I've come up with the title first for once- it's an anthem of pain, which I am currently feeling.
My baaack My baaaack!!!
9 hours of standing is a lot of hours of standing. Maybe you weren't aware.
A guard with (presumably) more experience was sick, so I was suddenly in charge of dudes for today and yesterday at the Fairview mall. Naturally this meant staying late and taking my breaks after my subordinates, because that's what Optimus Prime would do after all.
As I've just mentioned to someone on the facebook (of course there I was just stretching for something to talk about) I spent a fair chunk of today stretching my mind trying to remember the author of To the Lighthouse. I'm disappointed I had to use the google when I got home. Virgian Woolf.
Of course.
All I could think of was Emily Dickinson-- she's so enveloped my brain it's no surprise I couldn't find another name in there. If Sylvia Plath wasn't so obviously not it, I could probably have thought of her as well.
Got two calls for job interviews today, I had to decline the one happening tomorrow as I'm ostensibly working, but the monday one is good to go- for a concierge job at yonge and sheppard which would be AMAZING.
Listen, I don't get bored easily, I'm happy to let my mind wander, but this standing around's for the birds (wait, that's not right...). Give me a chair for even half the time I've been working, and everything's gravy.
And a radio is even better.
And a book is even better still.
Paper and pen for creative stuff.
Make it a sunny day where I'm half hanging out of a booth, but not worried about sunburn because I've got sunscreen or I'm just hiding in the shade, and I don't have to deal with any people... okay, now I'm just daydreaming about my better days in the parking booth.
They rarely let me have a book though... but I did do a lot of great work on my comic in that booth.
Okay, enough with this past stuff. Past schmast.
So! Finish this week of work (AUGH I've been working since Friday... and it's only Tuesday! Unless my shifts get cancelled I'll be doing this standing stuff through to Saturday), get better gig, hopefully this one I'm interviewing for- sounded like one of those two days of twelve hours on the weekend. Find another twleve hours spread out over the rest of the week, and I'm plenty happy with 36 hours of work.
Leaving me with plenty of time to maybe volunteer at thinkgeek toronto (I've been wanting to do that for months now), go to the gym, take a cooking class, SOMETHING.
Yup, I'm an ambitious guy, just not in the "make money, rule the world" kind of way.
Maybe later.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Again with the titles! So lame
My old bedside lamp here doesn't want to work anymore, looks like I'll need a new lightbulb or something. I'll have to take care of that at some point. Poor lampy.
Day three playing at security. Decided to pay attention to the different sizes and shapes of peoples noses. There was one guy with a relatively slim, sculpted nose tip, bit with slighlty above average sized nostrils. It wasn't anything crazy unless you were looking for it.
There was this one woman with her boyfriend, she had this slight frown, nothing sad to it- I'm still trying to decide how that worked- and when she smiled she had deep smile lines. It was a lovely, unique face.
So, I guess that is what I do now. Professional people watcher.
I did that already, but now I'm getting paid, so that's a step up.
My boots seem to have broken in well enough, but my back is still killing me. I'm reasonably sure I'll get used to it (if I have to- that's not the plan), so long as I keep rested and fueled up food wise- I asked this one guy how long he's been at it, four years, and his back hurts... but he also told me he'd had no sleep and works out 5 times a week. So I'm less worried.
But seriously, three days in a row of McDonalds- blargh. Gotta do something about that.
This guy told me about his workouts un-prompted, and considering how long since I've been anywhere near a gym and I've got this gigantic shirt to lose myself in, I can't imagine he was trying to bond over common interests.
Gotta assert ones dominance after all.
Ah, maybe he just doesn't have anything else to talk about... which would also be terrible. Broaden your horizons! Read some comics!
Seinfeld just started it's standard 10pm show. A gag about women being good with a chequebook is amazingly dated. I still like this show. I only just discovered the thing two years or so after it was already finished. And it was probably another year before I realized the thing was already over and done with.
This will happen to youngish kids for years to come- up till they stop regularly broadcasting the show. That's pretty interesting.
Okay, that's good for tonight.
Day three playing at security. Decided to pay attention to the different sizes and shapes of peoples noses. There was one guy with a relatively slim, sculpted nose tip, bit with slighlty above average sized nostrils. It wasn't anything crazy unless you were looking for it.
There was this one woman with her boyfriend, she had this slight frown, nothing sad to it- I'm still trying to decide how that worked- and when she smiled she had deep smile lines. It was a lovely, unique face.
So, I guess that is what I do now. Professional people watcher.
I did that already, but now I'm getting paid, so that's a step up.
My boots seem to have broken in well enough, but my back is still killing me. I'm reasonably sure I'll get used to it (if I have to- that's not the plan), so long as I keep rested and fueled up food wise- I asked this one guy how long he's been at it, four years, and his back hurts... but he also told me he'd had no sleep and works out 5 times a week. So I'm less worried.
But seriously, three days in a row of McDonalds- blargh. Gotta do something about that.
This guy told me about his workouts un-prompted, and considering how long since I've been anywhere near a gym and I've got this gigantic shirt to lose myself in, I can't imagine he was trying to bond over common interests.
Gotta assert ones dominance after all.
Ah, maybe he just doesn't have anything else to talk about... which would also be terrible. Broaden your horizons! Read some comics!
Seinfeld just started it's standard 10pm show. A gag about women being good with a chequebook is amazingly dated. I still like this show. I only just discovered the thing two years or so after it was already finished. And it was probably another year before I realized the thing was already over and done with.
This will happen to youngish kids for years to come- up till they stop regularly broadcasting the show. That's pretty interesting.
Okay, that's good for tonight.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Because lines are interesting.
Well sir, that was my first day securitizing.
It went ridiculously smoothly. My back and legs are a little sore from standing all day, and even then mostly it's just my legs right this second.
It looks to me like the "event" was such for the sole reason of drumming up conversation. There's a bunch of people on the facebook right now commenting on how dumb it is for people to be lined up that long for a gadget they can get just about whenever- but they're still talking about the thing! They're playing into the apples hands!
There were so many people walking by, filming with their own i-phones. Forget about the insanity of these guys mediating all their experiences through the lens of this product- this is what they felt needed to be recorded? There was nothing interesting about it.
A moderately long line to a moderately new product.
There was a sort of flash mob of japanese guys doing a group dance number to a drum and flute- film that, that was cool.
Well, it's 1am, my pizza's cooked, and I've got work tomorrow, so let's eat and sleep.
It went ridiculously smoothly. My back and legs are a little sore from standing all day, and even then mostly it's just my legs right this second.
It looks to me like the "event" was such for the sole reason of drumming up conversation. There's a bunch of people on the facebook right now commenting on how dumb it is for people to be lined up that long for a gadget they can get just about whenever- but they're still talking about the thing! They're playing into the apples hands!
There were so many people walking by, filming with their own i-phones. Forget about the insanity of these guys mediating all their experiences through the lens of this product- this is what they felt needed to be recorded? There was nothing interesting about it.
A moderately long line to a moderately new product.
There was a sort of flash mob of japanese guys doing a group dance number to a drum and flute- film that, that was cool.
Well, it's 1am, my pizza's cooked, and I've got work tomorrow, so let's eat and sleep.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Driving and errands. Yes, errands does remind me of the word almonds. Good point.
Busy day, downtown for an interview in name only, the guy took one look at me and went ahead and told me that I shouldn't cover for the other guy that slacks off. And I filled out paperwork.
Got a nametag (licence # tag) engraved at the Fairview mall ($10), picked up some library comics while waiting for said engraving, then picked up some work/cargo pants at Marks work warehouse (about $45), then got some steel toed black boots, very awesome with their electrical insulation too, like a utility belt for my feet (probably like $70) and I got some new socks because seriously, my heels get cold- not really, but I need new socks.
And I got yogurt, pizza, and juice.
So I'm back to no money- hope this work thing tomorrow goes well.
I like running all over (by which I mean driving), running errands and whatnot. It's cool, time with my radio and a sense of purpose. Plus there's that degree of problem solving involved, figuring the most effiecient routes, places most likely to have what you're looking for, all that stuff.
I was originally going to hop back into the car at Don Mills station, go to Key Man Engravables at the Scarborough Town Centre- but then realized Fairview Mall, where I was currently parked, PROBABLY had one of it's one. I didn't even come CLOSE to the Scarborough Town Centre today.
Allowed myself to be super distracted this evening, I took forever getting to my comic reviews, stopping after only the two because I do have to make sure I'm in bed, rested and organized so I can get to work tomorrow.
First days at work. Yup, very similar to Exam Days in that I will probably wake up a lot during the night, checking to see if it's time to get up or if I've slept 30 years too late.
I forget how long Rip Van Winkle slept.
I keep forgetting to write this down, it's a short joke for my set:
"I find different things funny than a lot of people, I've got a bit of an off beat sense of humour."
(Then I hold as if I were waiting for laughs in response to me saying something funny)
"See? I was expecting laughter there."
Alternatively, if someone actually DOES laugh during the space I left open, I can say: "REALLY? No one was supposed to laugh there."
Just a quick gag, but I like it. I'm not liable to forget that one, it's been in my head for a while actually, but I can almost sort of relax now that it's written down.
Unless now that it's down I totally forget about it, and can't find it later going through my archives...
It's fine, it'll be fine, I need to get ready for bed.
Got a nametag (licence # tag) engraved at the Fairview mall ($10), picked up some library comics while waiting for said engraving, then picked up some work/cargo pants at Marks work warehouse (about $45), then got some steel toed black boots, very awesome with their electrical insulation too, like a utility belt for my feet (probably like $70) and I got some new socks because seriously, my heels get cold- not really, but I need new socks.
And I got yogurt, pizza, and juice.
So I'm back to no money- hope this work thing tomorrow goes well.
I like running all over (by which I mean driving), running errands and whatnot. It's cool, time with my radio and a sense of purpose. Plus there's that degree of problem solving involved, figuring the most effiecient routes, places most likely to have what you're looking for, all that stuff.
I was originally going to hop back into the car at Don Mills station, go to Key Man Engravables at the Scarborough Town Centre- but then realized Fairview Mall, where I was currently parked, PROBABLY had one of it's one. I didn't even come CLOSE to the Scarborough Town Centre today.
Allowed myself to be super distracted this evening, I took forever getting to my comic reviews, stopping after only the two because I do have to make sure I'm in bed, rested and organized so I can get to work tomorrow.
First days at work. Yup, very similar to Exam Days in that I will probably wake up a lot during the night, checking to see if it's time to get up or if I've slept 30 years too late.
I forget how long Rip Van Winkle slept.
I keep forgetting to write this down, it's a short joke for my set:
"I find different things funny than a lot of people, I've got a bit of an off beat sense of humour."
(Then I hold as if I were waiting for laughs in response to me saying something funny)
"See? I was expecting laughter there."
Alternatively, if someone actually DOES laugh during the space I left open, I can say: "REALLY? No one was supposed to laugh there."
Just a quick gag, but I like it. I'm not liable to forget that one, it's been in my head for a while actually, but I can almost sort of relax now that it's written down.
Unless now that it's down I totally forget about it, and can't find it later going through my archives...
It's fine, it'll be fine, I need to get ready for bed.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tracer John Leguizamo is the man. Just because of his name.
Had a security job interview today, for the next week starting Friday I'll be standing around trying to look spiffy at an Apple store, or an i-Apple store or whatever the place is.
I've been inside that kind of store MAYBE twice.
So I've got this, then my other conversation on facebook right now, where I'm emphasizing my out of touchness with technology. Pfft- technology never did nuthin' for nobody. Ain't that right Artoo?
*DOOP DOOP DOO WEE BOO DOOP*
That's right. Targeting computers are for nerfherders.
My main movie buddy and I went to see Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer yesterday. Let me tell you one thing, Limitless was pretty popular, a very crowded theatre. I liked it a lot, but you could tell the whole thing was just the writer wishing he could find some super drug that made him brilliant-er (Because "it works better if you're already smart"), to erase the excuses that get in the way of his genius.
So, easily getting past the wish fulfillment, very fun movie.
The Lincoln Lawyer was also fun, but more in a "ifthepartyofthefirstpartagreestodiscontinuetheactionsofthepartyofthesecondpartthenIcangoaboutgatheringtheevidencetoeventuallyproceedwithfilingthemotionforaninjunctionagainstYOU!"
oh-SNAP!
But the best part was at the end, discussing the movie, and not knowing pretty much any of the characters names. The result was:
-So, who was Lincoln Lawyer talking to that time?
-Moustache Investigator William H. Macy
-Because of the actions of Evil/Jerk Ryan Phillippe (which we shortened down to just "Ryan Phillippe" because in every movie I've ever seen him in he's always evil/jerk, so that was redundant)
But the greatest name, and also the first one to get made up (this one definitely by me) was Tracer John Leguizamo, because he was in charge of the ankle tracer thing.
Why was Lincoln Lawyer roughing up Tracer John Leguizamo? Didn't he know he could trust him?
Fun.
Visited my grandparents today, Mor Mor recognized us, but she doesn't talk much anymore. She hasn't REALLY been able to hear much for the last decade, but that was fine because I could just listen to whatever she wanted to say. That strategy hasn't been effective for almost three years now. Man that hurts.
Grandpa's at his home resting after his surgery- he had 59 staples straight across his belly, and you can tell he's feeling vunerable. This is probably the least mobile he's ever been, and that's a big deal to an independant guy like him.
The doc says his insides are in pristine condition ("that's clean living for you") so that's something.
He apparently loved the card that we sent him a bit ago, so that's good.
Grandpa's place- where Bare Naked Ladies is a crazy name for a band and Rebecca Black isn't even close to a name he'd have heard. If I hadn't spoiled it.
Mia culpa.
I've been inside that kind of store MAYBE twice.
So I've got this, then my other conversation on facebook right now, where I'm emphasizing my out of touchness with technology. Pfft- technology never did nuthin' for nobody. Ain't that right Artoo?
*DOOP DOOP DOO WEE BOO DOOP*
That's right. Targeting computers are for nerfherders.
My main movie buddy and I went to see Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer yesterday. Let me tell you one thing, Limitless was pretty popular, a very crowded theatre. I liked it a lot, but you could tell the whole thing was just the writer wishing he could find some super drug that made him brilliant-er (Because "it works better if you're already smart"), to erase the excuses that get in the way of his genius.
So, easily getting past the wish fulfillment, very fun movie.
The Lincoln Lawyer was also fun, but more in a "ifthepartyofthefirstpartagreestodiscontinuetheactionsofthepartyofthesecondpartthenIcangoaboutgatheringtheevidencetoeventuallyproceedwithfilingthemotionforaninjunctionagainstYOU!"
oh-SNAP!
But the best part was at the end, discussing the movie, and not knowing pretty much any of the characters names. The result was:
-So, who was Lincoln Lawyer talking to that time?
-Moustache Investigator William H. Macy
-Because of the actions of Evil/Jerk Ryan Phillippe (which we shortened down to just "Ryan Phillippe" because in every movie I've ever seen him in he's always evil/jerk, so that was redundant)
But the greatest name, and also the first one to get made up (this one definitely by me) was Tracer John Leguizamo, because he was in charge of the ankle tracer thing.
Why was Lincoln Lawyer roughing up Tracer John Leguizamo? Didn't he know he could trust him?
Fun.
Visited my grandparents today, Mor Mor recognized us, but she doesn't talk much anymore. She hasn't REALLY been able to hear much for the last decade, but that was fine because I could just listen to whatever she wanted to say. That strategy hasn't been effective for almost three years now. Man that hurts.
Grandpa's at his home resting after his surgery- he had 59 staples straight across his belly, and you can tell he's feeling vunerable. This is probably the least mobile he's ever been, and that's a big deal to an independant guy like him.
The doc says his insides are in pristine condition ("that's clean living for you") so that's something.
He apparently loved the card that we sent him a bit ago, so that's good.
Grandpa's place- where Bare Naked Ladies is a crazy name for a band and Rebecca Black isn't even close to a name he'd have heard. If I hadn't spoiled it.
Mia culpa.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Just check out my convention article. That's the smart thing to do.
I've still got time to make my usual monthly quota for posts, but I am starting to cut it close. And what's lame is I've actually been doing stuff, what with the comic convention and other things have happened I'm sure...
I just did my article on the convention, so definitely check that out here: http://www.themondocomics.com/2011/03/toronto-wizard-world-comic-convention-2011/
It's even got a picture I drew- live models are rough. Also, I felt the appropriate number of digits... unnecessary. Everyone needs to look like a muppet.
I was hoping Castle was old yesterday so I could watch Gran Torino with my brother Simon last night. But I ignored my alarm to go check because Clint Eastwood is awesome. His first line was gritty and hilarious, and I was completely pulled in.
Gotta get more Eastwood.
After I got the movie from the library I went for a walk and went by a Clintwood street. I thought that was suitably crazy.
I've had alternating happy sad happy dream nights... actually Saturday I kept hitting the snooze alarm for an hour just to hold on! to that world just a little longer.
I've got two security job interviews this week, one at the ritzy yorkdale mall, where I just missed getting the American Apparel gig. So how about that.
It looks like I'm getting a pretty big tax return thing, like $1600 bucks. So, if I give that to dad I'll have taken care of a months rent, and officially be contributing again. I can deal with that.
Whoah, hey, what I can't deal with (I just remembered)- the dudes at the store charged me $0.05 for a plastic bag, when I didn't ask for, nor did I recieve, a plastic bag. Weak!
I just did my article on the convention, so definitely check that out here: http://www.themondocomics.com/2011/03/toronto-wizard-world-comic-convention-2011/
It's even got a picture I drew- live models are rough. Also, I felt the appropriate number of digits... unnecessary. Everyone needs to look like a muppet.
I was hoping Castle was old yesterday so I could watch Gran Torino with my brother Simon last night. But I ignored my alarm to go check because Clint Eastwood is awesome. His first line was gritty and hilarious, and I was completely pulled in.
Gotta get more Eastwood.
After I got the movie from the library I went for a walk and went by a Clintwood street. I thought that was suitably crazy.
I've had alternating happy sad happy dream nights... actually Saturday I kept hitting the snooze alarm for an hour just to hold on! to that world just a little longer.
I've got two security job interviews this week, one at the ritzy yorkdale mall, where I just missed getting the American Apparel gig. So how about that.
It looks like I'm getting a pretty big tax return thing, like $1600 bucks. So, if I give that to dad I'll have taken care of a months rent, and officially be contributing again. I can deal with that.
Whoah, hey, what I can't deal with (I just remembered)- the dudes at the store charged me $0.05 for a plastic bag, when I didn't ask for, nor did I recieve, a plastic bag. Weak!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
A note on what I think are some of my strengths as far as comedy goes.
Good news all around- my security licence has finally come in, also, I seem to finally be getting used to spelling licence the way it's spelled on my drivers licence, and therefore I don't have to be anxious about how it's supposed to be spelled, however that is.
Also, got word a bunch of days ago that I was approved for the media pass to this weekends comic convention.
Aw yeah, gonna write about panels that professional comic writers/editors put on.
Saw Rango on Tuesday, was quite fun, but I did have some trouble staying awake for it for two reasons.
1- I kept my warm jacket on for most of the show. Warm = tired.
2- More importantly I've been working hard on getting my act together, meaning getting my sleep schedule in order for one, so I'd gotten up (pretty naturally in fact) at like 5:30 that day after 6 hours sleep.
And I'd been going to bed around that time not a week before.
Rango worked on a bunch of levels, comedy, western, self aware meta narrative (with nods to Depp as Hunter S. Thompson, and Clint Eastwood as the father to the modern western*). The story was really tight, sharing only what was needed- we never even learned Rango's real name... which made it odd that the one character, Ms. Beans, had this condition where she'd every once in a while just freeze up then a minute later start up again as if no time had passed. It wasn't explained, it never really serviced any jokes or the plot at all. We're told it's a defence mechanism that's gone a little screwy... is it from the trauma of your fathers death, making it difficult for you to trust others, with the freezing as a visible signal to that end? I don't know, maybe.
Seems like there was an explanation for it that they cut out of the movie, and in the film that ended up on screen it didn't need to be there at all. Maybe it's just something slightly odd that kids'll get a kick out of it.
*With John Wayne or Ronald Reagan or Jimmy Stewart as the grandfather to the western. Probably definitely Wayne.
Hm, may as well share an update as far as the comedy set goes. I know I'm at my funniest under two conditions (really, I'm going to make a little numbered list again? well, I do love it, so)
1- when I'm excited about whatever and have started talking pretty fast... of course maybe that's just a numbers game, start saying enough words per minute, you're bound to say something funny. Anyway, in this state I'm pretty expressive, talking with my hands... it's a sight. A funny, funny sight.
2- my controlled dry humour, usually a result of someone else saying something I perceive as ridiculous, and then I make my retort. The source of my reputation as a sarcastic guy, which I always fight against by putting forward the idea (perhaps purely semantical) that "sarcasm" has a degree of mean spiritedness to it, whereas if I actually think negatively about something concerning another person I'll hold my tongue. I prefer "irony" in place of the word "sarcasm".
Anyway, because of the spur of the moment-ness usually required for my #1 brand of humour, I was prepared to discount it, but relying solely on #2 was soon problematic because of how reactionary it is, not to mention, regardless of intent, it can be rough on the sensibilities.
I'm trying not to offend my audience (mostly stand up comics themselves), that's not what I want to go for, but I do want to comment on the performance involved with comedy. To that end I've turned the lense back on myself with some self deprecating humour. Sort of.
I've written a bit that has me purposefully sounding nervous, so I can ping pong between my two brands of humour. I guess what's interesting about it is I haven't just written down jokes to say, but jokes to act.
It's pretty tricky, and I'll definitely have to practice it a lot because it's something that HAS to be perfectly memorized (even as I nervously look at my cue cards for the bit).
Well, I need 5 minutes of material, and I've only just got a minute or so. Still got work to do. I'm confident that if I got this section down, I could riff for the remainder of my time and still come off better than most stand up sets- but that's not the plan.
Tight control without appearing thus. Professional.
I've got a ways to go.
Also, got word a bunch of days ago that I was approved for the media pass to this weekends comic convention.
Aw yeah, gonna write about panels that professional comic writers/editors put on.
Saw Rango on Tuesday, was quite fun, but I did have some trouble staying awake for it for two reasons.
1- I kept my warm jacket on for most of the show. Warm = tired.
2- More importantly I've been working hard on getting my act together, meaning getting my sleep schedule in order for one, so I'd gotten up (pretty naturally in fact) at like 5:30 that day after 6 hours sleep.
And I'd been going to bed around that time not a week before.
Rango worked on a bunch of levels, comedy, western, self aware meta narrative (with nods to Depp as Hunter S. Thompson, and Clint Eastwood as the father to the modern western*). The story was really tight, sharing only what was needed- we never even learned Rango's real name... which made it odd that the one character, Ms. Beans, had this condition where she'd every once in a while just freeze up then a minute later start up again as if no time had passed. It wasn't explained, it never really serviced any jokes or the plot at all. We're told it's a defence mechanism that's gone a little screwy... is it from the trauma of your fathers death, making it difficult for you to trust others, with the freezing as a visible signal to that end? I don't know, maybe.
Seems like there was an explanation for it that they cut out of the movie, and in the film that ended up on screen it didn't need to be there at all. Maybe it's just something slightly odd that kids'll get a kick out of it.
*With John Wayne or Ronald Reagan or Jimmy Stewart as the grandfather to the western. Probably definitely Wayne.
Hm, may as well share an update as far as the comedy set goes. I know I'm at my funniest under two conditions (really, I'm going to make a little numbered list again? well, I do love it, so)
1- when I'm excited about whatever and have started talking pretty fast... of course maybe that's just a numbers game, start saying enough words per minute, you're bound to say something funny. Anyway, in this state I'm pretty expressive, talking with my hands... it's a sight. A funny, funny sight.
2- my controlled dry humour, usually a result of someone else saying something I perceive as ridiculous, and then I make my retort. The source of my reputation as a sarcastic guy, which I always fight against by putting forward the idea (perhaps purely semantical) that "sarcasm" has a degree of mean spiritedness to it, whereas if I actually think negatively about something concerning another person I'll hold my tongue. I prefer "irony" in place of the word "sarcasm".
Anyway, because of the spur of the moment-ness usually required for my #1 brand of humour, I was prepared to discount it, but relying solely on #2 was soon problematic because of how reactionary it is, not to mention, regardless of intent, it can be rough on the sensibilities.
I'm trying not to offend my audience (mostly stand up comics themselves), that's not what I want to go for, but I do want to comment on the performance involved with comedy. To that end I've turned the lense back on myself with some self deprecating humour. Sort of.
I've written a bit that has me purposefully sounding nervous, so I can ping pong between my two brands of humour. I guess what's interesting about it is I haven't just written down jokes to say, but jokes to act.
It's pretty tricky, and I'll definitely have to practice it a lot because it's something that HAS to be perfectly memorized (even as I nervously look at my cue cards for the bit).
Well, I need 5 minutes of material, and I've only just got a minute or so. Still got work to do. I'm confident that if I got this section down, I could riff for the remainder of my time and still come off better than most stand up sets- but that's not the plan.
Tight control without appearing thus. Professional.
I've got a ways to go.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Not a bad post after all indeed. I've gotta start making titles beforehand.
I could really go for a bowl of cereal right now. Like, some honey nut cheerios or something. And just sit, and slowly savour the thing.
Quick note, "savour" with an 'ou' is another of those British english conventions.
That's what the dictionary.com says.
I've turned 90 degrees again, laying down in a more conventional manner along the full length of the bed. What a weird thing.
I don't seem to have much to say right now.
You know what? You win post. I'll stop- for now.
But I'll be back- then we'll see who's in charge.
Ah, talking antagonistically to my post (i.e. being crazy/silly) has made me feel a bit better.
Not a bad post after all.
Quick note, "savour" with an 'ou' is another of those British english conventions.
That's what the dictionary.com says.
I've turned 90 degrees again, laying down in a more conventional manner along the full length of the bed. What a weird thing.
I don't seem to have much to say right now.
You know what? You win post. I'll stop- for now.
But I'll be back- then we'll see who's in charge.
Ah, talking antagonistically to my post (i.e. being crazy/silly) has made me feel a bit better.
Not a bad post after all.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Enormous Iconic Energies!
Woke up to no power in the house today, which suited me just fine (providing it came back on eventually). I toyed around with the idea of turning on a light so I'd know when the power returned, but didn't- which makes it all the more startling how obvious it was regardless when the power was back. Yes, there was the beeping of a printer turning back on for one, but there was a more generic hum that reappeared.
Obviously, I miss the silence already.
Then again, thanks to power I got to see a video of some guy making fun of Phantom Menace, so really, it's a wash.
Had a pretty lame dream where I was stuck in a kind of repressive sunday school type thing, the last thing that happened was some kind of math test. There were nine questions on the board, and we were all given a sort of keyboard calculator, where in place of the F keys along the top there was another row of numbers 1-9, each operating as a short cut for a particular calculator function... so they were JUST like the F keys, but there were less of them, and they didn't have the F emblazoned on them.
But I didn't realize they were function keys. And then we were told to do questions 5-9 first (for simplicity's sake). But just do it like this Isaac! Wait, what did that do? Why is that the answer?
Like that matters!
Wait, these are the function keys, I get it- okay, let me look at question 1-
NOPE everyone flip your sheets
Who got all the questions done? *hands go up*
Who got some of them done? *hands go up none of them mine*
Man, that sucked. Where do you reckon THAT came from? Any dreams relating to exams or the like are usually just me forgetting I had to go to one, then trying to rush over to the place. And even those dreams were pretty much exclusively reserved for, you know, the night before an ACTUAL exam.
... wish I could say the situation itself had never really happened to me. Miss one exam and you're scarred for life it seems.
This is all Chaucer's fault.
Still no word on my security licence, which has me a little worried too- but seeing as I only JUST got my CPR licence card thingy in the mail, and it had a good head start on my security application, I guess I can breathe a little easier.
With the snow melting and everything, I went for a short run yesterday. For someone who self identifies as a runner, I'm not where I want to be ability wise. It's been a longish winter.
And I need new shoes, my right foot keeps getting soaked- and I can't even see where the whole is, but there has to be one.
I read through volume 2 of Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol- "The Painting that Ate Paris" the other day... er yup, I said volume three on my facebook page. How embarassing! Well, a little 1984 style editing, and now I never made the mistake in the first place.
We should really focus on some of the pros of living in a 1984. I'm kidding.
But I really enjoyed the book, a hypothetical fifth horseman of the apocalypse is trapped in the painting, and as it travels through the various infinite paint-scapes it gains power from the ideologies therein. i.e. realism, abstraction, etc. etc. each give power to this epically giant horseman.
Here's an awesome panel I've got up as my profile image right now:
Eventually the Morrison iteration of the Brotherhood of Evil- the "Brotherhood of Dada" joined forces with the Doom Patrol to direct the horseman to an absurdist level, where it lost all its power and was turned into a kids rocking horse.
It was pretty awesome. I've got the next volume coming through the library, but I have a feeling that was the high point of the series run right there.
Obviously, I miss the silence already.
Then again, thanks to power I got to see a video of some guy making fun of Phantom Menace, so really, it's a wash.
Had a pretty lame dream where I was stuck in a kind of repressive sunday school type thing, the last thing that happened was some kind of math test. There were nine questions on the board, and we were all given a sort of keyboard calculator, where in place of the F keys along the top there was another row of numbers 1-9, each operating as a short cut for a particular calculator function... so they were JUST like the F keys, but there were less of them, and they didn't have the F emblazoned on them.
But I didn't realize they were function keys. And then we were told to do questions 5-9 first (for simplicity's sake). But just do it like this Isaac! Wait, what did that do? Why is that the answer?
Like that matters!
Wait, these are the function keys, I get it- okay, let me look at question 1-
NOPE everyone flip your sheets
Who got all the questions done? *hands go up*
Who got some of them done? *hands go up none of them mine*
Man, that sucked. Where do you reckon THAT came from? Any dreams relating to exams or the like are usually just me forgetting I had to go to one, then trying to rush over to the place. And even those dreams were pretty much exclusively reserved for, you know, the night before an ACTUAL exam.
... wish I could say the situation itself had never really happened to me. Miss one exam and you're scarred for life it seems.
This is all Chaucer's fault.
Still no word on my security licence, which has me a little worried too- but seeing as I only JUST got my CPR licence card thingy in the mail, and it had a good head start on my security application, I guess I can breathe a little easier.
With the snow melting and everything, I went for a short run yesterday. For someone who self identifies as a runner, I'm not where I want to be ability wise. It's been a longish winter.
And I need new shoes, my right foot keeps getting soaked- and I can't even see where the whole is, but there has to be one.
I read through volume 2 of Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol- "The Painting that Ate Paris" the other day... er yup, I said volume three on my facebook page. How embarassing! Well, a little 1984 style editing, and now I never made the mistake in the first place.
We should really focus on some of the pros of living in a 1984. I'm kidding.
But I really enjoyed the book, a hypothetical fifth horseman of the apocalypse is trapped in the painting, and as it travels through the various infinite paint-scapes it gains power from the ideologies therein. i.e. realism, abstraction, etc. etc. each give power to this epically giant horseman.
Here's an awesome panel I've got up as my profile image right now:
Eventually the Morrison iteration of the Brotherhood of Evil- the "Brotherhood of Dada" joined forces with the Doom Patrol to direct the horseman to an absurdist level, where it lost all its power and was turned into a kids rocking horse.
It was pretty awesome. I've got the next volume coming through the library, but I have a feeling that was the high point of the series run right there.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Unintentional help
Been wasting away these past few days. It'd be fine if it weren't the 8th of March.
At this point, if you were to tell me that tomorrow would be January 1st 2012, I'd have to at least consider that you were telling the truth.
My Grandpa just had, as I understand it, fairly major surgery today. I was supposed to sign a card, which I did, and I guess that was a good thing? I'm just frustrated- I feel like I've got very little to actually offer to help here. I tried to write something light, fun, distracting; while my brothers are practically eulogizing on their part of paper. Like that's reassuring.
I've been constructing in my head a stand up set/routine (I'm talking comedy, if 'stand up' isn't indicative of what I'm talking about to the community at large). I've been going to various comedy shows for years, and I don't think I suck at hearing the rhythm of the performances. Hearing what works, asking why it does, sort of working out the comedy formula.
I know that sounds terrible, mechanical. When I was little and taking piano I'd be accused of just playing the notes, not FEELING the music. Or something. Which was unfortunate- maybe if I was allowed to enjoy playing, without worrying about some ineffable quality, I would have kept at it.
Then again, I never practiced. So there's that.
Anyways, I've got a couple of jokes, but what I'm mostly thinking about is fitting everything together into a cohesive performance that compliments my character. What about me is naturally funny? I've got some ideas, but yes, I'm still working on it.
Also, it's figuring out how to make it funny to an audience- I have no intention of making people squirm in an attempt at a meta Andy Kaufman-esque joke, just because I'd laugh. You've gotta be either REALLY good to do that, or ridiculously arrogant to think you can get away with that.
I mentioned this to my friend who hosts a weekly comedy show, and he sounded really happy and enthused about the whole idea. It was really nice to somehow make someone happy without even trying. And surprising, especially in how his tone of voice just struck me differently than normal.
At this point, if you were to tell me that tomorrow would be January 1st 2012, I'd have to at least consider that you were telling the truth.
My Grandpa just had, as I understand it, fairly major surgery today. I was supposed to sign a card, which I did, and I guess that was a good thing? I'm just frustrated- I feel like I've got very little to actually offer to help here. I tried to write something light, fun, distracting; while my brothers are practically eulogizing on their part of paper. Like that's reassuring.
I've been constructing in my head a stand up set/routine (I'm talking comedy, if 'stand up' isn't indicative of what I'm talking about to the community at large). I've been going to various comedy shows for years, and I don't think I suck at hearing the rhythm of the performances. Hearing what works, asking why it does, sort of working out the comedy formula.
I know that sounds terrible, mechanical. When I was little and taking piano I'd be accused of just playing the notes, not FEELING the music. Or something. Which was unfortunate- maybe if I was allowed to enjoy playing, without worrying about some ineffable quality, I would have kept at it.
Then again, I never practiced. So there's that.
Anyways, I've got a couple of jokes, but what I'm mostly thinking about is fitting everything together into a cohesive performance that compliments my character. What about me is naturally funny? I've got some ideas, but yes, I'm still working on it.
Also, it's figuring out how to make it funny to an audience- I have no intention of making people squirm in an attempt at a meta Andy Kaufman-esque joke, just because I'd laugh. You've gotta be either REALLY good to do that, or ridiculously arrogant to think you can get away with that.
I mentioned this to my friend who hosts a weekly comedy show, and he sounded really happy and enthused about the whole idea. It was really nice to somehow make someone happy without even trying. And surprising, especially in how his tone of voice just struck me differently than normal.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A brief inter(net)lude. <- that just looks weird. I should probably erase that. It's fine.
Looking out the back window, I see my beloved orange sky, a thin freshly fallen layer of snow (all day it had been raining and around 7 degrees), the trees are shaking awesomely in the wind and a lamp post is flickering erratically on and off.
Not many more nights like this left for this winter.
So, take the good with the bad.
Though thinking about it now, 11ish to almost 5am is about 6 hours sleep, so not too bad tonight- but for the past while I've been having a rough time sleeping through the night, leaving me drained for the next day. I tried to remedy this last wednesday by walking out to pick up my comics (as opposed to driving)- even at the height of my powers, running to and from the store is an hour and ten minutes of exercise- I'm abominably far from the height of my powers, so this trip was longer still.
But yes, instead of helping me sleep that night it just left me even more physically drained for the next two days.
Ran into an old friend today- he looked tired, worried, and kinda... old. I'm worried about the guy- which is great in the sense that it makes me forget my troubles for a second.
News on the personal writing front: the comic blog I'd talked about starting up with Jimmy has transmogrified a bit- you know I write weekly reviews over at mondomagazine.net, right? Well, that site is splintering into a new comics focused site, where the regular writers (plus Jimmy) are each gaining "editor" status/power and we'll be in charge of our own stuff. This is actually a pretty sweet turn of events- any legitimacy and readers we have from Mondo will presumably follow us to the new site, not to mention the web acumen of the Mondo staff helping out my cyber lameness.
Instead of just weekly reviews, I'm also going to do an article on old issues of the Superboy series, an article on comics that were influential to me growing up (there's mostly just the first article that's crossover between those two topics), plus "Random Reviews" taking a comic I'm not usually following and giving it a read, and I'm sure there'll be other stuff as well.
I'll also take the unusual track of self promoting the new site- posting the link on facebook whenever I update and the like. Maybe that'd be the whole of it, but yeah, that may get us SOME additional traffic.
As opposed to my quietly writing here, in my private corner of the universe.com.
Cool, well, let's get back to bed. I'll try not to dream of me sleeping on a cot/hamock in an old house. If for no other reason than it's depressing (and yet more exhausting) to dream of trying to sleep.
Not many more nights like this left for this winter.
So, take the good with the bad.
Though thinking about it now, 11ish to almost 5am is about 6 hours sleep, so not too bad tonight- but for the past while I've been having a rough time sleeping through the night, leaving me drained for the next day. I tried to remedy this last wednesday by walking out to pick up my comics (as opposed to driving)- even at the height of my powers, running to and from the store is an hour and ten minutes of exercise- I'm abominably far from the height of my powers, so this trip was longer still.
But yes, instead of helping me sleep that night it just left me even more physically drained for the next two days.
Ran into an old friend today- he looked tired, worried, and kinda... old. I'm worried about the guy- which is great in the sense that it makes me forget my troubles for a second.
News on the personal writing front: the comic blog I'd talked about starting up with Jimmy has transmogrified a bit- you know I write weekly reviews over at mondomagazine.net, right? Well, that site is splintering into a new comics focused site, where the regular writers (plus Jimmy) are each gaining "editor" status/power and we'll be in charge of our own stuff. This is actually a pretty sweet turn of events- any legitimacy and readers we have from Mondo will presumably follow us to the new site, not to mention the web acumen of the Mondo staff helping out my cyber lameness.
Instead of just weekly reviews, I'm also going to do an article on old issues of the Superboy series, an article on comics that were influential to me growing up (there's mostly just the first article that's crossover between those two topics), plus "Random Reviews" taking a comic I'm not usually following and giving it a read, and I'm sure there'll be other stuff as well.
I'll also take the unusual track of self promoting the new site- posting the link on facebook whenever I update and the like. Maybe that'd be the whole of it, but yeah, that may get us SOME additional traffic.
As opposed to my quietly writing here, in my private corner of the universe.com.
Cool, well, let's get back to bed. I'll try not to dream of me sleeping on a cot/hamock in an old house. If for no other reason than it's depressing (and yet more exhausting) to dream of trying to sleep.
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