Norm MacDonald says "you know" and "uh" a lot, and it's awesome

I did it.

Friday from 3pm to 11pm
Saturday from 2pm to 8pm
Sunday from 2pm to 7pm
Monday from 3pm to 9pm
Tuesday from 2pm to 9pm
Wednesday from 12pm to 9pm
Thursday from 12pm to 9pm
Friday from 12pm to 9pm
Saturday from 7am to 6pm

All told that's 70 hours I worked standing around. Needless to say my feet are killing me, and I'm hunched over like I'm a million years old.

This week felt like it would never end. Actually today's wasn't too bad until the end, I mostly talked to people instead of just standing around.

Highlights include when I told a guy I was more a paper and pen guy and he responded "yeah, paper and pen and NUNCHUKS", and when I got called with the job interview (but even better when I was called with a job offer), and when I showed a goofy doodle to this cute girl Jane who laughed.

I met a bunch of cool people this week, but seeing as I'm a non person (i.e. security) I only existed on the periphery of peoples experience. So that's cool, that's how it usually goes anyways, but it was interesting to see that in this sort of quick microcosm format.

I'm watching Norm MacDonald on Comedy right now- Norm did an interview on the Daily Show the other day and my brother Jordan commented on my face being one of pure joy for the interview. That's the kind of comment I'd usually only expect from me written right here. Coming from Jordan- it's a promising omen. Now if he'll just be less cynical about abstract art, we may be getting somewhere.

I was counting on getting a ride home from the fairview mall after my 11 hour shift, but I couldn't reach anyone at home, so I walked the hour or so, carrying the big plastic bag of hopefully-not-worn-before-but-I-know-that's-pretty-unlikely-other-security-guard-shirts-so-they-can-be-picked-up-from-my-home-later-even-though-my-contract-with-the-company-is-now-up-so-this-is-really-weird, but it was all good, because it was a beautiful day and I took the detour through the road whose name I forget at the moment but it's pretty deserted so I could belt out songs.

I've really gotta learn more full lyrics. Once I got to Victoria Park and 401 I remembered old timey Lion King and then El Dorado... so big Elton John kick kinda.

I was having a lot of fun, then I got a call that was worrisome but then it turned out to be absolutely nothing, so I don't know why my walk had to be ruined, immediately throwing the weight of 11 hours of standing back on me.

I've been excited about my upcoming full time concierge job at a condo- tons of reading shall happen. I'm thinking of finally taking a long look at the oeuvre of that guy I love to say I hate- Ernest Hemingway. Let's form a not joke opinion on the guy.

Speaking of which, it took forever to remember John Steinbeck's name today, but at least I didn't have to google it like Virginia Woolf made me do.

Oh yeah, but get this- I was worried that my job would be too tough, because I THOUGHT they were 18 hour days, so I've been psyching myself up for the impossible 18 hours- now I look at the schedule again, and it's actually 12 hours with a 12 hour break then 6 hours. MAN I can do that standing on my head!

You know... after thinking it was the 18 hours.

I wanted to mention a dream I had a couple days ago. I travelled to a place called "Awesome Island" where you see a thing in an idealized form. So a guy writes his signature down and when you go to look at it it's become a sweet picture of a guy standing in that Bruce Lee ready to fight pose. I saw another signature that turned into a guy going for a high five. I didn't get to see my signatures picture unfortunately.

Standing under an awning, looking out into some rain, I asked the person standing out in the rain what they were experiencing. The person said it was like the dance number from Singing in the Rain. That's pretty awesome.

Then there was the part where a guy who everyone KNOWS has advanced cancer is on the island for tests, but he now looks absolutely normal and his test results come back amazingly positive.

So the dark secret of Awesome Island is that you shouldn't go there for accurate medical testing.

This dream was remarkably internally consistent.

I had an idea for a cool story today, about what the world would be like if through social media and technologically near instantaneous communication the whole world became convinced the end of the world was here, but it turned out to not be true. Then I remembered "yeah, that certainly IS a great story... courtesy of Orson Welles performance of H.G. 'Wells War of the Worlds'"

So... ah, it's still a good idea.