That was pretty close- a car making with the left turns very nearly hit me. I gave a quick little dodge forward, and of course gave the requisite angry look to the driver- but I wasn't really even close to angry.
Why?
Because I hold very firmly to the belief that it takes two to tango, two to create an accident- you know the second I placed foot to street I was watching that car like a hawk. Well, a hawk that watches the car turning left, but also both sides of the street, because that's a concern too.
And of course like a hawk that doesn't have that birds eye view going on, so he doesn't get to kind of take the scene in all at once before getting busy staring at a vole or something.
Okay, so I wasn't watching like a hawk, more like some very attentive crossing guard.
Thank you Isaac how very... accurate.
Worst simile ever?
Or maybe... best one ever?
No, no, I was right the first time.
***
I forgot to mention this before- but last Sunday I drifted between states of consciousness in front of the television and caught the latter half of the Simpsons and pretty much all of Family Guy. Pretty sure there was a half hour in between those two things that I completely didn't register, but that's not what I'm interested in at the moment.
What I'm interested in: ordinarily I'll be pretty slow to criticise a show or somesuch, I may not have the proper context for viewing, it's possible (I guess) that I just didn't get it, etc., etc., whatever. You have to give things a chance, or try to anyways. But I was actually full on disgusted with that Family Guy episode. Flinching back from the screen disgusted.
There were two stories to follow- Brian the Dog writes a brilliant screenplay for a drama that gets picked up by CBS, but however good his intentions are for it the network guys manage to mess it up by reverting to formula- change the format to a comedy, instead of Elijah Wood they hire James Woods (oh, now I get why they used that pair), age up the daughter character for "hawtness" sake, and of course getting a monkey sidekick.
All well and good.
But the second story was..
I seriously couldn't just change the channel?
Stewie gets knocked down the stairs by the two older kids and by the time he lands he has a huge gash across his head and his arm appears to be dislocated. Instead of getting him to a hospital they play "Weekend at Bernie's" with him, stringing him around like a puppet with various wacky hats covering his head injury which does the opposite of heal. It laeh's. It's gross.
So say that second story is half the episode, 11 minutes- that's 11 minutes (feels much longer)!
This is actually something I can't imagine anyone finding funny.
In theory that second story is the reductio ad absurdum of various wacky hijinks that may wind up on a bad sitcom- taking what happened to Brian's show in story and applying it to the outer world of the Family Guy cast themselves.
That would almost be impressive- to waste an entire episode illustrating how "network guys" can ruin a show. Daring move. However this was just in poor taste.
And of course I don't believe the Family Guy writers are capable of that level of forethought. With them it's just a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense.
Argh, they don't deserve a Han Solo quote affiliated with them.
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