A vicious cycle of reading what I wrote

Words written here are in ink, not pencil.

That's an idea from 'the social network' movie, actually it was just a throwaway line but it stayed with me because it's a lesson I've always adhered to as something of a natural instinct. I'm always very careful to do my best to only write here (or anywhere really) what effects me, what reflects on me.

For example: the word "write"- I texted it to someone today (there was context, I don't just randomly text words to people) and it looked so wrong to me. I basically forgot how to spell "write". I'm a writER. That's one of the few things I'll acknowledge being after a few hums and haws.

Therefore, pretty embarrassing to me. Not really a big deal, but then it's not my job to make myself look like a huge idiot, is it? (of course if no one else is going to do it...)

So if I wanted to talk about someone else, I'm, at the most generous, restricted to the most abstract generalities.

generous/generalities- oh yes, I noticed that/ Is it sloppy to leave those words together in that line? Not a big deal.

Went to see 'the social network' with some friends, most of whom I haven't seen in a while or longer, then we chilled out at a Firkin where I had some fish and chips.

Got an out of the blue text that I'm uuumm interested in.

Now I feel sick, potentially the worst kind of sick, when your throat is just a little bit slower to respond and you have a touch of fever, a touch of headache- the point where you can say "noo I'm not. definitely not sick." before you usually get sick.

I often do well to get better at this point, get a good night rest and back in action. We'll see.

"back in action"- what am I doing there? That's a kind of stock cultural phrase, probably a leftover from WW II where being in action was the good thing to be.

I seem to write a fair amount that would be incomprehensible to someone without the correct cultural framework to understand it with. Though I'm sure I know people that are far worse than me. Or better, depending on your point of view.

To clarify "worse than me"- at writing something incomprehensible to people without the proper framework. I wanted to be clear. Don't worry, it'll pass.

my head.. you know I'm messed up when I go to do my evening teeth cleaning and just forget to floss. "doop do- time to do the exact same thing I do every evening- well how do you like that? I seem to have skipped several steps for no apparent reason."

It's a small thing, but it happened, and I tend to be more deliberate than that.

For example, two "paragraphs" (more like four lines ago, hardly paragraphs) I didn't capitalize my first word. Why the discrepancy? Just felt like it. Perhaps it was an attempt, given the lines content, to further simulate the immediacy of a natural thought process/thought speech? That would make sense.

Man, I bet you wish I'd stop pointing out things I wrote immediately after I wrote them as if I had something to prove.

You know what? I'm in bed now. That's happening.