this guy get humiliated in high school (granted the one female teacher wanted to jump his bones- and if the quick scene during the credits is any indication, she did. I have to wonder about the timeline on that one.. did that scene come after the adventure, or is it a sort of deleted moment from earlier? Whatever.). The writers expect us to side with the Jonah Hill character I guess? But two wrongs don't make a right, writers**!
*I did! It was good enough! (I wrote this asterix before checking it out, assuming it would be right. FYI, I did spell it wrong, added an extra 'm', also, "ameliorate" basically means to improve, which is totally wrong for this sentence. I really needed some word for "wiping the slate clean". Like "forgiving" or something..)
**Right writers. Write righters. Write riders. Ghost riders in the sky...
Right, the Johnny Depp cameo. I've already gone too long without those promised spoilers! (also, forget Cabin in the Woods, I'll do that for tomorrow)
So it turns out the Jump Street undercover operation is interferring with the another undercover operation. When the main characters are about to get executed, the two gang members that are about to do it reluctantly reveal themselves to ALSO be cops: Johnny Depp and some other guy, apparently both from the original 21 Jump Street show. They promptly get gunned down in a hail of bullets, but are alive enough for a tearful apology to each other about how they should have treated each other better and not gotten so hung up on being popular in their undercover identities... a speech that "Doug" hears and obviously takes to heart.
Whew, man, I almost didn't get to spoil that! Take that as a lesson kids- with a little hard work and dilligence, you can spoil anything if you really want to.
"Blow to World Peace"
So I'm walking and I'm not feeling that great (everyone's at least a little sick around now). I spit down into a storm drain. This makes me thinking about things falling down there that you don't want to lose. For example, a super-ball (small bouncy ball). This gets me thinking about hurling a super-ball at the ground to make it go as high as possible. This gets me thinking about how any throw I make will inevitably be at too much of an angle, limiting its max height. And THIS gets me thinking about some ball launching device that aims the ball straight at the ground then opens up enough for the ball to bounce back up and through to the air. I follow the imaginary trajectory (sp?) of the ball up, and stop at a bright heavenly body in the sky. For a second I convinced myself that there was my ball hanging up before me.
Just an odd coincidence.
Okay, so you have to hear about this! So there's this basketball player that legally changed his name to "Metta World Peace" (Metta is apparently a Buddhist term for "love and kindness to all") to sort of combat his reputation as the new Dennis Rodman. Apparently he's been doing a pretty good job, until he slashed his elbow at a guy. He says he was celebrating a basket and it was an accident, but even World Peace acknowledges that it looks really bad on camera.
His first name was Ron Artest. I say first, even though the temptation is to say "real name". But he legally changed his name, this isn't some secret identity, or stage persona, right? But the thing is, this paper in front of me still tells me the guys first name, so really, CAN one change ones name? Esepecially for a public figure, your story follows you wherever you go.
I think this is interesting.
Plus, I mean, come on: World Peace gets in trouble for violence. World Peace gets an 86-game suspension for instigating a brawl in 2004. That last one is also real, though it may have happened before the guy changed his name.
Just an odd coincidence.
Okay, so you have to hear about this! So there's this basketball player that legally changed his name to "Metta World Peace" (Metta is apparently a Buddhist term for "love and kindness to all") to sort of combat his reputation as the new Dennis Rodman. Apparently he's been doing a pretty good job, until he slashed his elbow at a guy. He says he was celebrating a basket and it was an accident, but even World Peace acknowledges that it looks really bad on camera.
His first name was Ron Artest. I say first, even though the temptation is to say "real name". But he legally changed his name, this isn't some secret identity, or stage persona, right? But the thing is, this paper in front of me still tells me the guys first name, so really, CAN one change ones name? Esepecially for a public figure, your story follows you wherever you go.
I think this is interesting.
Plus, I mean, come on: World Peace gets in trouble for violence. World Peace gets an 86-game suspension for instigating a brawl in 2004. That last one is also real, though it may have happened before the guy changed his name.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
My wrist rather hurts from typing.
I've already finished my blog post for Finding Forrester, but I'll continue on a bit now so I've got two things to go up today.
I haven't yet read the article, but the front page of the Star tells me that despite all the expectations from pundits the Alberta PC's have won a majority, the reins of power having NOT been passed on to the alarming Wildrose party. I'm actually quite relieved, I thought for sure the politics of sensationalism would triumph and another nail would be hammered into "my Canada" (the thing Justin Trudeau is so nuts over- and I don't blame him!).
Patriotism is a weird thing. A weird, terrible thing.
I haven't written a proper comic review in a month now, breaking my 5 or 6 year streak. It's shaken my identity to have lost that thing. But only to a point, thankfully I'm still holding on to that "love yourself" message from last week.
For the sake of my sanity I may do a series of one issue per week reviews to catch up- but that still doesn't solve the problem of the web site being all wonky. Not that I've had the heart/interest to see what's what, whether or not it's gotten any better.
It wouldn't be too surprising to think I've burned myself out on reviews, I tended to do far too many to get out in a proper time frame, and my schedule doesn't care much for extra curriculars as it is.
I had a strong desire to send a message to a high school friend and see if he'd be available to teach me some drumming. That desire hasn't particularly gone away, but I know it'd be nearly impossible to cram that in.
I need to travel up to York to start to settle debts, but nothing is quite open when I'm finished work, and things are quite closed when I wake up again. At least that's true for banks.
I know, I know, "waaah waaah, somebody call the waaambulance."
At least I've saved enough to feel confident in approaching the guys. Anyways, I've got some report writing to do, and I have to make the trip home, and I've already alluded to my wrist hurting. So see you tomorrow hopefully.
Wow I did all that without saving once. Someone sure likes to live dangerously, eh?
I haven't yet read the article, but the front page of the Star tells me that despite all the expectations from pundits the Alberta PC's have won a majority, the reins of power having NOT been passed on to the alarming Wildrose party. I'm actually quite relieved, I thought for sure the politics of sensationalism would triumph and another nail would be hammered into "my Canada" (the thing Justin Trudeau is so nuts over- and I don't blame him!).
Patriotism is a weird thing. A weird, terrible thing.
I haven't written a proper comic review in a month now, breaking my 5 or 6 year streak. It's shaken my identity to have lost that thing. But only to a point, thankfully I'm still holding on to that "love yourself" message from last week.
For the sake of my sanity I may do a series of one issue per week reviews to catch up- but that still doesn't solve the problem of the web site being all wonky. Not that I've had the heart/interest to see what's what, whether or not it's gotten any better.
It wouldn't be too surprising to think I've burned myself out on reviews, I tended to do far too many to get out in a proper time frame, and my schedule doesn't care much for extra curriculars as it is.
I had a strong desire to send a message to a high school friend and see if he'd be available to teach me some drumming. That desire hasn't particularly gone away, but I know it'd be nearly impossible to cram that in.
I need to travel up to York to start to settle debts, but nothing is quite open when I'm finished work, and things are quite closed when I wake up again. At least that's true for banks.
I know, I know, "waaah waaah, somebody call the waaambulance."
At least I've saved enough to feel confident in approaching the guys. Anyways, I've got some report writing to do, and I have to make the trip home, and I've already alluded to my wrist hurting. So see you tomorrow hopefully.
Wow I did all that without saving once. Someone sure likes to live dangerously, eh?
F.F.
What are the odds that this movie ends with a quiet rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"? That song gets me every time.
I'm speaking of the film "Finding Forrester", the (thus far) last in a series of movies loaned to me by a resident at the condo I work at.
I'm ALSO rather a sucker for stories about writers. I hope to make a good one myself someday. But there's a lot in this movie that kicks me out of the illusion. The degree to which Connery's character is cloistered from the outside world, and the apparent switch that gets flipped allowing him to finally ride back out into the world.
The tag line is: In an ordinary place, he found the one person to make his life extraordinary.
Oh man! Is the line referring to Jamal meeting Forrester (Connery) or is it about Forrester meeting Jamal? Dude, could it be both?!?!?!?
I'm also incredulous at the degree to which the Jamal character (or really any of the characters) could cite passages and authors at the drop of a hat. That could just be sour grapes on my part for being ignorant. Maybe.
The worst though was the section when they read out the contenders for the writing contest. The one "normal" student was given an insulting short hand for mediocrity, the stumbling over his own words when reading them out loud. Was there a whole secret subplot with this character getting his work written for him, and this was the first oppourtunity he'd ever had to read the work? No?
Conversely, Forrester walks in, gives part of a reading before the sound fades out and the camera scans across the dumbfounded audience, and when we cut back to Forrester we're given to understand that the words were the height of excellence... but what's this? The pulitzer prize winning recluse is now telling us that those words of wonderment were in fact Jamal's!!
The movie did a fine job of telling us what was great writing, but is there any surprise that it couldn't show it to us? What is great writing? I'd imagine it's whatever provokes the greatest response, but that's the thing: what provokes one person falls flat on another, what is wonderful to one is horrible to the other, etcetera etcetera, cliche cliche (I'd have gone all out and actually put the little accent on the end of "cliche" just now, but I'm not sure I can do that on this wordpad program... too bad, I'm rarely in the mood to bother with accents).
Hardly revolutionary to say, but knowing when something is terrible is easy, but knowing when it's great? Good luck.
And even then, with this irony filled world, the terrible writing can slip through, too. I don't think I need to remind anyone that Twilight exists.
To F.F.'s credit (Finding Forrester will now be abbreviated, for all the good it'll do me at this point) they used some kind of electronic type-writer that I thought was really cool (did you hear about the engineer who created a type-writer, uh, like USB type thing that plugs into a computer? It's pretty awesome- I think you can buy a kit to make your own for like $75).
Forrester's advice that Jamal needed to "STRIKE THE KEYS!!", or something along those lines, struck ME as ridiculous. I am glad to have finally heard the famous "You're the man now, dog!" line straight from the source.
I found the movie overall to be inauthentic. That's a loaded worded, but there it is. Oh, but I just remembered the last thing I wanted to mention about it (I was worried I'd have to let this nagging feeling have at me): I did like the explanation of "farther" as pertaining to distance, as opposed to "further" as pertaining to degree. So hopefully that'll stick with me. And also that I got it right.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Baki and Marmaduke
I just finished watching this 45 minute anime thing from '96: Grappler Baki The Ultimate Fighter. Man did that suck. Yeesh. Every stereotypical bad anime trope taken to eleven. I didn't think that actually existed, but there it is.
I've gotta tvtropes this thing, make sure it's as universally reviled as I think it deserves to be. Looks like I'll be heading towards the "your mileage may vary" section.
It's my weekend off, and I've got a fairly packed schedule. Too packed.
(whoa, speaking of Tupac- they've got this hologram Tupac performing on stage? Actually, I understand it isn't strictly speaking a hologram.. uh, I forget why that is, what the distinction between what it is and a hologram... wait, was my source the Toronto Sun on this one? You know what? Forget I said anything, it's a hologram. Anyways, I read someone saying how they've totally got to do Biggie Smalls. Tupac and Biggie? No one said anything about bringing them together, but regardless the association woke me up to the sliminess of the whole thing. Unless Tupac's got it somewhere in his will that it's cool to use his image for a performance like this, I'm calling unethical on this one.)
But right, my schedule. I'm trying to figure out what to keep and what to ditch. Before the house warming this evening will I go for a run to get comics? Will I go to the gym? Pick up groceries? Go to the bank? Get fully rested up after the usual 12 hour work night?
I can't do all of them. At least I can't do them all and get enough sleep to be of any use anywhere else.
The house warming is for a member of the gang that I've made myself "The Marmaduke Guy". No one has actually called me that, but I've been extolling the virtues of the terrible Marmaduke strips the last three times I've hung out with them. The last two times I brought samples! And I've already got two NEW samples in front of me, with a new paper right beside me, its Marmaduke itching to be cut/torn free.
For the record, I'd very much rather not be ever called "The Marmaduke Guy". But if that does happen, I've brought it on myself.
Hmm, maybe I'll switch gears and merely introduce everyone to this "Grappler Baki" business. How about no? I've decided I will not make enemies tonight.
And all those other decisions: I'll make after a good sleep. So that cuts off a good many options all ready- but I'm so tired! So yeah.
I've gotta tvtropes this thing, make sure it's as universally reviled as I think it deserves to be. Looks like I'll be heading towards the "your mileage may vary" section.
It's my weekend off, and I've got a fairly packed schedule. Too packed.
(whoa, speaking of Tupac- they've got this hologram Tupac performing on stage? Actually, I understand it isn't strictly speaking a hologram.. uh, I forget why that is, what the distinction between what it is and a hologram... wait, was my source the Toronto Sun on this one? You know what? Forget I said anything, it's a hologram. Anyways, I read someone saying how they've totally got to do Biggie Smalls. Tupac and Biggie? No one said anything about bringing them together, but regardless the association woke me up to the sliminess of the whole thing. Unless Tupac's got it somewhere in his will that it's cool to use his image for a performance like this, I'm calling unethical on this one.)
But right, my schedule. I'm trying to figure out what to keep and what to ditch. Before the house warming this evening will I go for a run to get comics? Will I go to the gym? Pick up groceries? Go to the bank? Get fully rested up after the usual 12 hour work night?
I can't do all of them. At least I can't do them all and get enough sleep to be of any use anywhere else.
The house warming is for a member of the gang that I've made myself "The Marmaduke Guy". No one has actually called me that, but I've been extolling the virtues of the terrible Marmaduke strips the last three times I've hung out with them. The last two times I brought samples! And I've already got two NEW samples in front of me, with a new paper right beside me, its Marmaduke itching to be cut/torn free.
For the record, I'd very much rather not be ever called "The Marmaduke Guy". But if that does happen, I've brought it on myself.
Hmm, maybe I'll switch gears and merely introduce everyone to this "Grappler Baki" business. How about no? I've decided I will not make enemies tonight.
And all those other decisions: I'll make after a good sleep. So that cuts off a good many options all ready- but I'm so tired! So yeah.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Previously on...
In case you haven't noticed, I've fallen behind on my blog work. Way behind.
Oh, no worries about my quota- I've already got a plan for that to get done. Bed and breakfast entries (one before bed, one when I wake up) will quickly catch me up, so that's all good.
They'll probably be short ones though.
I actually don't have a lot of time right now, I need to get ready for work, so this has to get bashed out fast, however this being Thursday means there's one thing I wanted to say for the past week, and if I don't get it out now it'll REALLY feel dated.
Last weeks episode of Community had a sweet aesop about loving yourself, about not needing someone else's validation to raise your self esteem to nominal levels. That if you love yourself first, maybe then the Blade's of the world, or better yet, the Troy's, will come to you. And if they don't? That's okay too, because you're already a better person.
I've worded this wrong, making it sound like the purpose of liking ones self is to land a man (I've REALLY worded this wrong in my case) but the episode really touched me. I had been visiting with a friend not too long before seeing that episode, and I had been wrapped up in my own awkwardness. Being awkward and referencing that awkwardness ("Abed, is this you being 'meta'?")- it's not exactly a new phenomena. I remember one trip to Wonderland in high school where I didn't say much, and eventually another classmate asked me about it. I said I didn't have anything to say. She said I was talking right now. And I said talking about not having nothing to say doesn't really count.
I'm going to try and worry less about that kind of thing, not get too lost in thinking about how I'm coming across so I can try to enjoy the company of others better.
That said, there's a new Community tonight! What'll they think of next?! I hope it's heart-warming!
Oh, no worries about my quota- I've already got a plan for that to get done. Bed and breakfast entries (one before bed, one when I wake up) will quickly catch me up, so that's all good.
They'll probably be short ones though.
I actually don't have a lot of time right now, I need to get ready for work, so this has to get bashed out fast, however this being Thursday means there's one thing I wanted to say for the past week, and if I don't get it out now it'll REALLY feel dated.
Last weeks episode of Community had a sweet aesop about loving yourself, about not needing someone else's validation to raise your self esteem to nominal levels. That if you love yourself first, maybe then the Blade's of the world, or better yet, the Troy's, will come to you. And if they don't? That's okay too, because you're already a better person.
I've worded this wrong, making it sound like the purpose of liking ones self is to land a man (I've REALLY worded this wrong in my case) but the episode really touched me. I had been visiting with a friend not too long before seeing that episode, and I had been wrapped up in my own awkwardness. Being awkward and referencing that awkwardness ("Abed, is this you being 'meta'?")- it's not exactly a new phenomena. I remember one trip to Wonderland in high school where I didn't say much, and eventually another classmate asked me about it. I said I didn't have anything to say. She said I was talking right now. And I said talking about not having nothing to say doesn't really count.
I'm going to try and worry less about that kind of thing, not get too lost in thinking about how I'm coming across so I can try to enjoy the company of others better.
That said, there's a new Community tonight! What'll they think of next?! I hope it's heart-warming!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Social Function Part 3
Cool Geoff and I arrive at the Comedy Bar just in time for the show "Problem Solved!". For those not in the know, it's a panel show, with a host and 6 comedians (three to a team, where they get points, but of course the points don't matter- as Drew Carey would surely tell you... I'm referencing "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" in case you didn't know) solving problems that have been submitted to the event.
Quick interjection: what a convoluted mess of a paragraph that was, eh?
The show goes swimmingly, I know there was one gag in particular that had my buddy Jimmy (he was one of the panelists) howling on stage... I want to say it had something to do with a duck? I probably shouldn't have taken so long to write this... anyways, the night goes on, and we eventually get to the last section where the group take problems from the audience.
Now I have no compunction with looking a little silly in front of an audience for the sake of a show, so I'm certainly ready with a problem- that is, if no one else is going to contribute. I'm more than happy to just chill out and enjoy the show, but I've got the performers backs in a pinch is what I'm saying.
One girl goes up with a problem about her curtains, and gets made fun of due to her british style accent. I thought it was kind of mean, but apparently she and the host are friends and it was all good (I found that out after the show). I didn't have to tell you about that part, but I didn't want anyone to accuse me of forgeting that part. Well, I didn't.
Thenabouts is when I give my problem: I went for a run today, and my knee hurts, but I don't want to see my doctor about it because his advice is always "just stop doing the thing that hurts."
That's when Jimmy pipes up. Remember from part one of this series when I said his knowing the price of my shoes would become relevant later? Well, here it is.
He says "Hold on, I have some proprietary information: were you wearing those shoes?"
"Yes."
"Ladies and gentleman, I happen to know that he got those shoes for $12 at Wal-Mart..."
Of course by this point I'm attempting to comically talk over him, saying "I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU" but it's no good. The panelists have turned against me, convinced it's my shoes that are the source of my problems.
(It doesn't help that the host worked at "The Running Room", so he's on board with priced up shoes too- but come on, these aren't objective opinions, the Running Room has a vested interest in me getting more expensive shoes, I can't trust that kind of input! Where are the independant shoe studies?!?)
As far as my knee goes since then, thanks for asking, I haven't had any real problems, but I also haven't run for a straight half hour either. I went to the gym yesterday, running to and from the place, totalling about 15 minutes of running. I thought I may have felt the first stirrings of my problem flaring up, but that could also just be me being a hypochondriac feeling phantom pains. I can't be sure. I've made a point of no longer crossing my legs at work, theorizing that that puts an extra strain on the old leg hinges. Sometimes I forget and slip into cross-legged territory, but then I immediately set things right.. unless I'm talking to a resident, in which case it would look insane to cross my legs in front of them before immediately uncrossing them.
I've got a bunch of movies I'd like to talk about, but that'll have to wait for later.
Quick interjection: what a convoluted mess of a paragraph that was, eh?
The show goes swimmingly, I know there was one gag in particular that had my buddy Jimmy (he was one of the panelists) howling on stage... I want to say it had something to do with a duck? I probably shouldn't have taken so long to write this... anyways, the night goes on, and we eventually get to the last section where the group take problems from the audience.
Now I have no compunction with looking a little silly in front of an audience for the sake of a show, so I'm certainly ready with a problem- that is, if no one else is going to contribute. I'm more than happy to just chill out and enjoy the show, but I've got the performers backs in a pinch is what I'm saying.
One girl goes up with a problem about her curtains, and gets made fun of due to her british style accent. I thought it was kind of mean, but apparently she and the host are friends and it was all good (I found that out after the show). I didn't have to tell you about that part, but I didn't want anyone to accuse me of forgeting that part. Well, I didn't.
Thenabouts is when I give my problem: I went for a run today, and my knee hurts, but I don't want to see my doctor about it because his advice is always "just stop doing the thing that hurts."
That's when Jimmy pipes up. Remember from part one of this series when I said his knowing the price of my shoes would become relevant later? Well, here it is.
He says "Hold on, I have some proprietary information: were you wearing those shoes?"
"Yes."
"Ladies and gentleman, I happen to know that he got those shoes for $12 at Wal-Mart..."
Of course by this point I'm attempting to comically talk over him, saying "I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU" but it's no good. The panelists have turned against me, convinced it's my shoes that are the source of my problems.
(It doesn't help that the host worked at "The Running Room", so he's on board with priced up shoes too- but come on, these aren't objective opinions, the Running Room has a vested interest in me getting more expensive shoes, I can't trust that kind of input! Where are the independant shoe studies?!?)
As far as my knee goes since then, thanks for asking, I haven't had any real problems, but I also haven't run for a straight half hour either. I went to the gym yesterday, running to and from the place, totalling about 15 minutes of running. I thought I may have felt the first stirrings of my problem flaring up, but that could also just be me being a hypochondriac feeling phantom pains. I can't be sure. I've made a point of no longer crossing my legs at work, theorizing that that puts an extra strain on the old leg hinges. Sometimes I forget and slip into cross-legged territory, but then I immediately set things right.. unless I'm talking to a resident, in which case it would look insane to cross my legs in front of them before immediately uncrossing them.
I've got a bunch of movies I'd like to talk about, but that'll have to wait for later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
