Monday, February 15, 2016

February 6th, 2016



It's 12:04 pm on the 10th, and this post deals with the 5th- I had left my laptop at my apartment, so the only notes I have for this day are what I recorded in my notebook during my trip. Which is, naturally, plenty good enough to jog my memory for the remaining details. You may be interested in my notes as I've copied them here, so below is the framework I'm dealing with to expand into my post:
morning and plane ride
hair cut okay on the 15th things I learned about Spring Festival
tree people that feed on CO2/smog- take over Planet of the Apes style
lunch with Vicky and Dany at some kind of chinese fast food equivalent, wontons? bread stick and soy milk
Joy- our sort of guide in Wuhan- bow hair clip, brush-like pony tail
nap at Home Inn
sketchy dealings, new hotel
purchased vivo phone usb slight deal thanks to Dany
Little kid in Burger King, points and says "a white one!" then says in the cutest way "good evening!"
The BK chicken burger was spicy, because of course it was
Grade letter/smiley face system health inspection
Chinese tv

I got up at 4 something in the morning, not sure exactly, likely it was 4:30- about 2 hours and 40 minutes of sleep. Of course I had my cold shower to wake me up. I was supposed to meet Dany at the subway entrance just north of Roosevelt at 5:50- I left at 5:40, so I did not have time to leave a note with Aiman or to stop at my bank and see whether or not I'd gotten my sweet sweet pay. It required some jogging, I nearly crashed into a guy who turned a corner onto my path, and passed by some food vendors planted on the street that are never there during the more wholesome hours of the day, but I made it right on time- but no sign of Dany. My bank was RIGHT there, and I considered going to the ATM and checking my balance, but I didn't want to risk missing Dany. 

At 5:54 there Dany was, slightly hurried(harried?) and he said something like "I'm just late, I'm sorry, there's no excuse" and I told him not to worry, the doors to the subway only opened the minute before and I'm contractually obligated to go easy on late people. I didn't actually use the phrase "contractually obligated" though I wouldn't have put it passed myself to use.

Okay- let's, for the first time, use the subway here in Dalian!

We get down there and we were on the wrong line for the airport.

Okay- let's, once again, take a taxi to where we want to go in Dalian!

The taxi took a completely different path towards the airport than my experience coming in- travelling west and... turning left/south? Maybe this is the taxi driver that murders us and wears our skin. And yet, somehow, we ended up at the airport, despite my protestations that this can't possibly be the same place that I arrived at. I'm still not really convinced.

Dany and I went in search of a particular gate- the numbers on the gates are all, you know, numbers, 3's and 7's and whatever, something even I should be able to navigate. But no, we walked in the direction of where we were supposed to, according to all logic, go, and instead of finding the correct number we found a mysterious darkened hallway that led to nowhere but skin wearing taxi drivers. Or something, I don't know, we didn't actually go down there.

Dany called Vicky, who was to accompany us, and she was with us soon. She gave Dany his passport back, so there's that problem solved- she actually flew back in from Wuhan the day before specifically to get Dany his passport for this trip- I asked about whether or not this was the same place that I had first arrived in, and Vicky's answer led me to believe that this wasn't- I made an exultant cry of "I KNEW IT!" but then she re-phrased somehow to change reality and say that I'm wrong. I don't know about this.

I brought along my smart phone, as I had read from a travellers blog that I could outfit the thing with whatever it needed at the airport- I was intent on getting a phone/translation device on payday, and this trip was screwing that up. Was there anyplace here at the airport I could get this phone thing going? No. Ah. Well, can we get it fixed up in Wuhan (the name of the city we were travelling to is Wuhan, I don't think I've mentioned that yet)? No, you need to get it set up in the city you're staying in. I see. And do you think I'll be able to get it done, in Dalian, during Spring Festival (when everything is shut down)? Hmm no.

I should mention that it wasn't until meeting Dany that morning that I learned that this trip to Wuhan was a several days long affair. Had I known that I'd have brought my laptop. And a change of underclothes. Pyjamas. Maybe a toothbrush, but I'm not fancy. I had assumed that this would be a sort of jaunt over there, fill out some paper work, then back to Dalian for my 3pm English Corner. Not so much. How hard would it have been to say "yeah, you'll be gone for a couple of days"? At least I got to skip out on the English Corner. 

I was told Wuhan was situated to the south west, across China- wow, will I be able to look out my window and see India? No, we won't be going THAT far. Do you want to go to India? Not really, but if I'm nearby...

We picked up our boarding passes, but there was a slight snag with mine- the name on my pass just read as "MILLS".  I'm not sure I've made it to "CHER" or "MADONNA" levels of notoriety yet, and Vicky agreed as she took us to an information booth to get that fixed up... well, eventually we were at that booth, we had to go to a couple of different people and lines before ending up there. The official at this booth looked at the pass, looked at my passport, took a pen and wrote "Isaac" after "MILLS" and then stamped the whole enchilada. Voila, fixed. These guys and their stamps, man, I'm telling you.

We got through our security pat downs and whatnot and walked towards our gate- we turned back around when Dany thought he'd lost his boarding pass at security, Vicky rushed back before Dany said "no, it's okay, I got it". Pockets can be tricky, it happens. We passed by a first class security entrance and I joked that at this entrance the security pat down is either more or less thorough depending on your preference. Vicky said she was sure it was the same. 

I'm hilarious, trust me.

I asked about this one Chinese character, an X with a box surrounding three sides of the X (er, I forget which three sides...)- it was a symbol that pops up a lot, and, compared to most of the characters you see, was simple enough that you could almost imagine it being in, you know, some kind of alphabet or something- turns out it means "area".

At the gate I spent the time before boarding experimenting with whether or not I could charge my phone at the charging station here. I was able to turn it on, which convinced me that SOMETHING, whether it was the cord available there, or the cord borrowed from Vicky, was charging my phone. My current experience tells me that there was likely just still some power in the thing and I only managed to turn it on. Which is still a successful first move.

Also I used the bathroom, which had soap, which supported my theory about this not being the same place I landed in. And the water pressure in the sink was, you know, better than a trickle. Maybe that trickle thing was the bathroom in Korea and I'm mixing it up? Pshht not likely, I don't make mix-ups.

My single named, pen and stamp corrected boardingpass wasn't an issue and we walked through the gate, outside, to a waiting bus that drove us out to the plane on the runway. At this point I'm carrying my jacket- it's cold outside, but with so many people crammed on the bus, it was a hot ride even if it was short.

We climbed up the steps, boarding the plane, Vicky and Dany sat together and I got a window seat on my own, which took away any social pressure to make conversation and gave me a sweet view.

Okay, let me take a break here, it's 12:57 pm and I want to get some exercise and go out and grab food- there's still a LOT to cover with this day.

9:36 am... okay, that was a long break.

I was given an English language version of the Chinese newspaper- the short version is everything is great but also getting better- too tired to read, I rested my head against the inside of the plane, but as it kicked into gear I was re-energized- if there's trouble with the takeoff I want to be awake, also I like watching the ground disappear. Not that I'm very experienced with planes, but this one seemed to start especially fast, it got airborne quickly. Among the sights to be seen from the sky, mountains to the north, it looks like there's snow and ice on the water (there's approximately zero snow in Dalian right now- the last few days I've been ditching the sweater and toque business), there was an area of weird square chunks taken out of the ground- I assume there'll be buildings going up there- and there are suburbs of tall buildings, diamond shapes of land crammed with identical buildings all over the place. Whoever designed or built those places has got to be pretty wealthy now.

We got over the icy water soon, which confused me- how is there this much ice? I guess that's winter for you. Ah, but also, how is there this much water? The answer to that is I guess I underestimated the size of whatever you call the body of water surrounding Dalian- the place is kind of like Monster Island, in that it's like a peninsula.

Vicky had told us the flight would be three hours, the captain announced... or, someone announced, I think it was a male voice, and all the stewards were women, whatever, SOMEONE announced that the flight was two hours. I fell asleep, I couldn't tell you for how long, but I woke up to the stewards passing by with juice and "seaweed covered peanuts" and a sticky note in front of my telling me that they didn't want to disturb me and that if I want some snacks later to call for a steward. I sort of waved them back right away, they took the note away and I got orange juice and "seaweed covered peanuts"- I continue to put quotation marks around "seaweed covered peanuts" because upon closer visual and tastebud inspection the "seaweed" part seemed inaccurate. Rather there was some slightly sweet, baked coating, with dark pieces that COULD have been seaweed if it didn't taste so much like chocolate that I think it was chocolate.

I could go for some of those peanut things right now. Hmm, maybe I should eat some breakfast.

How is it even possible to bite your lip? Does a dog ever bite its own lip? Is this because we can talk? Is that even a fair trade off?

In the pocket in front of me was a red ipad type thing, the operation of which was good practice for my upcoming smart phone ownership- the button on the right turns it on, I see, I see- there was an option for an English mode, but I accidentally skipped it, I had to turn the whole thing off and on to get back there. There was a list of movies, but I only ever saw trailers, as well as some articles about China, so the first thing I looked up was regarding the cultural practices around Spring Festival. 

Let's see what I remember- you do some spring cleaning to sweep out the bad luck of the previous year, but once the festival starts you DON'T do any cleaning or sweeping, because that's you sweeping out the good luck for the coming year. You don't get a haircut during this time because the Chinese word for 'hair' is similar to the word for luck or fortune or something, and it's bad luck to drop your chopsticks during this time, but if you do drop them someone can save you by saying something like "may you have a prosperous year". Something like that, that's how I remembered it anyways.

In other article news, there's an historical site that's a two hour trek from its nearest village- it's an ancient mural etched or painted (I forget which) into the rock wall depicting a 100+ person orgy, with some of the men drawn more as tripods than anything realistically accurate. There weren't any pictures, this is just what the article told me.

There was a video of an American woman that is a professor of Chinese studies or something, so that video was mostly spoken English. I also read a 'best of 2015' list for the years best movies and movie posters. The reviews must not translate well into English- but everyone agrees this movie "The Assassin" is tops: a centuries old story about a woman assassin that is assigned to eliminate her only love. Sounds cool.

Flying into Wuhan, it must have been about 10:30, and there are a number of squares cut into the ground, and these squares are either green or full of water. It's likely this is some farming technique, or else a number of fields got flooded. The sky was a little hazy, and everything felt orange. We were definitely south, definitely in a warmer climate.

Hopping into a taxi, we travelled into Wuhan proper- the airport is rather out of the way in a horrible wasteland, like Pearson in Mississauga(sp? ah, who cares if I spell that awful place correctly). I didn't time how long exactly it took to get into the city, but it must have almost been an hour, an hour spent drinking in as much of the locale as possible. The first thing I asked about were these weird maybe solar panels on top of the roofs of tons of buildings... Dany suggested they were heaters, and, after returning to Dalian, I realized they were everywhere here as well. Whoops.

Then I asked about the population size of Wuhan, and Vicky guessed something over 10 million. Wow, so it's somewhere between 10 million and, what are we at now, 8 billion people on this planet? I'm kidding, there's no reason Vicky would have to know the answer to the question, and ten million sounds good. It definitely FELT bigger than Dalian; tall, web-slingable buildings were everywhere... er, as long as your spidey senses warned you about any crumbled buildings in time. There were plenty of nice, new buildings, but tucked inside there were some half destroyed/collapsed buildings, plus we drove by some areas with a larger ratio of sucky buildings to nice ones.

Okay, let's finish this post! 7:15 pm on the 12th! We can do this!

This has little to do with anything, but I was thinking about some kind of Planet of the Apes style story that featured tree people that thrived in all the pollution we've created. I guess the note was fairly self explanatory. Or just totally irrelevant.

Vicky suggested we pick up some lunch, so we entered what looked like a fast food place, but it was all Chinese food. I know that sentence sounds stupid, like, buh, of course they sold Chinese food, but I kind of think of Chinese food as a sit down at a decent table type of affair, nothing like this quick and dirty fast food business. Well, I got some kind of combo, I thought it was something with a drink, but my drink was actually a container of uh, wontons? Maybe that's what wontons are.

Dany dropped his chopsticks and I immediately said "may you have a prosperous year". Vicky laughed, so I think I said the correct thing, even if it was in English. I'm assuming Vicky laughed out of surprise at my cultural versatility.

Dany was also feeling the bread stick looking things that went for four yuan. We went halvsies, ordering via Vicky who had waited to order until after Dany and I got food and secured our table. We were surprised to find that, instead of the bread stick business Vicky returned with some hot soy milk. They're next to each other on the menu, so this isn't a big miscommunication, but on the other hand, it costs 1 yuan more than the bread sticks. Did someone think we were ripping them off, and then covering the cost? So I got up to order the bread sticks for real this time, and claimed the soy milk for my own- and WOW was that loaded up with sugar. Chee-ee! Obviously it was good- I think the trick to it was having tons of sugar. I could be wrong, just a theory.

We finished our meal just before being joined by Joy, a slightly older woman with a bow hair clip and a brush-like pony tail (again, fairly obvious use of my notes- they can't all be clever fake outs... if any of them were, I don't know, faking you out wasn't the goal here...) who walked us around the corner to a Home Inn- just like where I stayed when I first came to Dalian!- Dany and I were asked if we were cool to share a room, and sure, it was fine. We had to wait a bit, or maybe Joy and Vicky just took mercy on us, regardless we were invited to chill out in the hotel until 2:30. I immediately ditched my long johnnys and sweater and whatnot and napped like I'd never napped before. 

Okay, that was hyperbole, I'd napped like that before, but it was definitely good. It got a little cold at the tail end of it, but that's just natures alarm clock. Hmm, no, having to pee is natures alarm clock, I think this just meant Dany opened a window.

2:30 came, and with it arrived Joy and Vicky, ready to wisk me away to the police station to register something- we zig-zagged in the taxi to the police station, like Dalian the police station is not an impressive affair. What happened next is sort of my interpretation because it was all in Chinese, but here's my impression: I needed to register with the police where I lived in Wuhan, because, for the purposes of my entry into China, I live and teach in Wuhan (pretty sketchy dudes, verging on illegality, aren't we? We're at least stretching the truth here... and by "stretching" I mean lying. Yeah, seems to be lying.) but the police guy wasn't having it- and I assume it's because he doesn't buy me living at the Home Inn.

So we leave, hop into another taxi and end up at a new, much fancier hotel. They talk to the guy at the desk, who I guess invites us to go check out a room- we go up to the 11th floor in an elevator that is on the side of the building so I can look out at the scenery on the way up- hey, look, clothes being dried on a clothesline, how about that?- and we meet what appears to be some kind of manager who takes us into the room, but we immediately turn around and leave, because we don't actually need to see any rooms, we need to register rooms. Back to the front desk, we go back and forth with the desk guy, perhaps he's wigged out about whatever documentation Joy is asking for, because I'm just betting she's asking for a receipt that says I've been here since January. A tiny amount of money exchanges hands- a pathetically small bribe? Maybe.

The new, fancier room acquired, we headed back to the Home Inn to collect Dany and go upscale- actually I was asked if I wanted to move into this hotel for the duration of my stay in Wuhan, and I was like, it's nicer AND it comes with breakfast. Yes please! Dany wasn't crazy about moving since he was halfway through a download, but, well, China ain't a democracy, pal (I didn't mention I unilaterally made the decision). Before meeting back up with Dany we stopped at this duck place so Vicky could load up before heading back to the airport- yup, she's going back and leaving Dany and I to fend for ourselves. Well, at least she left some moderately detailed notes for the remainder of our trip. 

Anyways, after we exited the duck place I said something like "yup, when in Wuhan you gotta get the duck" and Vicky replied with a "Hmmmyes." We chased after a taxi which overshot us to send Vicky on her way, and I did that hilarious thing where I use my long legs to easily run past Vicky.

With Vicky gone, Dany and I got set up in our new digs- the new hotel was actually within walking distance of the Home Inn, and when we entered the room for the first time the tv turned on with a welcoming jingle... which it never did again at any other time when we entered the room. Man, set me up for a heartbreak, room, love 'em and leave 'em, that's your style.

We went in search of food, but first made a stop at a Bank of Communications so I could see whether or not I was paid- man, that bank was really out of the way, I thought it would be much closer. Anyways, the bank was interesting- instead of a row of ATM's, there's a row of ATM's locked within individual cubicles. I was actually locked in for a second before figuring out how to get out- I didn't lock the thing in the first place, so it was automatic! Or I forgot that I locked it! But probably the first thing. 

According to my ATM friend my account was sitting at just shy of 6000 yuan. This was surprising, as I'd expected it to be just shy of 4000 yuan after the plane ticket deduction. Then again, everything was so rushed and last minute, the Web people probably didn't have time to deduct the pay. I know that sounds crazy, a company not having time to take money from its employees, but you maybe aren't appreciating how fast everything about this Wuhan trip came together. I withdrew 500 yuan- there's a 2.50 yuan service fee, do you accept? Ugh, yes. Do you want a receipt? It costs another 2.50 yuan. Psht, no thanks! So this explains how this bank doesn't have monthly fees or anything.

Full disclosure: I don't actually know why my account wasn't sitting at an even 6000, but it was close enough that even ol' skinflint Isaac doesn't care that much about the difference.

Wandering past a street vendor person selling phone accessories, I purchased a usb style phone charger for my new phone, and, thanks to Dany's "hmm, it's kind of expensive" catchphrase I got 5 yuan off, down to 15, nice.

We ended up trying Chinese Burger King, where we got a chicken burger thing. It wasn't very good, so it basically matches the quality of Burger King in the west. Great job, guys, you did it! For a bit of local flavour, the chicken burger WAS spicy though, because of course it was.

A little kid is walking out of the restaurant, points and says "a white one!" then says in the cutest way "good ev-en-ing!" That was a pretty strong reaction, I've been seeing a fair number of white people around, but whatever, his cuteness powers were overwhelming.

The restaurant had a prominent notice from its health inspection, a Grade letter/smiley face combo system. This Burger King had a... I think it was a C with a smiley face. Could be worse (we go to a worse place tomorrow).

The rest of the evening is spent with Chinese tv, I was particularly interested in finally watching some of the "Armour Heroes" show. Disappointingly, it is more Power Rangers than Kamen Rider but for the whole time I was watching I only saw the characters in their armour, there was no dynamic dialogue, the shots were long and lazy, as though they filmed the whole thing in one, MAYBE two takes. The effects where the characters call on their weapons aren't nearly as seamless as it is on Power Rangers (or other Japanese shows of its like)... all in all, a very unimpressive display.

However, I have much better things to say about a team of transforming pig characters- I think that's in the post for Sunday.

Aw yeah, then I enjoyed the sweet pillows and blankets, man it was nice. Even if I didn't have pajamas and was reduced to sleeping in my undershirt and long johnnys.


8:20 pm on the 12th, that's that post finished! Finally!

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