I'm back working security at a Michael Kors store to earn my money. And yes, that's as depressing as it sounds. 8 hours of just standing around being useless, with two half hour breaks.
The first hour and a half of yesterdays shift, however, evaporated as if it were nothing. WHILE STILL DOING MY JOB (emphasis very much needed here) I withdrew completely into myself, thinking, rolling along a stream of consciousness, striving to recall, to be my own wikipedia to sound crass about it.
And all the while all I wanted was to be locked up in a room somewhere, laptop in hand, and writing stuff down. Yes, that thought was another I specifically wanted recorded yesterday, and now I have done so.
I was completely obsessed with a dream, again, yesterday, that I wanted to get down, but I've forgotten it. At least, that was true until I got half way through that sentence.
I was at a school. In the auditorium a girl I know was wheeled to the front (she doesn't usually use a wheel chair..) but she walks out of it and stands at the podium to give an introduction to a movie she made. The movie, a violent cartoon of giant creatures on a rampage, all cut up with no clear narrative. The audience laughs at it for not making sense, and I want them to stop for the girls sake, but I can't help but feel they have a point. She's uncomfortable with the response she's gotten. She leaves, and I follow, trying to talk with her, but I keep following farther and farther behind her. No, it's not like those nightmares you had when you were little- my legs worked fine, I wasn't trapped in sand. I could have run, but that would have meant admitting that I wanted to keep up. All the while I was carrying a flag that had a burnt edge to it, still glowing like it could burst into flame at any time. Which has GOT to be symbolic of something, but I have zero idea.
In the cafeteria I found the group of people I played VS. cards with back in the day. Of course "back in the day" was still well after high school, and this wasn't any cafeteria I'd ever been in as far as I could tell, so who knows where that came from. They were discussing the merits of having random cards in to deal with whatever situation might come up (basically, how I often played) which is something they'd NEVER be in favour of, so this dream is crazier than you'd think.
Walking home, and this was along Pharmacy Avenue there were multiple houses with radio station/pizza places. As in you walked up the steps to the door, go in, and get a brand pizza right from the DJ while he's broadcasting live on-air. I think the two houses were Pizza Pizza and Domines chains... no idea which radio station they were. It was weird, not a bad idea though.
"Not a bad idea though" As in, maybe a good idea. I'm referring to "Litotes" understatement, especially that in which an affirmative is expressed by the negative of its contrary, as in “not bad at all.”
It's one of those things I learned lately that has really stuck in my head- because people keep using examples of it. Not sure if the word is different for when you say "not bad" and specifically don't mean "it's good". The case for "it's neutral".
A friend of mine used the word "mansplaining". It's a pretty ugly portmanteau. It sounds like something Lucy should throw back at Desi Arnaz's face when he says "you've got some 'splaining to do!"
Thinking about stereotypes and prejudice. The first time you encounter X, you expect it to always be X, until you meet an instance of Y. Now it can be X or Y, until Z. The fact that you shouldn't be surprised by A-Z doesn't discount the realities of how often you seen X X's numerically greater than Y Y's. If you're a fan of Criminal Minds (I'm not, but I'm sure it's a legitimate thing to be a fan of. The math checks out) then you see the effectiveness of "fitting a profile". Well, it's a fictional show, but you get my point. There are real world criminal profilers. Okay, NOW you get my point.
You can't take anything for granted. Except that we do. All the time. We take for granted that the next step we take will land on solid ground, that the chair will hold up. That what we see is real. That was the other thing I took a while to remember yesterday, but it still came to me surprisingly quickly "cogito ergo sum". The only thing I know for certain, which is CRAZY.
I like how I had to dictionary.com "litotes" but am totally confident that I've got "cogito ergo sum" that I don't need to check if I've indeed got it right. I did have litotes wrong, in fact. I had first written "litote".
Today I woke up tired from a nightmare where I was fighting these killers in a sort of super speed zone, so that even if they got killed it would be a long while before they actually fell down dead, and could do whatever they wanted to you in the meantime. Terrifying. Similarly, some nigh invulnerable zombie dudes had it out for me, and had infected someone on my team with a virus carrying golf ball hours earlier that was a revelation I couldn't handle and had to wake up. Two hours later I safely went back to sleep, good thing too, I've an overnight shift to work. 9pm-9am, wish me luck, I'll be fine.
What is this, first post of March? Most of it sounds crazy, and is therefore awesome. Here's the info dictionary.com has on the "Ides of March" (haven't read it yet myself)
"March 15th marks a very inauspicious anniversary. Like a black cat crossing your path, the Ides of March has become a metaphor for impending doom. How did a day that was once celebrated by the Romans become so heavily cloaked in superstition?
The Ides of March is a phrase derived from the Latin idus, a term marking the 15th day of March, July and October as well as the 13th day of other months in the Roman calendar year, and the Latin martii, “March,” which is derived from the Latin Mars, the Roman god of war. The “ide”marks the halfway point of the month—most likely alluding to the day of the full moon. Apparently, devised by Romulus, the mythical founder of Rome, the early Roman calendar cited other dates of the month by counting backwards from the kalends (1st day of the month), kones (the 7th day of March, May, July and October; the 13th day in other months) and of course, the ides.
Once a celebratory day dedicated to the Roman god, Mars (complete with a military parade) the backstabbing of Julius Caesar in 44 B.C. cast a dark cloud. Shakespeare’s “The Tragedy of Julius Caesar” immortalized this dark moment.
Written by William Shakespeare around 1599, “Julius Caesar“ portrays the assassination of the Roman dictator by a group of conspirators. After ignoring the warnings of a soothsayer, a person who professes to foretell events, who uttered the phrase “Beware the Ides of March,” Caesar is stabbed 23 times in the back.
Thus, the same man who brought us the month of July involuntarily inaugurated the phrase “backstabbing.”"
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