Friday, December 30, 2011

Written on the 29th... mostly just railing against the horribleness

Need to get back to bed after a fitful five… ah, no, four hours. I dreamt of music practices where I just couldn’t get my stand in order, my instrument prepared, I couldn’t play the music at all. Horrible. I had that variety of dream a few years back when I got back into playing in the orchestra and band and whatnot. I didn’t need to worry so much about the band, but the dream came scarily close to reality with the orchestra.

I also dreamed I was with a friend of mine who tends towards the antagonistic, that we were suddenly surrounded by a gang of gun toting individuals. Completely surrounded, my antagonistic friend decided to whip out his own gun, fearlessly escalating the situation. I couldn’t help but admire how this dream version stuck to his principles of questioning why these people were giving us a hard time, even as I hated him for making a bad situation so much worse. Interestingly, I’ve never actually dreamed of being shot before- well, now I have. Fortunately my perspective almost immediately shifted, first to my friends place, then back to me, uninjured. Uh, dodged that bullet I guess.

At a party last night, one I’d been looking forward to for quite some time. Unfortunately I invited someone to come with that ended up completely disappointing me by not showing up (despite a surprising number of text messages telling me she was on her way… have to hand it to her on that one, I’ve never been ditched before while in relatively constant communication with the ditcher)

It’s very likely I will see her tonight, she lives where I work, so here are a couple options on how this conversation may go down:

a) Oh man, I’m so sorry I didn’t make it out.

Me: Well, yeah, I’m pretty unhappy about that. You kept saying you weren’t going to let me down but you did anyway. Frankly, it’s pretty disrespectful. (<- careful now, this is where it turns south)

How could you say that… I’ve just got a lot of stuff going on right now… etc. etc., something to that effect.

Me: Ah, listen, I apologize, it’s not a big deal, don’t even worry about it.

OR

b) Oh man, I’m so sorry I didn’t make it out.

Me: It’s not a big deal, don’t even worry about it.

Fin

So see, the advantage in the second version of our little production, is that I don’t end up having to apologize for anything so crazy as having hurt feelings. So that’s a plus.

If it seems cynical that I’m already going over a conversation in my head that hasn’t actually happened yet, well, that’s because I can be pretty cynical.

P.S.- it's fine, it's fine, I had a glass of egg nog, I'm fine, it's fine. But seriously, just say you're not coming. Then I wouldn't have checked my phone every minute of the evening waiting for the message that it was time to fetch you from the subway station.

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