January 4th, 2016

1:18 am

Once again, I've just woken up early after going to sleep around 7 something-8 something pm. Hopefully I won't take 3 hours to write this like I've done the last few days- seriously, why (how?!) do I take so long?

Happy to report that I woke up a little sweaty- so I've regained the ability to sweat. Which is to say, I've been introduced to a water, um, dispensary at work that I repeatedly filled my cheapo hotel water bottles at. Another consequence of returning to near my usual water consumption is that my urine is getting back to that clearer colour I love so very very much. Still slightly stronger smelling than I'd prefer. I'm looking forward to increasing my fruit and vegetable consumption levels to pre-China levels.

Too much information? Too bad- the health and maintenance of my body is one of my chief concerns, and you'll definitely be hearing a lot about it. Minus certain details. Ladies choice, amirite? (in this instance, I'm referring to myself as a lady)

Along a similar vein, I'm very glad I didn't pursue a job in Shanghai, because even in Dalian with its relatively superlative air quality I'm still neurotically thinking "how's my breathing? Am I having trouble breathing? Aughh I am, aren't I?!" Psychosomatic? Self-fulfilling prophecy? What's the word- nebbish? I'm certainly not the classic choice for someone you'd expect to wander into China- which I find hilarious.

I'm greatly enjoying the mental exercise (and arguably, the freedom) of having to rely on my own abilities to spell check myself and dig through my own head for my vocabulary, instead of always zipping to Google to check if I'm using a word right or spelling it correctly. I had to spell Ottawa in class today, and you know I had to write it as "Ottowa" to see which one was right. So sue me, it doesn't come up THAT often.

In related news, I still have had no internet access. In theory I'm connected to the hotels wi-fi right now, but I clearly need a password to navigate beyond the main page, and I could barely communicate with the staff here enough to get the room I pre-paid for, so I've given up internet in the immediate future as a lost cause.

The computers at work have internet access, AND they don't require any login password- but the internet there is so slow to be on the verge of useless. I tried to access my hotmail account, but it asked for an additional code to verify I was me, because it thought it was hinky that I was accessing it in China- I could either get the code texted to me (nope, remember my phone charger is in Canada, so my phone is dead) or I could get the access code sent to my i_zak@yahoo.com e-mail. I went to yahoo and I was able to login without any issue (should I be worried about the security standards at yahoo? Based on my garbage e-mail in that account, definitely) so great! I clicked on the option to receive the code in that e-mail account, got it, and entered it int the hotmail account... "incorrect code".

UUUMM! That's a problem. I don't know why that didn't work, so that's messed up.

My co-worker Adeel offered to let me phone home using his device, but since all my phone numbers are on my cell phone I had to pass...

I'll let you know now, when I returned to the hotel this evening I turned my cellphone back on, it immediately flashed "LOW BATTERY RE-CHARGE" or something along those lines and I quickly copied out my family's phone numbers, followed by a quick text to Simon along the lines of "Hi Simon, forgot charger at home, almost out of power, no internet yet, I'm fine" or something similarly alarmingly cryptic. But it sent, and I will surely get hit with a high roaming fee, and it's better than nothing.

Push ups wise, I did 20, took a knee, finished the last 5. I know that sounds lame, but I'm not planning on doing mutliple sets until I'm spending more than 20 RMB a day on food. Have to conserve energy. I'd have this mindset even if I didn't watch "The Martian" on the plane ride over, but it certainly reinforced that tendency.

I was told to report to work for 9am. I arrived a little before 8:30 (there is a digital clock flashing at the entrance to the Roosevelt Center's underground parking on the west side of the building- I didn't have a watch for myself, because, again, my cell phone has no power), as I said in my last post, I want to start a reputation for being on time. So naturally all the doors are locked tight with sort of... what do you call those devices you affix to your cars steering wheel to prevent theft? They were popular in the 90's, but now people are mostly "ugh, fine, if you break into my car just take it" THE CLUB! Is that it?... all the doors are locked tight with a club looking lock on the inside of the doors, or a heavy chain wrapped around the outside, and more often than not there's a security guard standing by inside (those poor saps) waiting to open up... at 9? At 5 to 9? I don't know!

I wandered around the perimeter of the Roosevelt Center, happy to find the one clock to tell me when it was time to go in, thinking maybe I should have worn my touque, maybe my coat (it's been really nice here, temperature wise, but maybe not quite "standing-around-outside-for-half-an-hour-in-a-button-up-flannel-shirt-and-scarf-only" nice) I saw one guard approach his doors from the inside and I thought "Yes! He's about to open up!" But then he just added a chain to the already clubbed up locked doors. And I started laughing, because that's hilarious.

I weighed my options about whether or not I should get breakfast at McDonald's before 9. I understand it's expensive to eat western food, and I kind of wanted to stick to eating at the Food Bazzar where I've got my prepaid card all ready to go... but if the doors are only open a 9 then I have negative time to get food, and breakfast is, I hope you know, the most important meal of the day.

Obviously I decided to go without.

There was an entrance on the north end of the center that workers were allowed in, after flashing some kind of employment card. I have no employment card, and I certainly don't speak the language enough to make a case for why they should definitely make the exception and let me in. I'm told even the veteran language teachers don't have an I.D. card like that, so that entrance isn't going to be an option for me in the future.

A woman said a friendly "Hello" to me before switching right into Chinese, and didn't quite seem to understand my shrugging motion of "I don't know what you're saying". I'm not sure if she's mentally all there, based on the quality of her voice and expression. As I walked away she walked in a circle always stepping onto her right heel before clicking it flatfooted. It was a sort of eccentric, free-spirited thing to do.

Returning to the western side of the Center to look at the clock again, 8:49. I waited for the 8:50 change then started counting seconds, walking around the perimeter until I found a main entrance with people waiting to go inside. I reached 7 minutes before they opened the door. Most stores had a representative employee waiting in front of their doors to greet prospective shoppers, and their was a song playing that struck me as "national anthem"-ish. I was assuming it was okay to continue walking to work based on the fact that I could see other employees inside the stores working at getting things ready for the day.

Entering Web International, I went into the staff room to see the time on the clock-in device- 9:02. But I don't actually have any kind of login to use for it yet, so trying to log in before the 9am mark was a futile effort anyways.

After some confusion I found my schedule of classes for the day, and the lesson plans I was to follow, though some leeway with the material was encouraged by my fellow teacher- something I noticed while observing the day before. Reading through I saw that I was asked to get some in class materials ready- "Hey man, it says I'm supposed to have some strips for this class, what's that about?"

"You have to photocopy that page and cut it into strips for the class." *Looks at time* "You should do that now."

Ah, photocopiers. How I hate you. At least this one if fairly straightforward (I'll curse you, Visa Application Center photocopier, until the day I die!)- I needed three copies of 4 different pages. I only ended up using 2 of the pages, because it was for a tough exercise of putting the strips of a story (Little Red Riding Hood) into the proper order, which ended up taking all of the class time. Also I didn't have enough time to cut up the latter 2 pages which was for a Beauty and the Beast story.

It wasn't until that evening that I noticed I copied the wrong second page for Beauty and the Beast, I re-copied a Red Riding Hood page, so that was never going to work out anyway. Whoops. CURSE YOU PHOTOCOPIERS, THIS WAS IN NO WAY MY FAULT! (totally my fault)

So, about my classes- uh, I think I may be amazing at teaching? I had an absolute blast all day, though I was often a couple of minutes late to each class (not my fault, each class ostensibly runs to the hour mark, with another class starting immediately at that hour mark- once I get my hands on a watch I won't have an issue ending class a couple of minutes before the hour and getting to where I need to go. I definitely felt dumb always asking my students how much time we had. Oh well.) the classes after a break in-between I was on time for.

I took some liberties with the material, but people seemed to be enjoying themselves. I always asked at the end how they liked they class and they responded positively- very positively, actually. Naturally I'm not sure how much is kiss-assery, but even unprompted I was told it was a very good class, and this one guy at the end of the day gave me chocolate-y (or something) bubble tea, which of course I accepted because this is the Wild East and there are basically no rules about boundaries and propriety between teacher and student at this English Center and also because I'm not in any kind of position to turn down free calories.

For one class I was supposed to print off a page for each student to fill out- sort of a form to create an imaginary business with- but when I hit up the photocopier I got a paper jam. With some assistance the jam was removed, but it didn't proceed to print, so I was all "whatever man" (PHOTOCOPIERS!!) and just drew the blanks on the clear-white erase board (all the wall is a board to draw on here, it's awesome) and made it a group exercise. That was actually my toughest class, relatively low levels of class engagement, but even then it wasn't too bad, though this one girl at the front definitely did a lot of the heavy lifting for the group as far as answering. When I asked for a hypothetical business to design around (I didn't use the word hypothetical... uh, I think) she offered "Internet Company" and I'm all "Yes, we can work with that" and so I coaxed them into coming up with a list of requirements for applicants. Experience with internet. Good. New ideas for the company. Cool. University degree in computers. Yes! Experience at other computer companies, over a year, more is better. Yes, very good!

People eventually started feeling more comfortable and began offering answers more freely- and this was the toughest class! How great is that?! 

The last class of the day was about shapes, sizes, and relative positions- I was supposed to photocopy some pages of random drawings for an exercise where, in pairs, one student describes an object to the other purely using the shape/size/relative position words and that student has to draw it. Obviously I didn't photocopy those pages (I kind of forgot, I didn't even check whether the photocopier was functional again...) so instead I picked two students to work as a team, and let them more or less choose their "victim" to go up to the board and draw what they describe. They'd always catch themselves when they instinctively tried to describe the item by, you know, what it is, or slip into Chinese, but I'd give them the "hey now-" thing and get them back on track. When the student drawing finished, then they partnered up with someone and they got to choose their victim. When this second group was looking around at the remaining students this girl at the front was doing this sort of looking-away-hard-enough-to-hopefully-become-invisible thing, which is why I was so happy when she volunteered to be the last draw person for the day! Awesome!

Also, I  got to draw a pyramid (triangle) with a man beside (next to, to the right of) a camel (also next to and to the right of) a mummy digging up in front of the pyramid (out from under) and a bird (on top of) which people seemed to get a kick out of. I certainly drew a lot today. My Einstein and Mount Rushmore's could use some work. Basically wild hair and a sticking out tongue, and blobby circles on a fingers crossed mountain range. My illustration of "dignified" was on point though.

The concept of "dignified" wasn't actually on any lesson plan, but after my class of the day was over no one really seemed in a hurry to leave, so I just talked about myself (something I'm exceptional at- I'm so sorry) and I talked about "sparing my dignity", so I explained "dignity" and "dignified" and pretty much how I'm completely lacking in it, and also I tought them about the classic "collar pull" when you're unsure of yourself, or had a close call or something. And also fingers crossed in front of you is to hope for something "I hope I get a million dollars!" versus fingers crossed behind is like "oh yeah, I'll give you a good mark on this test" *reveals crossed fingers behind back* "Oops, crossed fingers!"

(I don't have tests to mark, really, I just mark on the attentance sheet whether a student "passed" or needs to be "referred"- I've passed everyone so far, I hope I'm not being too lax, but honestly these people, to have the skills they do, all amaze me, because I'm a practically monolingual ignoramus. With "un petite peu" of french. 

Man, I hope I got that french right.

But yes, this teaching gig is so great, security jobs can suck it.

And I found out where these guys get their English names- they just make it up here! What! They apparently get help from people at the Center here, but yeah, it's their choice. Most of the names are pretty conventional, but I did have a "Queenie" today and my last class had a rascally older fellow named "Shark"- YESSSS!!!!!! You know I told him that was an awesome name.

For lunch/breakfast I picked up some (red bean?) rice and a uh, meat looking thing. Surprise, Isaac! It wasn't meat at all, it was like a cross between a honey crueller and caramel popcorn! Cool! Interesting! Tasty! In no way nutritional for myself!

For dinner I had the rice with bits of corn and ham(?) in it, with some bits of green thing that are probably a type of onion- pretty sure that's what I had for dinner yesterday as well- and then I picked up a hotdog/sausage/Hot Rod thing on a stick. It seemed to be slightly carmelized or maybe just fried (I mean, it was definitely fried at one point, let's get that out of the way) and fine, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about when I say carmelized, you may or may not know that I lack the experience and vocabulary to be the clearest food experimentor or "foodie". Anyway, it tasted great, had to be some kind of source for protein, and though he didn't say hi to me or just didn't notice me, sitting on the other side of the food bazzar was Shark, appropriately tearing into his food. Wonderful.

I returned to the hotel, tore any of the leftover papers I'd had or photocopied into tiny shreds just in case that was an issue, then threw it in the garbage that has yet to be emptied by the staff here. Like, whatever, I don't care, as long as you keep me in water bottles, you can do anything else you like. Um, also don't steal my computer, you can't do that.

I reclined on the bed watching some Chinese basketball on tv- both teams had a black guy that did a lot of work for their side. A lot more 3-point shots were attempted and scored versus an NBA game. Also, by the end (I think it was the end) the score was roughly half what you'd expect from an NBA game. 

Flipped over to some show that seems to be about a woman that is getting pursued by a handsome dude and a goofy dude. She also seems upset that she doesn't spend as much time with her son and possibly father. Riding in a convertable with the handsome guy, she finds a wrapped condom I think from the glove compartment and, alarmingly, throws it in the air. The whole set up seems to be a fictionalized "The Bachlorette" scenario, since she's being followed by a camera crew, and gets mobbed at her home. After she rejects both the handsome guy (who has a boat, but on that boat was some other woman's bra, the cad) and the goofy guy (I have glasses with the flip-up sunglasses attachment, I also have to be about a decade older than the other guy... or at least, I hope so, otherwise get it together man) in favour of spending time with her son, she's immediately on a date with some new guy that starts to get a little aggressive- cue Handsome and Goofy charging in together to duct tape Aggressive into a table with wine corks stuck in his mouth. Handsome and Goofy are laughing and drinking wine, the Bachlorette is kind of like "what is happening" and then Goofy has to go and take things too far by stabbing Aggressive-- except it was a prop knife, oh Goofy! But Bachlorette is upset about the joke and leaves.

Clearly I was getting into this, but I was too tired and had to sleep.

Speaking of which, it's 3:39am, and I should try and sleep some more before tomorrow's bank trip and apartment hunt. Plus I basically covered everything from today, yeah, pretty much.

Wish me luck, have a good day