It's probably better if you don't tell me what to do

because if you tell me what to do, my knee jerk reaction is to do the opposite.

I'm basically the worlds worst chess player: "hmm hmm, yes, I see, so then you'll do this, then I'll respond with this, then you'll do this, etc. etc."

Then I'll respond: "NO WAY! YOU DON'T CONTROL ME!" Before making a random move that doesn't help me at all, and in fact will probably make me lose in like two turns or so.

I'd prefer to think of it as me, when given only two choices, taking a third option (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeAThirdOption).

So last week I was with a friend of mine and I'd bought a bar of Hershey's chocolate... and I forget how this happened exactly but the end result was him saying "I do not actually want you to make that chocolate bar into a horse."

Now I have to do it.

"Seriously, you don't have to do it."

That's it- I'm definitely doing it! So I went home and the result was: