January 4th, 2016

1:18 am

Once again, I've just woken up early after going to sleep around 7 something-8 something pm. Hopefully I won't take 3 hours to write this like I've done the last few days- seriously, why (how?!) do I take so long?

Happy to report that I woke up a little sweaty- so I've regained the ability to sweat. Which is to say, I've been introduced to a water, um, dispensary at work that I repeatedly filled my cheapo hotel water bottles at. Another consequence of returning to near my usual water consumption is that my urine is getting back to that clearer colour I love so very very much. Still slightly stronger smelling than I'd prefer. I'm looking forward to increasing my fruit and vegetable consumption levels to pre-China levels.

Too much information? Too bad- the health and maintenance of my body is one of my chief concerns, and you'll definitely be hearing a lot about it. Minus certain details. Ladies choice, amirite? (in this instance, I'm referring to myself as a lady)

Along a similar vein, I'm very glad I didn't pursue a job in Shanghai, because even in Dalian with its relatively superlative air quality I'm still neurotically thinking "how's my breathing? Am I having trouble breathing? Aughh I am, aren't I?!" Psychosomatic? Self-fulfilling prophecy? What's the word- nebbish? I'm certainly not the classic choice for someone you'd expect to wander into China- which I find hilarious.

I'm greatly enjoying the mental exercise (and arguably, the freedom) of having to rely on my own abilities to spell check myself and dig through my own head for my vocabulary, instead of always zipping to Google to check if I'm using a word right or spelling it correctly. I had to spell Ottawa in class today, and you know I had to write it as "Ottowa" to see which one was right. So sue me, it doesn't come up THAT often.

In related news, I still have had no internet access. In theory I'm connected to the hotels wi-fi right now, but I clearly need a password to navigate beyond the main page, and I could barely communicate with the staff here enough to get the room I pre-paid for, so I've given up internet in the immediate future as a lost cause.

The computers at work have internet access, AND they don't require any login password- but the internet there is so slow to be on the verge of useless. I tried to access my hotmail account, but it asked for an additional code to verify I was me, because it thought it was hinky that I was accessing it in China- I could either get the code texted to me (nope, remember my phone charger is in Canada, so my phone is dead) or I could get the access code sent to my i_zak@yahoo.com e-mail. I went to yahoo and I was able to login without any issue (should I be worried about the security standards at yahoo? Based on my garbage e-mail in that account, definitely) so great! I clicked on the option to receive the code in that e-mail account, got it, and entered it int the hotmail account... "incorrect code".

UUUMM! That's a problem. I don't know why that didn't work, so that's messed up.

My co-worker Adeel offered to let me phone home using his device, but since all my phone numbers are on my cell phone I had to pass...

I'll let you know now, when I returned to the hotel this evening I turned my cellphone back on, it immediately flashed "LOW BATTERY RE-CHARGE" or something along those lines and I quickly copied out my family's phone numbers, followed by a quick text to Simon along the lines of "Hi Simon, forgot charger at home, almost out of power, no internet yet, I'm fine" or something similarly alarmingly cryptic. But it sent, and I will surely get hit with a high roaming fee, and it's better than nothing.

Push ups wise, I did 20, took a knee, finished the last 5. I know that sounds lame, but I'm not planning on doing mutliple sets until I'm spending more than 20 RMB a day on food. Have to conserve energy. I'd have this mindset even if I didn't watch "The Martian" on the plane ride over, but it certainly reinforced that tendency.

I was told to report to work for 9am. I arrived a little before 8:30 (there is a digital clock flashing at the entrance to the Roosevelt Center's underground parking on the west side of the building- I didn't have a watch for myself, because, again, my cell phone has no power), as I said in my last post, I want to start a reputation for being on time. So naturally all the doors are locked tight with sort of... what do you call those devices you affix to your cars steering wheel to prevent theft? They were popular in the 90's, but now people are mostly "ugh, fine, if you break into my car just take it" THE CLUB! Is that it?... all the doors are locked tight with a club looking lock on the inside of the doors, or a heavy chain wrapped around the outside, and more often than not there's a security guard standing by inside (those poor saps) waiting to open up... at 9? At 5 to 9? I don't know!

I wandered around the perimeter of the Roosevelt Center, happy to find the one clock to tell me when it was time to go in, thinking maybe I should have worn my touque, maybe my coat (it's been really nice here, temperature wise, but maybe not quite "standing-around-outside-for-half-an-hour-in-a-button-up-flannel-shirt-and-scarf-only" nice) I saw one guard approach his doors from the inside and I thought "Yes! He's about to open up!" But then he just added a chain to the already clubbed up locked doors. And I started laughing, because that's hilarious.

I weighed my options about whether or not I should get breakfast at McDonald's before 9. I understand it's expensive to eat western food, and I kind of wanted to stick to eating at the Food Bazzar where I've got my prepaid card all ready to go... but if the doors are only open a 9 then I have negative time to get food, and breakfast is, I hope you know, the most important meal of the day.

Obviously I decided to go without.

There was an entrance on the north end of the center that workers were allowed in, after flashing some kind of employment card. I have no employment card, and I certainly don't speak the language enough to make a case for why they should definitely make the exception and let me in. I'm told even the veteran language teachers don't have an I.D. card like that, so that entrance isn't going to be an option for me in the future.

A woman said a friendly "Hello" to me before switching right into Chinese, and didn't quite seem to understand my shrugging motion of "I don't know what you're saying". I'm not sure if she's mentally all there, based on the quality of her voice and expression. As I walked away she walked in a circle always stepping onto her right heel before clicking it flatfooted. It was a sort of eccentric, free-spirited thing to do.

Returning to the western side of the Center to look at the clock again, 8:49. I waited for the 8:50 change then started counting seconds, walking around the perimeter until I found a main entrance with people waiting to go inside. I reached 7 minutes before they opened the door. Most stores had a representative employee waiting in front of their doors to greet prospective shoppers, and their was a song playing that struck me as "national anthem"-ish. I was assuming it was okay to continue walking to work based on the fact that I could see other employees inside the stores working at getting things ready for the day.

Entering Web International, I went into the staff room to see the time on the clock-in device- 9:02. But I don't actually have any kind of login to use for it yet, so trying to log in before the 9am mark was a futile effort anyways.

After some confusion I found my schedule of classes for the day, and the lesson plans I was to follow, though some leeway with the material was encouraged by my fellow teacher- something I noticed while observing the day before. Reading through I saw that I was asked to get some in class materials ready- "Hey man, it says I'm supposed to have some strips for this class, what's that about?"

"You have to photocopy that page and cut it into strips for the class." *Looks at time* "You should do that now."

Ah, photocopiers. How I hate you. At least this one if fairly straightforward (I'll curse you, Visa Application Center photocopier, until the day I die!)- I needed three copies of 4 different pages. I only ended up using 2 of the pages, because it was for a tough exercise of putting the strips of a story (Little Red Riding Hood) into the proper order, which ended up taking all of the class time. Also I didn't have enough time to cut up the latter 2 pages which was for a Beauty and the Beast story.

It wasn't until that evening that I noticed I copied the wrong second page for Beauty and the Beast, I re-copied a Red Riding Hood page, so that was never going to work out anyway. Whoops. CURSE YOU PHOTOCOPIERS, THIS WAS IN NO WAY MY FAULT! (totally my fault)

So, about my classes- uh, I think I may be amazing at teaching? I had an absolute blast all day, though I was often a couple of minutes late to each class (not my fault, each class ostensibly runs to the hour mark, with another class starting immediately at that hour mark- once I get my hands on a watch I won't have an issue ending class a couple of minutes before the hour and getting to where I need to go. I definitely felt dumb always asking my students how much time we had. Oh well.) the classes after a break in-between I was on time for.

I took some liberties with the material, but people seemed to be enjoying themselves. I always asked at the end how they liked they class and they responded positively- very positively, actually. Naturally I'm not sure how much is kiss-assery, but even unprompted I was told it was a very good class, and this one guy at the end of the day gave me chocolate-y (or something) bubble tea, which of course I accepted because this is the Wild East and there are basically no rules about boundaries and propriety between teacher and student at this English Center and also because I'm not in any kind of position to turn down free calories.

For one class I was supposed to print off a page for each student to fill out- sort of a form to create an imaginary business with- but when I hit up the photocopier I got a paper jam. With some assistance the jam was removed, but it didn't proceed to print, so I was all "whatever man" (PHOTOCOPIERS!!) and just drew the blanks on the clear-white erase board (all the wall is a board to draw on here, it's awesome) and made it a group exercise. That was actually my toughest class, relatively low levels of class engagement, but even then it wasn't too bad, though this one girl at the front definitely did a lot of the heavy lifting for the group as far as answering. When I asked for a hypothetical business to design around (I didn't use the word hypothetical... uh, I think) she offered "Internet Company" and I'm all "Yes, we can work with that" and so I coaxed them into coming up with a list of requirements for applicants. Experience with internet. Good. New ideas for the company. Cool. University degree in computers. Yes! Experience at other computer companies, over a year, more is better. Yes, very good!

People eventually started feeling more comfortable and began offering answers more freely- and this was the toughest class! How great is that?! 

The last class of the day was about shapes, sizes, and relative positions- I was supposed to photocopy some pages of random drawings for an exercise where, in pairs, one student describes an object to the other purely using the shape/size/relative position words and that student has to draw it. Obviously I didn't photocopy those pages (I kind of forgot, I didn't even check whether the photocopier was functional again...) so instead I picked two students to work as a team, and let them more or less choose their "victim" to go up to the board and draw what they describe. They'd always catch themselves when they instinctively tried to describe the item by, you know, what it is, or slip into Chinese, but I'd give them the "hey now-" thing and get them back on track. When the student drawing finished, then they partnered up with someone and they got to choose their victim. When this second group was looking around at the remaining students this girl at the front was doing this sort of looking-away-hard-enough-to-hopefully-become-invisible thing, which is why I was so happy when she volunteered to be the last draw person for the day! Awesome!

Also, I  got to draw a pyramid (triangle) with a man beside (next to, to the right of) a camel (also next to and to the right of) a mummy digging up in front of the pyramid (out from under) and a bird (on top of) which people seemed to get a kick out of. I certainly drew a lot today. My Einstein and Mount Rushmore's could use some work. Basically wild hair and a sticking out tongue, and blobby circles on a fingers crossed mountain range. My illustration of "dignified" was on point though.

The concept of "dignified" wasn't actually on any lesson plan, but after my class of the day was over no one really seemed in a hurry to leave, so I just talked about myself (something I'm exceptional at- I'm so sorry) and I talked about "sparing my dignity", so I explained "dignity" and "dignified" and pretty much how I'm completely lacking in it, and also I tought them about the classic "collar pull" when you're unsure of yourself, or had a close call or something. And also fingers crossed in front of you is to hope for something "I hope I get a million dollars!" versus fingers crossed behind is like "oh yeah, I'll give you a good mark on this test" *reveals crossed fingers behind back* "Oops, crossed fingers!"

(I don't have tests to mark, really, I just mark on the attentance sheet whether a student "passed" or needs to be "referred"- I've passed everyone so far, I hope I'm not being too lax, but honestly these people, to have the skills they do, all amaze me, because I'm a practically monolingual ignoramus. With "un petite peu" of french. 

Man, I hope I got that french right.

But yes, this teaching gig is so great, security jobs can suck it.

And I found out where these guys get their English names- they just make it up here! What! They apparently get help from people at the Center here, but yeah, it's their choice. Most of the names are pretty conventional, but I did have a "Queenie" today and my last class had a rascally older fellow named "Shark"- YESSSS!!!!!! You know I told him that was an awesome name.

For lunch/breakfast I picked up some (red bean?) rice and a uh, meat looking thing. Surprise, Isaac! It wasn't meat at all, it was like a cross between a honey crueller and caramel popcorn! Cool! Interesting! Tasty! In no way nutritional for myself!

For dinner I had the rice with bits of corn and ham(?) in it, with some bits of green thing that are probably a type of onion- pretty sure that's what I had for dinner yesterday as well- and then I picked up a hotdog/sausage/Hot Rod thing on a stick. It seemed to be slightly carmelized or maybe just fried (I mean, it was definitely fried at one point, let's get that out of the way) and fine, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about when I say carmelized, you may or may not know that I lack the experience and vocabulary to be the clearest food experimentor or "foodie". Anyway, it tasted great, had to be some kind of source for protein, and though he didn't say hi to me or just didn't notice me, sitting on the other side of the food bazzar was Shark, appropriately tearing into his food. Wonderful.

I returned to the hotel, tore any of the leftover papers I'd had or photocopied into tiny shreds just in case that was an issue, then threw it in the garbage that has yet to be emptied by the staff here. Like, whatever, I don't care, as long as you keep me in water bottles, you can do anything else you like. Um, also don't steal my computer, you can't do that.

I reclined on the bed watching some Chinese basketball on tv- both teams had a black guy that did a lot of work for their side. A lot more 3-point shots were attempted and scored versus an NBA game. Also, by the end (I think it was the end) the score was roughly half what you'd expect from an NBA game. 

Flipped over to some show that seems to be about a woman that is getting pursued by a handsome dude and a goofy dude. She also seems upset that she doesn't spend as much time with her son and possibly father. Riding in a convertable with the handsome guy, she finds a wrapped condom I think from the glove compartment and, alarmingly, throws it in the air. The whole set up seems to be a fictionalized "The Bachlorette" scenario, since she's being followed by a camera crew, and gets mobbed at her home. After she rejects both the handsome guy (who has a boat, but on that boat was some other woman's bra, the cad) and the goofy guy (I have glasses with the flip-up sunglasses attachment, I also have to be about a decade older than the other guy... or at least, I hope so, otherwise get it together man) in favour of spending time with her son, she's immediately on a date with some new guy that starts to get a little aggressive- cue Handsome and Goofy charging in together to duct tape Aggressive into a table with wine corks stuck in his mouth. Handsome and Goofy are laughing and drinking wine, the Bachlorette is kind of like "what is happening" and then Goofy has to go and take things too far by stabbing Aggressive-- except it was a prop knife, oh Goofy! But Bachlorette is upset about the joke and leaves.

Clearly I was getting into this, but I was too tired and had to sleep.

Speaking of which, it's 3:39am, and I should try and sleep some more before tomorrow's bank trip and apartment hunt. Plus I basically covered everything from today, yeah, pretty much.

Wish me luck, have a good day

January 3, 2016

1:38am, I've been awake and laying in bed for about an hour now I think. This is after coming straight back to the hotel after an observational day at my new place of employ, Web International, and falling asleep around 6pm. I'll write something here quick then try to get back in bed- I'm due at work at 9am and I'll be teaching my first classes today.

So yesterday I had to figure out food. The floor above Web International has a "Food Bazzar" where I'm told the cheap eats are. I'd already purchased the requisite food card the night before on Tyler's advice, 100 RMB prepaid onto the card, which I estimate to be about $30 canadian (I did a lot of fund estimation yesterday, which I'll share with you later). Armed with this card, and being aware of my limited budget, I was keen to find a sustainable but low cost diet. The cheapest stuff I saw were these pre-made sort of bowls with relatively indeterminate contents. I bought one that looked like it may have been chicken but could have been mushrooms (it was mushrooms) fingers crossed either way for protein, and then another dish that had a sort of glowing see-through noodle (not literally glowing) with a little chopped up carrot, celery, and... mushrooms. Like, it was mostly mushrooms. Like an idiot, I bought two things of mushrooms for breakfast.

I placed the items on a tray, brought them over to the register where there is a boxy device with a series of chopsticks poking out parallel to the ground. You just pull them out, and voila, chopsticks. Didn't think to look for napkins though, I still don't know if there are any around. The person working the register just takes your card, inputs something into the register, swipes the card, and you're good to go, with a new receipt and your card given back. I don't see any kind of scanning device, so I can only think the cashier input my order manually, which suggests a huge knowledge base of the prices of everything in the foodcourt. Or they just guess and good luck to me, I can't confirm based on the receipt what I ordered.

I don't know which item on my receipt is which, but the one item went for 5.80 RMB and the other 3.80 RMB, less 10% on each item for having my prepaid card, becomes 8.64 RMB which was then rounded down to 8.60 RMB, leaving my card with 91.40 RMB remaining.

The spicy mushrooms were alright, a little tingly around my mouth which is worrisome. Spicy, or allergic reaction? Only time will tell! (It subsided, but still..) and the other... blargh. A man can only have so many mushrooms. I really had to force myself to finish. When done, you just leave the trays on the table for a quick removal from a highly effecient cleaning staff. They have to be, because once you move on, there will immediately be someone wandering around looking for your spot. I know, i know, I'm just describing any cafeteria/food court during lunch time.

I went in search of a bathroom, not because I needed it, but because I wanted to be prepared to find one. There's a small step into the room (there are small steps everywhere, I'm probably going to trip and break my neck here. So. I didn't expect THAT to be how I die.) and the first thing I see is a no-smoking sign with a guy standing in front said sign smoking. What a badass.

Also, smoking is gross.

The faucets have a good water flow, and are of the press down variety that turns off on its own. There is no soap. The toilets are squat down, and there are urinals. I forgot to check at this point, but I returned later to see whether or not the reports I had been given about there not being toilet paper in public bathrooms were true. They are true. So the public bathroom situation is basically a nightmare. 

Headed over to Web International for about 12:30- for once in my life I'm going to establish a reputation for being early (I was due at 1). But seriously, I'm living 15 minutes a way or so- hour long commutes on TTC have a way of breaking down ones potential for punctuality, get off my back world.

Met Vicky, the woman who interviewed me and had been my contact here for lo these many months. She broke down the different levels of student- 8 levels from "icebreaker" up to "advanced" where the first two levels are run by Chinese teachers alone, and the final six are foreign teacher led. Classes last an hour, with three different class types: private (4 students max.), salon (10 students max.), and english corner where the teacher presents to a larger group on some topic and there's necessarily much less back and forth. It's a good mix, and after spending the next three hours sitting in on one of each type of class I'm happy to report that I can totally do this.

In order I sat in on Tom's private class (Tom is an older guy from Australia that's only been here a week himself, he seems to already have some mandarin under his belt, and has an electronic dictionary to cover the rest. He told quite a few jokes during his lesson, mostly logical stuff: "Spell your name" "Y-O-U-R-N-A-M-E". "Imagine you're driving a bus, X, Y, Z happens. Who's driving the bus?" "I am!"), Alona's salon (Alona is from the Ukraine and, interestingly enough, is not herself a native English speaker, rather studying it in post secondary), and finally Adeel's English corner (I'm not sure where he's from... but in talking with him after the fact I can tell you that this guy has been all over. He was familiar with the geography of Toronto because he has relatives there who he has visited, he lived in Chicago, and studied medicine itself I believe in China- yup, a doctor taking a breezy year teaching English)

The most interaction I had with students was in Alona's salon, where everyone was directed to ask me a question at the beginning of class. The question I remember the most was from this guy who asked me if I was single, which I feel like I cleverly answered with "If I wasn't single before, I am now!" That got a laugh, while also keeping my innate lameness to myself.

They discussed different word pronounciation, asking me whether "Often" had a noticeable "T" sound in it or not. I told them either was fine, and then explained about part of the plot of Pirates of Penzance revolving around orphans and how "orphan" sounds like "often". I drew a terrible little pirate head on the board. Bad hat, eyepatch, scruffy beard and a frown. Hats are hard to draw, especially when you're trying to not waste everyones time. It was more scribble than hat. Ghastly.

I was also asked about my current living situation, hotel with an eye on apartment hunting soon (I'm scheduled to go do that with Vicky on Monday). This girl Amy said she was looking for someone to stay in her apartment when she left for some reason that I don't know/remember. So she gave me her contact info which I forwarded to Vicky. It'll be good to have a number of options, but this place would have to be furnished, so that would be amazing.

The English Corner was the lesson that I had the most trepidation over, so seeing it in action was a relief. Adeel spoke with great familiarity to the students about New Years, and then showed a music video about a guy that lost his leg in a bike accident on the road, but came back to biking after healing, getting a prosthetic, and designing a magnetic bike pedal. Words of the hour were things like "amputee" noun, "amputate" verb, "prosthetic", and "stuntsman".

I've never heard "Stuntsman" before, but it's close enough to "stuntman" so whatever.

At 4 Vicky asked me to go north to the "Bank of Communications" to open an account. I was assured they'd speak English, and eager to get some access to more of my funds. I took my leave of Web International, not noticing a small step that gave me an unexpected drop. I caught myself and hoped no one saw the awkwardness. The good news is that I found the Bank of Communications easily enough. The bad news is that there wasn't enough English to get me going. The Bank of Communications and we can't communicate. Irony. Yeah.

I returned to Web International to report my failure to Vicky, but she was teaching a class of her own, so I gave my hotmail address to this woman who needed my contact info (I have yet to access the internet in China) and chatted with Adeel about his history and the help I'll need getting a smartphone. He said he'd help me do that during lunch the next day so that may be good, though I'm a little worried about the prices he was quoting at me.

I returned to the food bazzar and had some rice with a few peas and corn mixed in, as well as some actual meat... though whether or not it was chicken or pork, I can't tell you for sure. As I'm sure you know, mine is the most unsophisticated of palettes. So, it was something. Had a sweet and sour-y sauce. It was good! Based on the price discrepancy on the receipt I can assume the rice came to 4 RMB and the meat was 9.2 RMB. Each item was dicounted 15% this time, perhaps because of the non-peak hour, 4 something versus lunchtime? The total came to 11.22, rounded down to 11.2, leaving me with 80.2 RMB on my food card.

I did some rough estimates based on what I was given at the Pearson Airport foreign exchange- $300 canadian got me about 1000 RMB, I spent 10%, 100 RMB, on the food card, so that's about $30 canadian, and I spent almost 10% of the food card, 10 RMB, on each meal, so that's $3/meal, so $6 total for the day. Boy I hope I got that right.

When I was running these numbers all scientific and whatnot back at the hotel I, for some reason, only figured in spending the 10 RMB, so I was like "okay, $3 for meals a day, great" 30 days in a month, 90 RMB/month. But yeah, duh, I spent twice that amount today, so it's 180 RMB/month.

OOOOOH!! I just looked at my notepad, I didn't make any mistake after all. Wow, you can pretty much disregard the entire last paragraph, I was looking at the 3 RMB on my notebook, thought it was dollars, and tried to, I guess reverse justify it, but no, that's just my potential transit budget! Just above THAT number is 20 RMB/day for food number. Man, I'm trying to give myself a heart attack.

Alright, time to scare you- a breakdown of my finances, as best as I can estimate with the $300 Canadian= 1000 RMB benchmark. Fingers crossed I don't mix up my numbers again.

For a 30 day month (so already I'm way off by a day for January, whatever) I'd need approx. 600 RMB for food (yes, I will be hungry), an apartment at 66 RMB/day is approx. 1980 RMB, transit costs... for some reason I'm thinking 3 RMB/day. I absoltuely forget where I got that number, but I haven't ridden on the transit system to get any hard data on this, so let's assume I got it from somewhere legitimate even though I forget where- 90 RMB/month.

My hypothetical phone costs, and my upcoming laundry costs are undetermined.

From what I've got so far I'm looking at 2670 RMB needed for living expenses in China for a month, plus phone, plus laundry. I had $1100 in my chequing account back home before going on this adventure, $300 of which I took out and converted at the foreign exchange at the airport giving me the 1000 RMB. Let's say I've only got $1000 to start for the month, because that's easier to do the math with, it gives me a little wiggle room after the fact, and because I feel I got hosed so much by the taxi guy getting here from the airport (he charged me 300 RMB, ouch, that's like $90, right?) So 1000 (Canadian dollars) times 1000 (RMB) divided by 300 (Canadian dollars) = 3333 repeating (RMB)

I believe that's how you do that, cross multiply and whatnot.

So I have to make the month work on 3330 RMB. Actually I get paid on the 5th of February, so it's a little worse than that. 2670 RMB-3330 RMB= 660 RMB leftover to cover phone and laundry. And there's going to be some amount of bank fees when I ATM money from my account back in Canada.

Aye-yaaah this is going to be tough. I may have to borrow some more money from Jordan back home, I really don't want to do that. And this isn't even allowing me to spend money on my credit bills back home.

For reference sake, I'm trying to make do for the month on 3330 RMB, which includes rent for the month. Once I get paid, it'll be for 6500 RMB (just under double), and I'll be getting a housing allowance that takes care of my rent. That'll be easy street once I get there. 

And then after my probation period of 3 months is over we're looking at 8000 RMB per month. An even easier street.

3:55am. I'd better see if I can sleep some more before work tomorrow.

Wish me luck, have a good day

January 2, 2016

Woke up in hotel room after a good nights sleep. I couldn't help but have a good one,  had stayed up for so long leading up to the flight(s), and could only lose consciousness a few times on on those flights- nothing steady. Man, that Detroit to Seoul-Incheon was a nightmare. It felt like my entire life was just sitting in that chair, helping the old woman beside me order food (she was too quiet to be heard) and trying to watch some tv. Amongst others, I tried to watch "What We Do In The Shadows"  think that's what it's called. A faux documentary about vampires in New Zealand, but I couldn't stay conscious enough for it.

Will Arnett's "The Last Man in the World" kept my attention though.

There was a lot of English in the Korean airport, enough that I didn't really feel uncomfortable at all. There's a lot less English in China.

The checkpoint going into, I suppose you'd call it the Chinese terminal, had my passport and visa getting checked again, as well as my backpack getting the once over. It was a very cursory look, checking the tiny top zipper with my house keys, chapsticks, and various pins that have no back and are therefore a sharpness hazard, as well as, in the larger pocket, checking my toiletries bag. The gentleman dug through wanting to see all my nailclippers and whatnot, handling everything with his bare hands- no protective gloves or anything. Unsanitary. But whatever. The glovelessness is the only negative, otherwise the process was far less invasive than the Pearson aiport experience- do we really need to ditch our shoes? Come on guys.

Flying into China itself took longer than I had expected- the plane dropped some screens and started showing "The Martian" (which I just watched on the flight between Detroit and Seoul) which freaked me out because I KNEW how long that movie was. Fortunately the screens stopped playing around the time Matt Damon gets stuck on Mars. So, ok.

Over Dalian I saw fewer lights on than I'd expect from a city. There was a section that was almost like a fork of land, jutting into the water, and on each block (or tine) was a long block of city. It was odd, seeing these tall buildings surrounded on three sides by water, with its brother buildings a water jump away. I'd really like to explore that area sometime.

Landing at the airport, both here and in Korea but emphasized more so here, are signposts advising of health screenchecks. I wasn't feeling the best after, you know, the 22 hours or so of travel, but I'm glad I didn't leave two weeks ago when I actually was sick. They'd probably have turned me right around and sent me back.

I was given an arrival card of some sort, where I had to write my information, name, visa and passport number, where I was staying, etc. etc. I hadn't looked at the card to fill it out before I wondered into the checkpoint that wanted it completed. Everyone at this checkpoint is dressed in a military garb, contrary to a security guard I saw a moment later that basically looks the same as any security guard in Canada. The man at the desk sort of grunted at me to take the arrival card over to a side area with some pens (and other arrival cards written in various languages) I took awhile to find the address informaton in my folder, so a nice woman came over to see if I needed any help. I didn't really, not at this point, but it was appreciated.

Using the bathroom I see the first instance of the famous "squat-over-a-hole" toilets. The urinals were basically the same as anywhere, so score on that front. Good luck, ladies!

The sink had automatic faucets as well as a sign about conserving water- once activated every single sink only dripped a tiny amount of water. Half drops to wash my hand. That sucked. I'd already lathered up, so it was like washing a car with a squirt gun. I stayed for a few minutes before I resorted to paper toweling the rest of the soap off my hands.

My luggage was waiting for me on the last conveyor belt, spinning around by its lonesome. I was just glad it was there- I thought I heard something about me needing to transfer it manually at some point, which was information that didn't make sense to me, but I still just crossed my fingers that my bag would end up where I did.

Toddling off to the exit, there was yet another checkpoint for me to drop my luggage and backpack off to get x-rayed or something. I hope these x-rays don't negatively impact my computer, like erase files or give it cancer or something. Nearing the doors I was on the lookout for my contact, a man named Tyler who was supposed to have a sign with my name. Two problems arose: my phone couldn't get a signal once we'd hit the korean airport, so I had no idea what time it was once I'd landed in China, and there was no one standing around with a sign. The exit wasn't at all crowded, the entire airport was sparsely populated, so I should have been able to spot him immediately- or he should have been able to spot me immediately, the only white guy with a red sweater that says "CANADA" on it. Possibly he could have seen me by my stink lines, I'm not sure, I didn't ask.

I was approached by a man who immediately offered to drive me from the airport. I told him I was waiting for someone to meet me here, which he may have understood from the context, but he clearly knew very limited English. I pointed to the phone number I had for Tyler, which he called and didn't get an answer. I felt like that was enough of a good faith effort on my part to find Tyler, at least, again, without knowing how far behind or ahead of schedule I may have been, and decided to go off with this stranger in his car. Maybe he'll have some candy with him!

In case my joke wasn't obvious, yes, of course I was aware of the potential for danger here. I feel like I have to explain my thought processes here, otherwise, as usual, I'll get the side-eyed look that says (assuming you dn't flat out tell me this) "wow, you are a naive idiot". Well, I needed to get to my hotel, that was the immediate concern. I didn't find this person to be a threat physically. I had studied the map enough times to have a good idea of the route a taxi would take, any deviation of which could set off my mental alarm bells. As usual I stayed friendly, asking his name, but he didn't understand the question, so I layed off with the asking, focusing on my surroundings and any surprises from him. He played straight, got me to my hotel. I feel like he overcharged me a bit, but it was within the realm of fairness, so better to leave well enough alone.

The road to the hotel was pretty straightforward, as I had anticipated, what I hadn't anticipated was that my driver must be without a licence and blind in one eye or something. Outside the airport were a series of dividers about a foot high, which I assume were meant to direct us to some other entrance onto the main road- my driver immediately hits one, and then course corrects, not to find some actual entrance onto the road, but navigating his way THROUGH these obstacles. I thought for sure we'd be trapped between roads, but we made it through okay, whereupon my driver proceeded to favour driving inbetween two lanes, fighting for the right of way with other traffic and buses, and nearly running into some two dozen pedestrians. And, although my driver seemed to be an extreme case, EVERYONE was driving like this. And there was jaywalking as far as the eye could see. The roads here are dangerous, is, I think, the main thing I'm trying to communicate right now.

We passed by the Roosevelt shopping center, with its giant English lettering, and was relieved to know everything was on the right path.

My hotel, the "Home Inn", has friendly, uniformed staff, that also do not know much English. I showed the paper printoff about my reservation, but realized 99% of that page was English, so that was unfortunate. The main source of embarrassment on the part of the hotel people was that I was on the 6th floor, that it has a sloping roof, and that the elevator only goes to the 5th floor- all of this was communicated with a smart phone translating device, something I need to get as soon as possible. I waved all those concerns away as nothing, because, you know, whatever, it's all good. For some reason though there was still an issue- a newly guest translated that they wanted me to pay an amount now that I would get back after I left the hotel-- OH, you guys want a deposit! Cool, that's fine.

There's a man, possibly a security guard, sitting at a couch in the lobby, smoking. Smoking is gross, by the way. The 6th floor, if no other floor, has a no smoking sign. I've also got an ashtray in my room. I'm getting mixed signals here.

My room requires my electronic card key to sit by the door in a slot on the wall to activate the power in the room, which is also cool. There's just a bed, tv, desk, bathroom (I immediately checked the faucet, which had a good flow, no drips. I was immensely relieved.) If I get a new phone that can take pictures I'll have to take a picture while I'm here.

I wanted to do some reconaissance, so I took a shower in preparation to step out fresh. The shower stall was filling up with water, I pretty much just finished my shower before my cup runneth over, so to speak. I figured out that what looked like a clear drain was actually some kind of drain cover, so that was an easy fix. While showering, the room phone kept ringing. I decided not to zip out and pick up, and finished showering. I kept getting called so I didn't have to wait long for a chance to pick up again. And it was Tyler! And he was sorry we missed each other! And he was glad I was safe! We decided to meet in the hotel lobby, so down I went. I didn't want to wait for the elevator, so I stayed on the stairs until it got dark and spooky and it was going to lead me outside instead of to the lobby. I didn't want to end up outside and loose my bearings quite yet, so I decided to return to the inside of the building proper and find the elevator-- which took forever, man I got turned around. And I kept seeing this one room with an elevator like doorway, but nope, there's a knob right there. That was dumb.

Found the elevator (which, by the way, only activates with a door key swipe) and hit the lobby. I wanted to keep cool, so I waited outside the doors (I was only wearing my blue sweater, it was pretty warm last night, something like six degrees? It actually felt much warmer, a really nice night, comparable to Toronto as of a week ago)- the hotel clerk waived me back in, I had a phone call- of course the person had hung up before I could pick up. But a minute later there was Tyler coming out of the elevator with his girlfriend Lilian. I suppose they had tried to meet me at my room? I told them I was going to the lobby...

Tyler and Lilian were really nice and friendly, and neither of them currently work at the Web International English center that I'll be working at. They both used to work there, and Tyler was conscripted to get me despite working at another location. I guess he lives in the area? I wanted to walk over to the Roosevelt center and check things out, so we walked over. I ended up walking into some sharp branches sticking out of the fence of what may be a school, which was embarrassing. Tyler and Lilian were the first to admit that the drivers are crazy here, so it isn't just me. Tyler held up his arm to keep me off the road, he thought I was about to get run over by this car driving up like I'm Mr. Magoo, but I was actually staring at the driver the whole time. Despite notions to the contrary, I can cross a street.

Right at the corner of Roosevelt Center and whatever (not the actual street names) is a statue of fishes flying up in a screw pattern. I commented on having seen that picture when I looked up Dalian online.

Entrance to the mall is blocked by heavy matts that keep in the warm air- it's fun, sort of like I'm about to walk through a car wash. The Roosevelt center is standard, very much like the Eaton Center. It's nice, but not particularly different. There's a McDonalds right by the entrance.

The place where I'll be working is very nice- bright lights, open concept classrooms with glass walls. Very quasi futuristic- it's why I signed up with them after my interview, I saw how nice it looked even back then. Obviously part of the glass walls thing is to keep on the teachers at all times, making sure they work to maximum efficiency. But let's pretend it's just for the good vibes. Apparently my class sizes will generally be 4 people, adults. That's amazing- but even so, I'm starting to worry about whether I'll do a good job here. I hope so! The pressure is really there.

Tyler and Lilian took me up a floor to a cafeteria type place and we toured around looking at the different options. It should be interesting. As of this moment, and for the sake of convenience, I'm expecting to take all of my meals there. You purchase with a card that you pre-load money on to. I put on 100 yuan (pretty sure there were no other options, but how would I know?)- items I saw ranged from 7-16 yuan, which should be okay, though I haven't been brave enough to do the mental budgeting just yet. I skipped off eating just then, as I'd had plenty to eat on my various plane rides. I'm definitely going to slim up some on this trip, which I think I could use. Fingers crossed I don't go too far.

I parted ways with Tyler and Lilian at the subway, assured them that I could find my way back to the hotel (again, almost a straight line) and walked back. Noticed the degree to which the city is not accessible by wheel chairs.

Back at the hotel I got to work going through my bag looking for various chargers and attempting to connect to the internet. I don't see my phone charger, so I must have left it behind. I figure I've got about a day of charge before it becomes useless- and it's actually connected back to something, so I've got the time again, at least untl it runs out of power. I could even make calls, though at a high cost. I set an alarm for 10am the next day, though, as I'm writing now, it's 10:18am and I've been up for a couple of hours now writing this.

Attempting to use either of my two plug adapters while my computer, with its old battery, was chugging away felt like trying to defuse a bomb with half an hour on the clock. You know, there's time, but you're worried. I'd almost given up on the adapters after it seemed like neither of them fit- and that was when I got scared. On the other side of the world, no local language skills, no map, no phone, no clear indication that I can access my bank funds and I've got limited cash on me.

But I didn't give up on the adapter. It seems I just needed to be a bit more forceful than I was comfortable with to get the thing in, to get it to work.

That's what you'd call a metaphor for my situation.

I flipped through some tv channels for about 5 minutes, but wouldn't you know it, none of my favourite shows were on. I turned in for the night at just past 9pm Dalian time, and again, slept really well.

Woke up, did some push ups- I'll have to get back into the push ups habit, which will be good for me. Housekeeping came by and dropped off two fresh water bottles. I didn't drink either of the two that were here when I arrived, so I'm collecting quite a collection, and will therefore not die of thirst (I'd been warned off drinking straight from the tap here). I suppose I'll have to use a portion to rince my toothbrush and mouth after brushing my teeth.

It's a little hazy out, which I'm not crazy about. The weather is cool, but I think just the sweater will be fine again. There was a bird outside my window that looked like a pidgeon but with a longer tail-end, and with brighter colours, like a muted blue.

I'm not sure when I'll be able to post this, nor am I sure whether I'll be able to write as much as I have just now. I wrote a lot, right? Yeesh, it's 10:40. I'm due at Roosevelt at 1pm, and I need to find some food and whatnot.

Wish me luck, have a good day

The end of 2014

Since I started mentioning my Christmas toy donation tradition on this blog I've appreciated it as a record of which toys I've picked up- depending on the toy it tells me what kind of message or value I'd like some kid to pick up: responsibility, hope, diligence, etc. etc.

This year I donated a Spider-Man, specifically "Blitz Board Spider-Man"

I, and I assume most every kid, was never a fan of the various alternate costumes they gave figures- I always wanted to play with the character as seen on tv or the comics. So part of the reasoning behind this choice was that the Spidey figure itself is a regular costume.

Also factoring into the equation was the fact that the container wasn't in the best shape. Oh, it was fine, just that the glue that held the plastic on wasn't quite up to snuff. A kid could easily rip into it at the store and score a free Spidey. As a result the toy was half off.

If you've talked to me at all lately, you know I'm broker than I've been in years. Everything has been getting dumped into school, while I've also been working far less because, duh, I'm in school. A part of me is worried I cheaped out on the kid to get this deal, but the other part of me knows I need to be really smart with my money.
It would be super great if at some point I wouldn't need to use that sentence any more.

As for my Christmas haul? Jordan got me season 5 of the Venture Brothers, Simon got me the complete 80's Ninja Turtles show, which is amazing, and Cool Geoff got me the Shakespeare Star Wars collection, which I hadn't even mentioned to anyone how I wanted that. Thanks guys!

Been a while, here's some library books

I haven't been by here in quite some time. Things haven't been great at all, they've been mighty tough, and I didn't particularly want to share.

Still don't.

But I'm about to return some library books and I wanted to give them lip service- though I will also have skipped a bunch of other books, like 'Flashman' and some of my beloved Horatio Hornblower's (maybe just the one..)

so there was 'How Not To Be Wrong' by Jordan Ellenberg which I thought would aide my argument-making abilities. Nope, just talked about math stuff. I learned about the Laffer Curve, which is basically the representation of effective taxation for the purposes of raising government revenue where you raise the least money ($0) at 0% and 100% taxation, and therefore finding that sweet maximum point in between is what it's all about. And by 'it' I mean deciding what tax rate is the best.

I got super bored with the rest of the book, and was reminded by a girl at work that I didn't HAVE to read it.
Huh. She's right! I'm done with you, boring book!

Then there're two autobiographies

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh. Look her up, she's internet meme famous for the "ALL THE THINGS" picture, which is in fact in this book. Quick read, fun. Recommend.

Then I've got the embarrassingly titled "Never Have I Ever: My Life (so far) Without a Date" it's got a bunch of hearts all over the cover, and perhaps this wasn't the manliest book to read on the subway. Whatever. It was really fun. Curse those heartless men, they shoulda been dropping like flies at Katie's feet!

There's an exercise book that I'm going to have to return today, can't renew it. I'll get it back later.

Joke gaffe and mental exercises

The family sat down to watch Robocop last night. Yes, that is a particularly bizarre choice for us, what with the constant sweating and hyperviolence (obviously it would be fine if it was just us younguns).

At one point Simon said "He's more machine now than man." And my dad said something along the lines of 'that could be a line from The Six Million Dollar Man'.

Now, that is exactly something that I would say, it's right in my humour mill- to say something is from X when it's clearly from Star Wars. I mean Y. But I was pretty sure there was no intention of this.

I says- "Dad, you just said something that, were it done on purpose, would be REALLY funny to me. You know that line Simon just said is from Star Wars, right? Specifically The Empire Strikes Back.. no, wait, Return of the Jedi."

But, yeah, no. As expected, total accident. Bummer.

In other news, I've been getting exceptionally tired at work lately. While it's possible to attribute this to my increased frequency of gym attendance, more likely it's the case that with crackdowns and a changing workforce, I'm just not getting chatted with enough to keep me mentally stimulated.

Did you hear it takes 14 minutes on average for people to fall asleep? Yeah, sounds about right.

Considering how ridiculously easy it is to get a second wind with the slightest bit of social interaction acknowledging the fact of my existence, today I took to engaging MYSELF via mental exercises. First I concentrated on pokemon type match-ups; strengths, weaknesses, resistances, and how they stack up. Then I got to thinking about those cool feats of mental ability on t.v. when people play chess in their imaginations. So I pictured a board, figured out the check/space nomenclature (I'm guessing using the best available knowledge.. again, my own head.)- A-G, by 1-8, and then made a white move, followed by a mental flip of the table before making the mirroring move (you'd have to be insane to think I made some different move and was ACTUALLY playing against myself. I wish! That'd be really cool! And totally unverifiable!)

I made three moves and their mirror- the kings side knight to D3, the C2 pawn to C4, and the kings side bishop to C2, along with the corresponding moves on the black side of the board.

This actually helped to pass the time pretty well. I should get to work on some writing that I had previously worked on in my head so I can clear space for a new project, the enthusiasm of which would surely carry me for a few days at any rate.

Yes, I definitely need a new job!

Meet Mr. W.M. Hackman

I had a brainstorm today-

I want to write more, I have a number of projects in my head that want to exist outside of there, but one of the largest stumbling blocks is how impossible it seems to me to take these ideas and make them perfect things, wholly communicative outside of myself. Because of course that's impossible. Wires get crossed, oppourtunities missed, and it just won't ever be perfect. But the attempt is a daunting thing.

But what if it wasn't?

What if I created an alternate persona to do my initial writing for me- a self assured hack that could bounce from one project to the next, comfortable in the notion that whatever he writes will be "eh, good enough for me" and that eventually his old editor Isaac will get to re-emerge, to take these scraps, remold them after the fact, and steal them as his own.

It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT!

So, a pen-name's the thing, a pseudonym.
Readers are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

I shall become "Will Manning Hackman" (a well-meaning hack...man.)

(This could be the opening chapters for a strange re-telling of the Jekyll/Hyde story. Not that that story really gets all that much stranger)

Anyways, yes, this is just a trick to psych myself up. I'm not actually going insane. Probably.